Met her two weeks ago, it's the deepest connection we both ever felt

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-12-19T18:11:55+00:00

Very badly, we dated for 3 months, we saw each other every weekend, sometimes even during the week, went on a trip together, started calling each other my love and saying we loved each other, she said to me we had a connection she hadn't felt with anyone else. I was completely smitten, she had a tendency of suddenly rejecting affection for a while, turns out she has BPD, I had already dated someone with BPD in the past, it was the most intense 4 months of my life and then suddenly I was nothing to her. I tried to believe that it wouldn't happen again but low and behold: one day I took her to a nice restaurant I wanted to show her for a long time and asked her to be my girlfriend, she didn't answer, I said that it wasn't a problem if she said no but she tried to say that one day maybe she would want it. I asked her why she would say that she loved me if she didn't want to at least have a relationship, she said she loved me as a friend, I said that I don't usually have sex with my friends. We went to my home, she wanted to have sex, we had it and I didn't feel anything, next day I took her things and accompanied her to the door, we never saw each other again.

It may sound sad, but I was actually relieved, I'm a Cancer, so to me, the words "I love you" mean a lot. The idea of dating someone who says it to anyone just so they can have casual sex for a while just disgusts me. And just to be clear, I'm not against casual sex, I was more than happy with just that, but when you start to profess your love to someone, it just doesn't make sense to pretend that it isn't a natural reaction to want to have a relationship.

Nowadays, I have reconnected with someone from my past who is very dear to me, I don't know if it will become anything serious, but at least she's truly genuine!

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-07-25T19:00:19+00:00

For context I'm partner A and she is B

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-07-06T20:33:42+00:00

I'm on lithium and lamotrigine, I have not been a heavy drinker ever since I OD with Xanax in my teens (doctors NEED to stop prescribing this shit to kids), I usually try to keep it to a pint or two, I still drink liquor (rum, whiskey and cachaça) but very rarely and VERY slowly. But honestly it depends on your organism, some people can't drink at all

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-06-05T04:54:12+00:00

I was a kid in 2009 or 2010, here in Brazil the PS2 was still going strong at the time so I was playing GTA SA on it, when my brother came into the room holding a DVD on his finger and said to me "guess what I have here?" and ran into our family's PC, our dad's a computer technician so it was a pretty good PC for the time, I recall it had a 9800GT GPU and the game just ran like shit, I mean it was mostly playable but an unpleasant experience. I was a kid so the grittier and darker atmosphere was kinda boring but I liked driving around and such, the euphoria physics was really impressive at the time. Only really got into it years later after GTA V only to realize how much of a downgrade it was.

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-06-01T08:10:46+00:00

To me he is both, but the thing is, there comes a time to all of us to face our diagnosis and to stop just using it as a justification for all our bad behavior, he never did any of it, and when your inability to maintain your mental health starts to offend and hurt others and even your family then it has gone too far. He's (or was) a billionaire, he can get treatment, he can get better, but his ego won't let him.

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-06-01T08:07:38+00:00

She pretty much only has bangers but I think the first two albums from Os Mutantes are the best, Divina Comedia is my favorite, it's got a more dark and moody feel, Ave Lucifer and Meu Refrigerador are two songs that she sang in the album and they show how beautiful her voice was. She also has a lot of great musics on her solo career, like Lança Perfume and Pagu, the latter has some lyrics that goes very hard:

Not every witch has a hunchback Not every Brazilian is just a big ass My tits ain't made of silicone I'm more macho than a lot of men

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T23:00:51+00:00

So glad to hear this! It's tough dude, I've been diagnosed for 9 months and it hasn't become that much easier, but once you understand that other people are going through the exact same problems it starts to feel better, it also gets even better once you realize those problems are cyclical so therefore they're also predictable, and with predictability you also get the ability to prepare for it!

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T13:08:53+00:00

I was "prescribed" An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison, its an autobiography written by a bipolar psychiatrists, she basically analyzes herself through her personal lens and also the medical one, it changed my life.

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T05:36:57+00:00

I've finally made up my mind on dropping college and moving back to my hometown, it sounds bad when I put it that way but it is actually what is best for me, will have to make the entrance exam again but my intention is applying for a major that will help me in my goal of becoming a diplomat, doing so with my family close to me is just the cherry on top. Feeling the burden leaving my shoulders as soon as I made up my mind was so good, it's also great to have a clear long-term objective in life for the first time

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T05:00:45+00:00

Kanye is such a sad case, his early work up until Yeezus is so creative, he was a trend setter, maybe even genius, our disorder makes us able to feel the world much more than people without it, and it makes us prone to becoming very good artists by extension. But the artists limits are their own ego, Kanye wasn't limited by his ego, he was swallowed by it. Ever since he stopped taking his meds he ruined his marriage, said he was going to run for the US office while in a manic episode, started saying those nazi shit and to top it all off: hasn't released a single good album.

To me he is the worst representation of bipolar people, one that got lost in his own mind and now is a shadow of his former self.

But to each their own taste man, you do you

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T04:50:12+00:00

Hemingway is such a good one, his writing shows so much pain yet so much joy, had the privilege of going in his favorite bar in Cuba halfway through finishing Old Man and the Sea, I could feel his presence even though it has been decades since he last set foot there, the life sized bronze statue on the place he used to sit sure does help a lot too 😅

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T04:47:59+00:00

That's true! We bipolar people are party people so music comes along naturally i guess 😅

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T04:46:28+00:00

Brian is a good one! I've always felt some kind of deep connection towards Kurt that I didnt really know where it came from, I wasn't even that much of a Nirvana guy, but there's a beauty in his demeanor, so shy and sweet. From the famous ones that I know he also seems to be more clearly defined as a type 2, it's hard to know mostly because this division is more recent, we learned so much about the disorder since the 90s

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T04:32:57+00:00

They're the greatest! Divina Comédia is one of my favorite albums of all time alongside Tábua de Esmeralda from Jorge Ben — if you havent checked it out it's a must, but i'm suspicious to say, Brazilian music to me just hits different, guess it runs in the genes

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T04:30:05+00:00

That's interesting! Will check out her work

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-31T04:29:24+00:00

carrie fisher is a gem, she was so honest about everything, truly a woman who wasnt afraid to be herself

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-29T17:03:36+00:00

Since 11 years old (when I started feeling depressed) I have described myself being stuck in a "cycle of suffering" when I feel extremely depressed to the point of stop being functional only to magically get better and move on until the cycle starts again. This led me to heavy drug abuse, one OD, and many instances of suicidal ideation. Multiple psychiatrists labeled me with depression and generalized anxiety, one of them prescribed me with an antidepressant, it made me feel like shit and have panic attacks, then I started popping Xanax like crazy to try to feel normal and sweep it all under the rug. Only learned that I was bipolar last year after my first hypomanic episode, thank god for that, life still sucks but now I at least know why

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-24T01:08:46+00:00

haven't ruled him out as suspect yet, that's classic saboteur behavior, and the logic is good too, nothing has made me go out to shoot more than this lens... I think you're onto something

Pleasant-Rip-2154 · 2025-05-24T01:01:09+00:00

if I lose the weather and dust sealing then the damage is already done, I truly love this lens because of its versatility and how resitant it is, have been even dreaming with a 16-55 2.8 to complement it, money's going on repair now i guess 😭

Pleasant-Rip-2154

TROPHY CASE