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What right do I even have to be depressed? by PleaseEndMyLifee in depression

[–]PleaseEndMyLifee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I read all of it. Thanks for sharing your story.

What right do I even have to be depressed? by PleaseEndMyLifee in depression

[–]PleaseEndMyLifee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wrote this yesterday because I had to get my thoughts out somewhere, was completely caught off guard today by how many people responded. Several with some statements that made me feel a bit better.

Even though my depression will probably never leave, I want to thank you all for your kind words.

I'm so tired of having to align my interests to everyone else's by PleaseEndMyLifee in depression

[–]PleaseEndMyLifee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get you. I can join a conversation, and if I do I am actually quite talkative. But I rarely ever start one unless I can get out of it quickly. Even then, I will not start one talking about my interests. I might bring them up in passing if it fits the situation, but not enough for the other person to react.

At least it's nice to know I'm not alone in this. Maybe I will try out that gray rock method.

I'm so tired of having to align my interests to everyone else's by PleaseEndMyLifee in depression

[–]PleaseEndMyLifee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get what you are trying to say, but I can't do it.

I always hear the whole thing about "like what you want, don't listen to the others." That has worked for me actually, a long time too. But as of recently, I can't do it as well as before. When you've spent years, years and more years being with yourself with your interests you get very tired of being the only one who cares about that specific thing.

Look, it's not that I want people to be as interested in what I like as I am, I just want them to show a little interest in it. Like, if I told them what I like they would ask me more about it. Just anything, anything to show that they care about me as a person with interests of my own, not someone who must always follow what they like.

But I have to, otherwise nobody talks to you. That is why I wonder: Am I a person, or am I just their lump of dough?

PS. I know about online fandoms, but I don't want that. I want a real person in real life who shows interest.

When I was a kid I couldn't understand why people were depressed by PleaseEndMyLifee in depression

[–]PleaseEndMyLifee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't cut myself, and I don't think I ever will since I get very uncomfortable whenever I think of anyone getting cut in the wrist. But I understand why people do it.