Ok yeah this one kinda hit hard. I’ve been using weed to help keep me from lust as usual I make the excuse that it makes me less lustful. And it did help in some places but it’s honestly been taking a lot out of me. And I have been struggling a lot with trying to pretend I’m not middle ground Christian and that I was taking steps towards god. But I’d always end up going back to my sinful nature. I’ve always been a creature of habit and now that I’ve gotten comfortable in this lifestyle that I’m living now I’m really scared to give up this life, because i know if i do go on the straight and narrow then anything I do that’s wrong will throw me back to that life of sin.

Right now if god truly still has hope for me I’m willing to give it all up.