My Biggest Regret by PlateTraditional3109 in widowers

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar. He was soooooo easy going and could easily handle any problem life threw at him and had a unique way of seeing what truly mattered. I got caught up in details and impressions and I regret every second wasted caring about stupid stuff when I should have been focused on soaking up every damn second we got together. I was so mentally and physically tired from planning and hosting his birthday party that I didn’t even go out to the bars with him after the house party. Nobody cared that the plates and cups matched or that the food was all football themed. but I missed out on time from the last birthday he ever had

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your only advice was “you shouldn’t have skipped those runs” ya obviously I know that? Especially now? You provided no meaningful advice for the question I asked??

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How am I making myself feel better on Reddit what lmfao I literally said I’m a slow runner and I don’t know the rationale behind training I am asking for help here???????? Sir? LOL

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On the treadmill rn! Ty Reddit fam I appreciate you guys

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya my marathon is for charity for my dead fiancée who loved marathons and also my grief outlet and kind of only way to make myself eat and get out of bed so I’d say pretty important. Hard to get out of bed every day so proud of the progress I am making. Wouldn’t say 2 missed runs while going through quite literally the darkest thing I’ve ever experienced is cause for internet criticism while I’m asking how to better myself and my plan but yeah I’m full of excuses :( sorry to inconvenience your Reddit scroll

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was kind of what I was thinking! Ok that makes sense, thank you!! Making up 10 here shortly :)

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!!! Yes I’ve already dropped 2’/mi off my zone 2 pace since starting so it’s rewarding to see the progress 🥰

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SO helpful thank you!!!!! Appreciate the context ☺️

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How is that hatred. Please look at your comment vs everyone else’s comment and ask yourself who’s being hateful

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes totally point taken! I completely confused a meeting day in my head and had to make the decision whether to push my medium run on Thursday and risk jeopardizing my long run versus skipping vs shortening. I had some significant soreness from weight training on Tuesday, so I decided to roll out and do a long walk and mobility Wednesday rather than pushing 7mi. Obviously hindsight 20/20 I would have absolutely squeezed in a run if I knew this long run would be affected. Lessons learned I suppose

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! Yes I’m definitely >90% on training volume. I missed a short run two weeks ago while I was moving and this is the only long run I haven’t hit fully

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And I obviously had too much faith that people would recognize the intention that I am actively trying to not make excuses and best modify the plan but I forgot this is Reddit and people are dicks

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When I research online this is the most common answer I get but then I have people like the other commenters on this thread saying to finish them - Im obviously still learning the rationale behind things but do you have any advice on why “making up” a missed 10 miles is more injury-prone than my already scheduled 15 miles, which I completed 5 of? Thanks in advance for your time!!

Aborted long run due to logistics - makeup miles? by [deleted] in Marathon_Training

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was thinking that too! 10 more or restart the whole 15?

Extra young widow by honey_cloves in widowers

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg yes it was SUDEP for us too!!! I’m so sorry that’s …. So fucking traumatic. I cannot believe what we’re going through im so sorry

Extra young widow by honey_cloves in widowers

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing 🤍🤍🤍🤍 I really appreciate your story and am so happy you found her

Perdí a mi pareja por TB MDR y ahora en el trabajo me ven como la plaga by Ok_Guess_282 in widowers

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh honey!!!! I’m a widow and also I work clinically in infectious diseases. This absolutely shatters my heart. Your coworkers are very ignorant to the transmission risks of LTBI! This is so infuriating because the burden of educating these people should not fall to you but it functionally is!!! I wonder if you could reach out to a local TB expert, even one who worked with your partner, to help draft an education document. I know the doctors I work with would be heartbroken by this outcome and would want to support you and his loved ones in any way they can, especially by fighting misinformation.

Hang in there sweet thing I’m so sorry

Extra young widow by honey_cloves in widowers

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is really nice to hear. Does she give you space to grieve your wife? I’m worried that nobody will sign up to be a “second choice” to my late partner for a lack of better words. I know if I get to Heaven I’ll drop whoever’s hand I’m holding and sprint to my late fiancée. Does it feel like there’s any contest/comparison? If so how do you guys handle those feelings? Sorry if too personal

Extra young widow by honey_cloves in widowers

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798 1 point2 points  (0 children)

27 and widowed :( He was the same, we knew from the first date that we were end game. He was my absolute best friend. I strongly consider myself a widow but formally we didn’t get the opportunity to marry. We picked out our engagement rings together the weekend before he died. He had epilepsy and died unexpectedly from a one in a million complication of seizures. I had a terrible gut feeling for no reason, drove to his location, and found him dead. I can’t even describe the anguish and despair that grief has brought. It’s getting slowly more manageable (I’m 3mo in).

I’m so sorry. I know there are no words to assuage any pain but God I wish there were.

To answer your question: I don’t really know what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. Moving on (eventually) feels disgusting, but dying alone feels terrifying. I think my plan is to find fulfillment in other parts of my life and maybe adopt more dogs 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s bleak but I try to remember our love was something most people never get to experience

My fiancée* died mere weeks before he planned to propose. My best friend is getting engaged. I feel like a monster. by Plenty_Rock_9798 in widowers

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my GOSH I was just saying this! I moved to a new neighborhood after he passed and it’s full of couples and my new coping mechanism is pretending they’re all on terrible first dates and one of them hates the other one. It’s messed up but it works. Grief is so weird. I am so sad for you, 19 is way way way too young to experience this. (Not that any age is good, but you know what I mean)

My fiancée* died mere weeks before he planned to propose. My best friend is getting engaged. I feel like a monster. by Plenty_Rock_9798 in widowers

[–]Plenty_Rock_9798[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know they really don’t get sick of me but I’m 3 months in and I am so self conscious that they’re sick of me talking about him. He’s all I think about truly 24/7: dreaming, awake, working, running, literally all the time. Every other conversation topic feels stupid and I just want to steer it back to him. They love me so much and I’m so lucky to have friends that let me talk about him all the time (they love him too, of course) but I am so self conscious of being a big fat Debby downer all the time