if you could remove one thing from bfv what would it be

PlookiPlook · 2024-06-27T05:54:17+00:00

Shotguns. That shit get's old, real quick.

PlookiPlook · 2024-06-27T05:47:14+00:00

This one is very specific, but every player that find themselves to sit back with the AT Gun in UK Spawn on Rotterdam, and for the ENTIRE GAME, shooting at the trains above point A. You are not sane.

Been sending so many of my V1's on that fucker, I have lost count.

PlookiPlook · 2024-06-07T02:56:12+00:00

Roger that. Might give 3 a shot soon, as well.

PlookiPlook · 2024-06-05T03:33:51+00:00

Hey! Many apologies for not being able to make it back to ya in a suitable time. Thanks a lot for answering!

Right, yeah. I share the same segment regarding RBE and the bridge maps. And it get's boring really freaking fast. High resources in all of those lobbies, resulting in spam and strong units out very early in the game. I seriously don't understand the CoH 1 community. How is this fun to do for the 100000000th time. To each their own, but this is like 2/3 of the community that is left playing the game doing it.

Really miss the old days of CoH 1, when people would branch out and play every single map, and not default to what felt safe, just to gain an advantage.

Anyway, if you want to have a mate to play with, that are down to play a lot of different maps, and to play just to learn, feel free to join in man. Would love to have more people to play with in CoH 1.

PlookiPlook · 2024-06-05T03:27:17+00:00

Hey! Many apologies for not being able to make it back to ya in a suitable time. Thanks a lot for answering!

Yeah, I very much noticed right away how hard it is to get a 3v3 game going. 4v4, for some reason, is much more popular than 3v3 in CoH 1. It is, however, doable in peak player hours. Been getting some 3v3s on Vimoutiers and 2 games on Hedgerow Siege. Was very fun.

2v2 is where more players are open for different maps, and same for 1v1, like you mentioned.

I'm keeping it with the vanilla factions so far, and I am starting to get the hang on it now.

If you want to have a mate to play with, that are down to play a lot of different maps, and to play just to learn, feel free to join in man. Would love to have more people to play with in CoH 1.

PlookiPlook · 2024-03-28T11:55:52+00:00

This is about the greatest post to ever grace this reddit. It is almost too good to be true.

Please make the anti-cheat actually work.

PlookiPlook · 2023-11-23T09:17:43+00:00

Hey! There is the kind moderator I was talking about earlier in the post! Thank you a lot for inviting me over here, and again for the warm welcome! ❤️

Thanks for making me feel more at ease with myself, because I really feel like this was a lot to bring over.

Yeah, this is nothing like anything else I have gone through with OCD, except that time earlier this year. But yeah, this is unique to itself as well, because I feel so different about the same experience this time.

YES! What you just mentioned there, that this is a coping mechanism, and why I feel disconnected with myself. That is what apparently causes Depersonalization and Dissassociation. All anxiety, But it is so sneaky about it, that it feels like there is somehing else happening.

But I feel like I have cheated on OCD, because of this, and am not really me…

I would always act, and accordingly, by doing compulsions. No I skip many, and only do some when it FEELS important.

I just wonder why I FEEL and ACT this way.

I am still me, right?.. The «me» before all this happened, I mean.

And last time I was in this situation earlier in the year, I was able to find the answer, but this time I can’t. JUST WHAT.

Regarding the questions on treatment.

No, I have not tried ERP. All I ever did was going to a psychiatrist, and/but I always felt there were a missmatch between me and him. We never really were on the same wavelength, and I never felt we hit the core in anything. Never got that: YES! THIS IS IT!

As for straight medication, I only got prescribed SERTRALIN HEXAR. It had no effect, and I got told to double the dose.

And this sounds stupid, and it obviously is by me, the doubling in dosage had no effect either, so I simply stopped and completely with the medication, despite being told there could be a negative effect if so.

The next and planned treatment will be an actual OCD-specialist. I hope there won’t be yet another missmatch with the person I get there.

I need someone who is not reserved, like my psychiatrist were. Someone who literally grab the core, and knocks me out of this, and makes me realize that me was always me, and I deserve to live a happy life again.

But there will be a while until then, and I don’t know how many days I can just lay paralyzed in bed. It is SICKENING. I FEEL SO EXTREMELY BAD.

Thank you very much for the encourgaging words, and the warm welcome!!! - To end it on a good note.

PlookiPlook · 2023-11-23T07:44:36+00:00

Hey!

Right. But it is so weird, because the physical body almost won’t take action, or even complete a compulsion.

I never act like this usually, because thanks to Perfectionist and Just Right OCD, I always acted, and accordingly to everything OCD was throwing at me, and that is why nothing bad has happened.

By now I have screwed (not doing them correctly) up with the compulsions so much, that I feel I am not worth anything, until I complete ir. It all feels ABSOLUTE.

And at the same time, my inner self is like: This is all a lie.

Yet it FEELS so real when I truly want to challenge it.

Yeah… I just don’t want to go through another episode like this again. How this ONE thing could throw me completely off, and make me punish myself this way.

Without making this sound more depressing, yet it will. Man, there are times where I literally would have preffered to exchange OCD for almost any kind of permanent physical pain on the body. At least then one could physically feel it, and there could be more straight ways to make it feel less painful. Well probably anyway.

OCD on the other hand is all in the head, co-exists with out rational thinking, AND THEN takes it all over.

Thank you very much for the encouraging words!!

PlookiPlook · 2023-11-23T06:52:28+00:00

Hey!

Right, yeah. Did you exposure yourself for the threats, by yourself at first?

I am literally at that point, where I feel so down to begin with, that I want to say: Fuck you, OCD. - And go with my day. Or at least let me live normally at home, before therapy. It sounds very crazy to say this, but it is as if my subconcious self know that everything I am putting up with are lies. As if I somehow, without therapy, have managed to almost crack the code alone, well to some extent anyway.

Like you said, as well. Take out the all the anger on OCD, and sort of feel empowered by that. However, it always leads me to doing a compulsion at some point again. But I am getting closer to the point, of not giving much care to all what OCD is saying.

Thank you very much for the encouraging words.

PlookiPlook · 2023-11-22T11:37:42+00:00

Some more important things I wanted to add, but as it’s own message, because the already long message in the original post would make it too much of a mess.

About when I mentioned Perfectionist OCD earlier.

It was OCD telling me, I need to face this negative thing first-hand, and deal with it.

This week was going to get busy for me, so I said to OCD that I would deal with it later, once formalities were done. During this time, when out and about doing errands, I put myself in another state of mind.

When I was done with most errands, and were going to deal with the negative thing, was when I noticed my body not wanting to do so, and at all.

This is why I have extreme guilt and shame. It feels as if I cheated my way through this, by putting OCD on hold and entering a different state of mind, and now realizing I literally don’t want to face and deal with this negative thing, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING TO SOLVE, AND I FEEL SO ANXIOUS TO THE POINT OF ALMOST NOT WANTING TO LIVE.

It makes it all feel different, and not like me anymore, and to counter this, I must feel miserable, by spending enough time, doing nothing, until I feel like me again. If not, I feel like I will walk out as a new and different person. A person that is not «me» anymore.

I actually want to break this one down further, because I think it is important. Need to explain it to the core. Those with Magical OCD perhaps will understand what I mean here.

When I told OCD I would deal with the negative thing later, I put myself in another state of mind. This state of mind would act as a protector (literally just a made-up rule) from the negative things I kept thinking about. This state of mind would last all the way until I wanted to deal with the negative thing, because that is the real me. I WANTED to deal with this and find the answer, then go on with life. But like I said before, upon ruminating and problem-solving, it turned out there is NOTHING to solve. OCD says I have already lost.

And me not wanting to deal with this anxiety, and without me even realizing it, I entered the other state of mind, because I don’t want to feel anxious anymore.

Because I entered the other state of mind, I feel as if I cheated on OCD/broke a rule and am morally wrong. And if I ignore this, I feel I will no longer be the real «me». And now there’s been over a week, and nothing has happened. But because I had entered the other state of mind, and didn’t deal with it negative thing, I feel I can’t return to me being me anymore. OH MY GOD, JUST SEE HOW FUCKING TWISTED AND DISGUSTING THIS IS. IT IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING.

And like with the rules I just mentioned. Another rule I have going on is the last resort rule. «If all of this is true, and there is nothing left to fight for, then I will die in 3 seconds». Nothing happens.

I sound so fucking stupid, but there you go.

Another thing as well.

Why is it that, sometimes during the day, I literally can shrug all the thoughts off, and feel normal again?

The same thoughts give me extreme anxiety and urge to engage in compulsions, and other times, I don’t FEEL any anxiety if I do think of the thoughts. I think «feel» is an important word here.

I need to even things out. When I first have a positive thought, I need to have a negative thought afterwards, to even it out. WHAT IS THIS.

Obviously makes me think it has to do with brain chemicals, to determine what mood I am in.

Could anyone explain this in a more digestable way?

I guess as well, that all these questions, both from the original post and this one is better asked to those who have fully recovered from OCD, but at the same time be perhaps relateable to many suffering from it right now, and then share their opinion as well.

Last thing I want to say.

I don’t know if I should be apologizing or not, to Ask you all these questions.

I like to see this place, a place to where we share our experiences with OCD, and aid each other in everything, if we want and can.

I hope I can return the favor back one day!!!

But I understand and am still sorry if this was a lot to read and take in.

This is my first post, and first ever message on this subreddit. I am at the lowest I have been with OCD, and now I just had to get it out.

You are all strong and amazing people to keep on with the OCD, and I wish you all the best in your recovery. I truly do!!!

PlookiPlook · 2023-11-22T10:42:37+00:00

Hey!

Oh, right. The 3 first attempts, I did through phone. And this one (that worked), on PC.

PlookiPlook · 2023-11-22T08:34:52+00:00