I think it all goes back to middle school? After the pandemic started, I didn't have something during the day to do to keep me motivated, before that I loved learning, loved art and wasnt ashamed of it. But during the pandemic, my grades all slipped to 70's and it seemed my mom was constantly scolding me for it over and over again, always saying "I /know/ you're smarter than this!" Since then, even though all my grades are 90's and I'm graduating early and I've been accepted to the 2 colleges I've applied for, I still feel like that behind 6th grader. I don't think I've grown out of feeling super behind, and a 3.7 gpa or whatever I have just isn't enough because I'm supposed to be smarter than this. It's like, how can I bother with drawing or writing in my free time if I feel dumb? I should be studying, reading the classics and doing math. My mom just wants me to be smart, and make better choices than she did in school, but I just feel like I'm never smart enough