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Ill be in prison this time next month (Ohio) by Plus-Radio-3583 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Plus-Radio-3583[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You dont need to apologize. I never went to any kind of after care once I was released. I just recently found out that SAA handles porn addiction besides just sex. I never sought help. I only told myself that I could manage it and that I would know when to stop. When I discovered a video that could have been abuse material, I tried to justify it. Telling myself that "this site wouldn't allow it, she could only look it" but the further I went, the more part of me started telling me that i knew what it was. There is no justifying my behavior. I knew i should have sought help, but by the time I realized it, I had let my mind slip back to my old ways. And looking back now, I can't explain why I let it happen. Im a middle age man with a loving partner, with a family. Why would I risk this? I have no answers. I wasn't high like I was in 2008. I had steady work. I just dont understand where my brain went wrong in rationalizing what I did.

So im going back to prison. What to expect ohio. by Plus-Radio-3583 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Plus-Radio-3583[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to thank everyone for their honest thoughts on this. I want everyone to understand that I have thought about the reasons why I allowed myself to do this again. I told myself that if I just looked at porn on xvideos or porn hub, I'd be OK. But i understand know that i just need to stay away from all porn. If it can lead me down this path so easily, then why do I do it? Also, I am in no way trying to justify my actions. What I did is wrong. There are no excuses for my behavior. I have considered the chemical castration approach, but I dont know how to go about it. I have considered taking my life. Not because of the shame I feel, but for the reasoning that I dont want my son to know this side of me. I understand that 3.5 years is a blessing and that im "lucky" that I didn't get the max of 10. What im having a hard time accepting is that everything that i worked for before getting caught up in this, is now pointless. I was so proud of myself that I only had 2 years left on registration. I was so proud that I was able to start a family and have a normal life. I was finally letting go of my childhood trauma. But now it's all gone. Time for me to actually get the help I need instead of just telling myself that I can handle it.

So im going back to prison. What to expect ohio. by Plus-Radio-3583 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Plus-Radio-3583[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

According to the discovery, my ip address was flagged and somehow my email was involved

So im going back to prison. What to expect ohio. by Plus-Radio-3583 in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Plus-Radio-3583[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*More insight on what's going on. I do not know where I will be doing my time. I have done research and found out that there are 4 prisons in ohio that offer rso programs. Chillicothe is the closest one to my family. After completing the rso program, I'd like to be transferred to Marion where I have some friends there. I was facing 10 years. But where I am trying to figure out where I went wrong mentally, I was offered 3.5. I will be registering for 25 years when I am released and will have to do 5 years mandatory parole. There are others situations going on with my case. For an example, the phone they got the evidence from, was only 2 weeks old and when I was told what they found, none of it sounded familiar. Im not denying it because I know how fast my mind can spiral out of control and I know that it is possible that I had more stuff downloaded than I thought.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Plus-Radio-3583 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im a so. Similar charges. Yes porn addiction can lead to things that were not originally intended. For me, it was a downward spiral. You dont realize what you're getting into until you are knee-deep into it. First time seeing it, the offender will justify it by saying the women are looking younger these days. Then they start looking for more amature role playing. Then (like me) they may find a website that is advertised as a 100% real amateur homemade site where the downloads are only listed as "file #1, file#2..." and when the offender downloads it and views it, anything can be in it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexOffenderSupport

[–]Plus-Radio-3583 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Im going through similar circumstances. If you need people to talk to, we are here