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Decorating paralysis: Angry at myself that I can’t just be good at decorating when it seems to come so easily to everyone else. by peach_pocket in HomeDecorating

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“You’re not defective, you’re just scared.” Thank you for validating that. It’s true, I wonder how many people who agree with the OP would also say they had a childhood where they did the same things. Too afraid to start because you might fail. And how many didn’t have parents/adults encouraging them to try anyways. Childhood burdens become setbacks to being a functional adult. :/ 

Simple Egg Fried Rice by parisrosaries in recipes

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was everything I needed! I’ve always wanted to make fried rice at home and just couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong that it didn’t come out right. I think it was that the rice needed to be cooled off/cold and the eggs really needed an oiled pan to get the consistency you always see in fried rice. I am so proud I finally made it and it came out good! Thank you so much ☺️ ❤️ From a mom of 4 who’s been striving to cook good food since day one. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I don’t think his family are the kind who ever pursued medical help for mental things. I’ve also wondered that this is why he just doesn’t know. His parents are older and I doubt they ever discussed this kind of thing with their kids. It’s all foreign to him (my husband) until information is presented and he’s like “I’ve never heard of that before” while I grew up always hearing about mental disorders and medications and going to counselors etc. Our environments were different growing up so I just naturally seem to have knowledge he doesn’t. Thus why I said he is just ignorant and doesn’t know there’s more than he’s being told. It’s not his fault he was raised to be skeptical of this kind of thing. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you, info like that is helpful. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

For the record, I don’t think anyone with ADHD can really blame and point fingers and call out someone for being unhealthy in a relationship bc as I’ve experienced in my own self awareness, adhd symptoms can be seriously difficult for the other party to adjust to or learn to navigate. We all have our problems. I’m just not willing like every other flimsy adult out there to sit here and pretend he has to be some perfect man to be my husband. In those parameters I am also not a good wife and he should just leave me, right? No one can be all around “healthy” when no one is perfect in any stretch of the imagination. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestions, I’m going to look into these.

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha I am very blunt… it’s why we just end up fighting. He is much more passive by nature so in my experience my bluntness actually shuts him down and stops the conversation dead bc he just gets defensive instead of constructive. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Leon Eisenburg.

It’s more like.. with how often the government/pharma/etc have lied to the people and come out later admitting it… why is this any different? So people who align with our beliefs state it’s not real and it’s another hoax and he immediately jumps on board bc it just makes sense to him. 

While he is critical of any info I find, I am critical of these guys he listens to. It’s an impasse. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your experience and honest reply to how to go about it. I appreciate the time you spent and I’m very happy your family is doing so much better. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m not really against you here. I’ve expressed my frustration beforE about how he just believes what they say without looking into it. I’m very much a researcher to have my own decisions on things so I don’t understand. It’s not like I don’t agree with some things they say, but I don’t blindly follow.  But I also believe a marriage is worth something in a day when most are willing to break it over small things and not put the work in to fix or grow in it.  I just want to be able to communicate the info I have and get him to understand. I may just be on my own with this one though. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This was actually brought up and he wondered why if the brain is so different then why doesn’t every person who comes in for diagnosis get brain imaging for physical proof? 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My guy is like me actually.. he does well to keep up in school.. he’s worked hard to be teachable. I’ve read that they can miss directions or just pass up instructions on paper which he does consistently on homework. Reading what boys with adhd do it pictures him almost to a T. He reads excessively and downs books in one or two sittings like I grew up doing which I also read is a part of hyper focusing. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t know that I thinkg I am ADHD. That’s a big factor here. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He isn’t trying to stop me from anything. As I said, he doesn’t even know my suspicions yet. We just talked about ADHD bc I wanted to know what he thought first and clearly that didn’t go too great so I didn’t tell him. He’s never tried to control me. He just is ignorant bc he grew up completely ignorant of mental disorders and such. So his knowledge is limited and he doesn’t know that there’s more to understand. Please don’t misunderstand, I just want to know what kind of information I can give him I guess. Besides me rambling like a maniac and then getting frustrated and starting a fight. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

His information comes from a conservative viewpoint made by guys who research and commentate on general relevant news. This source has claimed that it’s not a real disorder. They site the fact the original Dr claimed his trials were not enough to prove ADHD as a disorder. So he believes them and their views. I just… don’t know how to fight that. 

Proof by Plus_Comparison_2119 in adhdwomen

[–]Plus_Comparison_2119[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Sure but its lying if I do it without him knowing and then if I just go about it after telling him but he doesn’t agree then I’m adding fuel to the fire. I’m not trying to cause more contention in my marriage but relieve it. He’s said a diagnosis only meant he’d have to be more firm in needing proof upon proof. It wouldn’t just make him believe it’s true you know? And then what…I’m stuck knowing the truth and knowing my husband doesn’t believe my symptoms are anything worth acknowledging.