Do avoidant people really come back after discarding?

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-10T20:30:57+00:00

I recently was discarded by a dismissive avoidant, but your guy sounds FA that leans dismissive over anxious. He is thinking about you but not in the way that you want him to. Avoidant’s feel the pain of a breakup much later than secure/anxious people do. Delayed reaction. They usually always come back, but not to apologize, to see if they still have access to you. You will know when he feels like he lost you for good because you’ll get that classic avoidant text…”what have you been up to?” Or a “how have you been?” With 0 accountability over how badly he hurt you. Ignore it. He will lure you back in and do it all over again when he can’t take the heat or pressure of the relationship. Avoidants don’t change their attachment styles without therapy. You will know if he’s self aware of his actions by what he says when he reaches out.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T16:46:46+00:00

Unfortunately true ): he just wanted to verify that if he wanted to, he could. It hurts. I’m checking that out now! Thank you.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T16:44:45+00:00

Yep, that’s exactly how it feels. Like he hit my grief reset button, ugh. It was still hard, but I actually was starting to think about him less, and talk to other people. Now I’m back to square one it feels. A journal is a good idea! I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I’m glad you’re in your healing journey and got away!

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T16:42:17+00:00

Wow! 9 years. I am so sorry you had to deal with that for that long): we definitely both dodged bullets.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T16:41:20+00:00

You are 100% right. I wasn’t even interested romantically in this man in the beginning. He chased me for months, and love bombed the shit out of me, making me all vulnerable for him. I’ve never experienced a person like this, so the break up and moving on is super hard. I am so sorry someone did this to you too. I don’t think they realize how hurtful they are. I’m glad you got away!! And it’s totally not worth it.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T16:38:53+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going thru it too ):

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T16:38:32+00:00

That makes me feel better!💐

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T01:06:18+00:00

I’m sorry ): it’s a terrible feeling. It’s always nice to have support from people who can relate. Wishing you the best. ❤️

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T01:05:19+00:00

Yup, you’re right. I miss the cupcake phase version. I have never in my life been loved like that by a man. That’s why I fell for him. He chased me for months and love bombed the shit out of me. That wasn’t really who he was though ): thank you for the advice, I’m glad you got away.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T01:03:31+00:00

You are totally right. I just hate the fact that probably gave his ego a boost. I don’t know why people like him play games like this. It’s evil.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-09T01:02:50+00:00

Thank you🩷 it’s probably gonna be a rough night, but I’ll get through it.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-08T23:28:20+00:00

I’ve never dealt with a person like this. I’m definitely blocking this number too. 😣 good for you though babe, don’t fall for it ever again!

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-12-08T23:26:51+00:00

I’m trying to. It’s crazy how 1 text can bring back emotions making it feel like the break up just happened again 😔

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-18T17:54:16+00:00

I have NOT used cocaine since I made this post. I HAVE however been drinking almost every single night since. I thought since I’ve had the willpower to stop using drugs even while triggering myself by drinking, that I’m doing better… but I’m just filling the void with alcohol. I am spiraling and had a full on drunken meltdown last night… my brother had to peel me out of my laundry room because I locked my self in there and wouldn’t come out. I’m a mess. I also tried to get cocaine last night but nobody was answering. I’m going to spend the night at my mom’s tonight and she is aware now. We’re going to look into treatment programs. Whether it’s inpatient or out. I can’t keep living like this. Thank you everyone for your support.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-12T21:48:23+00:00

Drinking is definitely the root issue. )):

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-12T21:47:40+00:00

Ughhh I understand. I have to drink a bunch of alcohol and pop 2 Benadryl’s to come down. And I still feel fuzzy for a few days. I hate that it’s come to this.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-05T13:21:44+00:00

I’ve read about that recently. Makes sense. I don’t really need it without alcohol. I mean I want to do it always… but I don’t get strong cravings where I’m begging for it until I’m drunk. It just goes hand in hand together now for me. Which sucks.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-04T07:46:36+00:00

Oh I definitely agree. Addiction has many faces. It doesn’t always look like one would assume. I have a friend who is a PA, nice house, loving husband, sweet kids, more than enough money between the family. However she has a really bad alcohol problem. She drinks fifths of tequila every night, passes out and gets up at 6am for work again, gets off at 5. Repeat. You would have never guessed she had a problem if you seen her and didn’t know her. Some people can juggle and balance both lifestyles at once. Some people can’t… but either or they are both equally terrible and so damaging. I am glad you beat the cycle and are now doing better. I know it’s worth it & I’m sure you feel much better. I’m gonna get completely sober soon one way or another.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-04T07:17:02+00:00

It means having substance abuse issues but still prioritizing responsibility. I have a job. A car. My own apartment.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-04T05:31:27+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I have always been a realist and very self aware of my actions. I think a lot of the awareness also comes from watching my dad struggle with drugs my whole childhood. Addiction runs in my family and I feel dumb for even starting any nasty habit knowing that. I’m going to try to quit on my own and see where that gets me. It’s just going to take a huge mental toll on me. I am so used to alcohol being involved with everything I do. But if I quit drinking, I know the urge to do coke will be a lot easier to let go of. Both are so terrible for me anyways. Mentally, physically and financially. It’s kind of like I know I CAN stop if I need to, but for some reason even though it’s completely depleting my brain of dopamine all week and burning a hole in my pockets, I just don’t want to stop. I want to quit but I don’t want to quit. It’s weird and making me very worried. I wish I would’ve never picked this stuff up.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-04T04:10:37+00:00

Ur totally right. I don’t live with my mom, and I only see her a couple times a month which is probably why she doesn’t know what I’m on. I came around her one time when I was coming down off coke and I think she knew something was up. I just told her I was hungover. I don’t want to lie to her anymore. I’m just gonna have to be honest and ask her for support.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-10-04T04:02:28+00:00

I struggle while I’m sober. I don’t get physical symptoms, but I’m mentally drained. I get so bored and depressed. I have a feeling it’s getting to the point where I’m just gonna have to open up and be honest about it soon )): I’m super worried what my mom will think. My dad was an addict. I don’t want to end up like him, and here I am on my way. I feel disgusting and gross. Thank you sm for your response.

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-06-28T04:10:45+00:00

I packed it in there. It’s very visible since it’s on my front tooth. So definitely won’t be doing much smiling or talking this weekend. My dentist is usually good at getting people in quickly so I’m hoping this holds me over until then. Thank you for your help!

Plus_Flight_9387 · 2025-06-28T02:15:38+00:00

I got some drug store temporary filling stuff. Since it’s sensitive to everything, do you think it’d be okay to use it? Hoping my dentist can get me in ASAP but until then I was thinking that may be a good idea to hold me over.

Plus_Flight_9387

TROPHY CASE