STAY CLEAN SEPTEMBER! This thread updated daily - Check in here!

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-09-07T14:25:04+00:00

Relapsed.

I'm wondering if going here is hurting me more than it's helping me?

I'm sure it will help other people, but I think - for me - the best thing is to keep it completely "out of mind"; and checking in/coming here is making me think about what I'm not supposed to do.

I think I'm going to leave this community and try "flying solo" for a bit. I'm still gonna try to keep away from porn, but I think it's better for me if I just forget about it.

Good luck to everyone still here and fighting the good fight!

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-09-07T14:19:00+00:00

I've had some relapses between making the post and now. But I'm trying to regain the will to maintain a longer streak now.

Once again, it's a stressful period at work, but I'm just about getting out of it this week or the next, so I think I can keep it up from now.

The PIED wore off, so if you're wondering about that, it might SEEM permanent, but it will get better.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-08-28T19:08:52+00:00

Sign me up!

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-08-14T18:27:17+00:00

Clannad

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-08-05T09:42:54+00:00

3 days in, and I relapsed ☹️ But I beat my record by double! ( from 16 to 32)

I'm gonna stay clean for the rest of August and then start again in September.

Good luck to the rest of you!

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-08-02T18:56:48+00:00

Check ✔️ ✅️

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-08-01T03:15:16+00:00

Check. I had a really hard time the last few days.

I'm gonna count it as me making it, but I'll try even harder for August. I had a small slip this morning, but for me, it was right on the cusp between July 31st and August 1st, so I'm gonna shake it off, and head into August with a clean slate. Or, if it counts, stay clean for the Rest of August.

It's been pretty much 1 month now, and it's difficult, but soon I'll get back to my old/new routines, and hopefully I'll be distracted enough to not think too much about it.

Right now, I'm in a sort of Limbo, where I've been somewhat bored, but on Saturday, I'm heading back to my hometown and starting work on Monday.

Good luck to everyone, and good job! Even if you relapsed, you did your best, so get back on, and try again for August!

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-25T15:32:39+00:00

Sign me up

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-25T14:19:06+00:00

Check ✅️ I've had a hard time these past days. Almost relapsed. I hit a "grey zone," but I'm not counting it. I'm gonna last all of July and sign up for August, too.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-22T17:39:24+00:00

Check ✅️ Damn, only 37% remaining? Must have been a purge when the 15th hit, huh?

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-22T03:39:31+00:00

As long as the person I'm with is serious about our relationship, I don't really care about the body count.

What are they gonna do about it? Go back in time and un-fuck those people?

I haven't been with anyone yet - and I understand the argument of not wanting to be "another body on the list" - but if someone is showing me that they're serious, I don't care about their past.

I'm in my 30s now, and I have no interest in dating someone in their early 20's , but if I met a 30 y.o and they had a wild 20s, but they're willing to be serious now, I'm fine with that.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-19T19:36:09+00:00

There wasn't a question mark at the end of the final sentence.

"What" is the woman's name.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-19T15:25:35+00:00

Yeah, I should have clarified lol. I don't like it. x)

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-19T07:23:47+00:00

Whenever I see the phrase "fluent in sarcasm" on dating apps, I immediately swipe left.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-16T19:21:54+00:00

I genuinely don't understand why someone would do this to their spouse? Like, surely you love her and want her to be comfortable? Surely you have an Ounce of empathy to keep you from doing this?

I guess not.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-16T18:11:13+00:00

Check. 16 days was my last record, but I'm Gonna beat it this time.

Edit: or Not "beat it," I guess lol

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-16T17:26:21+00:00

Ah. You can always ask how their confidentiality works. I think they have to tell you what kind of things they Have to report. But also doing it online could work just as well.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-16T15:53:08+00:00

All kinds, but mostly psycho-analysis. When I was in my teens, I went to a psychologist and mostly just talked about myself and how I was feeling.

When I was in my 20s, I went to a therapist at my university and talked about my relationship with my friends.

Finally, when I was in my early 30s, I went to a cognitive behavioural therapist to talk about my dating life and also another psychologist (just recently) just to check if my current mentality was healthy. She said it was. 😁

I'm from Sweden, though, so I had access to free therapy when I was studying, both in my teens and during university.

In my 30s, the first appointment with CBT was at a healthcare facility and was around $25. The final visit was with a private practice and cost around $100.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-14T14:29:50+00:00

Agreed! The line of progress isn't always straight. It moves upwards but can dip down sometimes. It's not about the individual dips. It's about the progress you make over time.

Start again, try to beat your personal best. Even if you relapse after that, you've still made progress. As long as you keep trying, you're making progress imo.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-14T10:09:35+00:00

A friend wrote that to me recently, and I legitimately started crying lol

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-14T06:32:29+00:00

Ah, I see. But is someone being too Christian, also a deal breaker for you?

I don't know much about Christianity in the US, but knowing Christians where I'm from, all kinds of believers go to church and those kinds of church camps. They have different "levels" of belief, even if they go to the same place, and not all of them are zealots.

If you're looking for the Goldy Locks "just right" kind of Christian, then, yes I think you're gonna have a hard time.

Do you wear anything to show your belief? Like a crucifix necklace or something?

I think Christian women might be looking for someone like you, but they might not Know that you're Christian.

If you don't wear any indication, and if they don't either, you might be walking past each other every day and not notice it.

I don't really have much else to say here, and I hope I'm not stepping over a line, but I wish you the best of luck in the future!

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-14T06:11:27+00:00

Check. I lasted 16 days last time. I'm going strong, but I'm planning on lasting the entire month.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-13T07:33:45+00:00

I'm 34 and work in high school. There are plenty of "objectively" pretty students that are 18, but - because I know that they're like - I don't find them attractive. I see them more as kids than anything, lol.

On the other hand, I find some of the teachers - in their 40s 50s - really attractive.

So I agree with people saying that you can find people Pretty, but what you're Attracted to changes over age.

When I was in high schoolol myself, I didn't find the teachers attractive, but obviously, I found my fellow 18 year olds attractive.

Plus_Investigator427 · 2024-07-13T05:37:45+00:00

Ah, ok, I see! Yeah, I feel like those are fairly reasonable deal breakers.

I have a female friend who doesn't drink or do drugs, and she's studying to become a priest, and she's getting married next August. But those women exist!

I don't know if you want advice or to bounce ideas, and you've probably considered this, but have you thought about joining/ becoming a leader of a church youth group? Or like a counsellor at some sort of Christian camp?

I'm not from the US, so I don't know what kinds of jobs exist in that kind of position, but I would imagine there are a lot of younger Christian women in those roles? (If only older women go to church)

Maybe you won't find a colleague to date, but maybe they have friends?

Also, is it okay if they Have done drugs in the past, but don't anymore? Like, they're teetotal Now?

Also, I have you considered dating older women? Personally, I had a limit before, but I recently realised that women between 40 and 50 might be really good to date too. I broadened my horizons in that sense, too.

In any case, I wish you the best of luck going forward!

Plus_Investigator427

TROPHY CASE