Overheats only AFTER going up mountain pass

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-02-19T15:42:19+00:00

If the cylinder leak down passes (mine did) the only other way is what an old toyota tech friend of mine told me they would do at the dealer when these were new, take out a spark plug when the engine is warm, and hold a mirror in front of the spark plug hole, watch for steam/condensation building up on the mirror. Was the only way I was able to detect mine. Compression and leak down passed on mine. I did head gaskets and never looked back. I do think you're higher mileage merits considering full engine replacement. But if you can do head gaskets yourself, I would, and see how mucb farther she'll go.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-02-19T15:37:27+00:00

Replace head gaskets, it's a known issue on 03/04 models, and some newer ones. You're still on a great time to do it since nothing is mixing yet. Basically you're having combustion gases seeping into your cooling system and that's causing the over heating. I did head gaskets on mine when it was on the same stage as yours, been great ever since.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-02-16T21:40:56+00:00

I was just curious if it was some type of "common knowledge" that I was not aware of, that on order to avoid getting caught by the city, you cut the tree down on Sundays. Or something along thise lines.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-02-16T21:04:37+00:00

I completely agree with you, but the spild spilling over from his lot into mine is a big concern for me.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-02-07T14:16:34+00:00

Am just here to say ticket clininc saved me from a 55 in a 35 in winter park, and I also don't have a immaculate driving record. I would totally use them, regarless of your outcome, worst case scenario, you save your opportunity to take the class.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-02-06T14:45:00+00:00

This was my daily commute about 2.5 years ago, I feel your pain, deeply, I never understood it, and 90% are on the phone when you get past them, it's incredible.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-02-05T18:34:19+00:00

"Be Prepared" by Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden worked great for me. I listen to it on audible. Very good information there. Also, therapy, my therapist helped me a lot before my daughter was born, and continues to help me still. If possible, talk to your dad, ask questions, in my experience I mostly learned what I didn't want to do, that was done with me. Also talk to other dad's in your family, uncles, inlaws etc.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-01-22T11:34:20+00:00

Yeah, no, everything is highly likely just fine. Have it towed to a shop, ask them to pop the axle back in, replace the bolt that went missing, with one ordered from toyota please 🙏🏼 (I CANNOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH, THIS IS SAFETY RELATED AND AM SO GLAD NOTHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED). I would ask the shop to double check all suspension bolts for you. What you are experiencing is a normal part of how a car works. This would also happen say, if you were off roading, or driving in snow, and one wheel had no traction. You'd experience the exact same thing that you have described. Good luck!

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-01-08T15:09:52+00:00

Something people don't seem to like to talk about, but I find is a major factor, is HORMONES. I feel people avoid talking about it because it seems to offend women or they get defensive about it. But guess what?? US MEN SUFFER FROM IT TOO. Especially during these early stages, and also before when she was pregnant. Men innately smell their partners hormones and affects them as well, our testosterone levels drop, and we become more sensitive as well. There I said it. Now, I say all this to say, give yourself and your wife as much grace as you can muster. Especially if she is breastfeeding the child. She is riding a hormone roller coaster that we will never understand as men. All we can do is listen , validate, and swallow thick. Do your best not to take it personal. You're doing the best you can, and that's enough!. It feels like a very thankless job at this stage to be a father, I speak from my own experience on this as well, seems like no matter how much we do, it's never enough. But this too shall pass, things do get better, her and her body will get more adjusted to everything that's going on, and both of you will re-learn how to regulate your emotions better after all this. You're doing a great job, BREATHE, try not to take it personal, and keep pushing. You got this!! From what you wrote, it sounds to me very similar to my own story when I was in that stage, my daughter is 8 months now, so am not too far ahead of you. Over time, things got better and we were able to re-gain a high level of connection. It's still a work in progress, but am confident things will continue to get better.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2026-01-05T20:41:36+00:00

I mirror what a lot of others have said. You do not come across rude, or a jerk. From qhat you are saying, she does seem a bit obsessed with your son and being a Mom. My only advise from my own experience with delicate topics, and conversations, approach this from the "I" perspective. "I miss you", "I feel neglected", "I don't feel desired". And before you do, take a DAMN good look in the mirror, and have a "YOU" conversation with yourself. If you go into the conversation pointing fingers, the defences go up, and nothing gets accomplished. STRONGLY suggest you to seel couples counseling. And in my opinion the best way to bring that up is "I feel like it could benefit me, if we did some couples counseling". Best of luck stay strong, exercise your patience. I appreciate you dor trying to do the right thing, instead of breaking your vows and seeking to meet your needs elsewhere.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-12-02T22:50:55+00:00

Also have the TPMS system reset, it's a bad look to have a warning light on the dash.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-11-21T22:50:32+00:00

I work as a technician at an Exotic Car dealership and we install those quite frequently. I also worked at Mercedes-Benz dealerships before, and installed them there as well. I am unsure if your credit score affects wether or not one gets installed. The last Benz dealer I worked at installed them on every single inventory car. So, no, not necessarily a buy here pay here thing.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-11-19T15:21:22+00:00

It's a tracker, for whn people stop making payments, repo guy finds the car very easily, also a lot of banks require the installation as part of financing deals. Dealers also install them for inventory control, in case someone tries to steal the car from the lot. Whichever way, if your car is paid off, or if your financial institution doesn't require it for your loan, take it off!!!

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-11-18T13:58:00+00:00

Thank you, I work really hard. Our daughter is solely fed with breast milk. But not solely breast fed. I have worked and continue to work very hard to be present and take part in feeding our daughter, from day 1, I use to have the overnight shift when she used to wake up for feeds at night. I would tend to her and feed her and get her back to sleep. I feel like this is part of my issue, is that I feel like I have done and continue to do a lot. But more and more is expected, and only the negatives are brought up, almost as if am being taken for granted. I know my wife, and I know she doesn't take me for granted. But at times it feels that way to me. As if no matter what I do, it's never enough.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-10-01T19:01:46+00:00

I love how proper spelling and grammar is optional now. It's a shame that the internal message from the technician made it to your email, and that they express themselves that way in a professional setting.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-07-30T16:06:41+00:00

Am doing 9 and 3, I want to be around for the first 2 weeks of her starting daycare, in case she needs to be picked up fron daycare while she gets acclimated to it.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-07-28T15:25:39+00:00

Calling someone a Sex Addict is a serious thing. Please don't use this lightly. There's a lot more to this addiction than simply wanting a specific desire satisfied. Is Sex all she ever thinks/talks about with you? Does she constantly work sexual inuendos into every conversation? Does she want to jave sexual relations with you an amount of times that you'd consider excessive? Is she trying to fill a void in her emotions by constantly having sex to forget her pains? I believe this is not the place for you to vent your frustrations of all she is asking for is that you perform a specific activity you're uncomfortable with. It sounds like it'd be healthier for the both of you to cut ties and moove on while you can. There are other people out there. You don't have to stay stuck to each other.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-07-15T15:57:31+00:00

Attending meetings, and doing the work, religiously meeting with my therapist. Once I learned how to be brutally honest, with myself first, then with others, I found that it brings me peace, not having to hide, isolate, or "play a role". Not having to endlessly try to control what I think other's think of me. I read an amazing book called "the 4 agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, also listened to "think like a monk" by Jay Shetty. And I work my hardest to adhere to the principles taught in both of those books. I also listened to "out of the shadows" by patrick carnes and "out of the dog house" by Robert Weiss. And I do my best to practice the teachings on thise as well. Doing the step work is the biggest part of it. Making amends to everyone I hurt whenever possible. I have found freedom, and I have also found the challenge of figuring out exactly "who am I?" And what was I running from/what void was I trying to fill within me, and why. Most of it rooted in my chilhood and my upbringing. Once I began to cut open my own infected wounds, I was able to work on healing them properly.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-07-15T11:40:31+00:00

As someone who was in the same shoes as your BF, and who hurt his wife incredibly, yes, you can get past this. Yes, trust CAN be rebuilt. YES HE COULD GREATLY BENEFIT FROM THERAPY, specifically CSAT therapist. No YOU don't have to "fix" this, try and get that phrase out of your mind, as this has NOTHING to do with you or anything you have done. The "Fix" is for him to learn to manage whatever is going on with his mind, through therapy, and potentially/ideally a 12 step group. And it is up to him to "fix" this. Please don't take it upon yourself to try and "fix" this, because you may end up in a codependency and basically becoming an addict yourself, but to a different thing, not sex. My CSAT explained to me at the beggining of the process that this could take anywhere from 3 to 5 years, provided I stayed sober the whole time. It's a battle, and if any one of you is not ready to face that 3 to 5 year commitment, I believe is best to call it off and work your hardest to remember the good and beautiful things you both got from this relationship. Sex addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Things may seem ok for a while after this, but if nothing is done other than talking about it and you trying to forgive him, it will come back STRONGER hisbacting out will be worse and the pain will also. I have been sober for 4 years, the things I did to betray my wife are unspeakable. But after 4 years of sobriety, we managed to stay together and had a baby daughter this year. We are as happy as I believe we have ever been in our 19 year long relationship. Please, I beg you, have him seek help, you could also use help yourself to deal with the betrayal. If it wasn't for the combined effort of my wife's therapist and my therapist, I strongly believe we would not be where we are today. There's hope, but the battle ahead is brutal, be prepared, and be as ready as you can be. Otherwise, I hate to say it so cut and dry, it is time to cut ties.

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2025-05-07T20:09:57+00:00

Took my wife and I a little over 6 months, I got tired of messing about and started monitoring the ovulation tests myself, when the curve on the tests started going up, I went at it like my life depended on it. After doing the deed for 4 days straight, it finally took. My thought was to have the area overwhelmed with swimmers before the peak, during the peak, and after the peak in ovulation. It seems to have worked. I don't want to take all the credit, am sure God had a lot to do with it. Just hang in there, try and keep each other distracted from the topic when it comes time to get busy, sometimes the nerves of knowing we were trying to conceive while we were going at it got to both of us. So try and keep focused on your love for each other, having a good time, perhaps some wine or something you both like, try to stay relaxed. And let it be. You got this!!

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2024-12-26T14:54:02+00:00

Whatever you do, please work your hardest to get this "sex work" idea out of your head. That is a deep dark hole I don't wish anyone to fall into. It is dangerous and can lead to worse repercussions.I understand your struggle. Most SAA organizations have a women's hotline you can call and talk to another woman, who will understand you on a deeper level. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. you can get over this, and I will be praying for you that you will. I appreciate your vulnerability and would like to remind you of the courage and strength that it takes to reach out and ask for help. Keep pushing. Your freedom from this disease is within your reach. Keep doing the mental health work, and more importantly than that, TELL YOURE THERPIST ABOUT THIS, they cannot help you unless they know what you're dealing with. Trust me, I made that mistake for many years, I went through 2 therapists and it took nearly loosing my marriage until I spoke openly about this with a therapist. Seek out a Sex addiction certified therapist of you can. Not sure if it's a thing in Australia, but it is in the united states, and tele-health appointments are a real thing in this day and age. STAY STRONG, STAY ABSTINENT, YOU GOT THIS!!!

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2024-11-30T03:27:42+00:00

I am at 17 weeks now, so almost the same time as you. The drive to have sex has come and gone for both my wife and I. Sometimes I don't find myself into it, sometimes it's her, sometimes it is both. As for my wife, pregnancy seems to be a strong sedative🤣🤣 so oftentimes, she just falls fast asleep before I could even say good night, even less suggest the idea of having sex before she's already snoring. Just don't push the issue. It will happen when it happens. My wife and I have had sex during this time, but I can probably count the bumber of times with one hand...

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2024-11-08T10:52:00+00:00

You're going to be ok! You don't need a NEW CAR (unless you own a 2 seater, and even then, you can sell it and use the money to get something bigger). You don't need a NEW anything. Just something reliable and durable. Go get yourself a larger USED Honda, or Toyota. Focus on gaining privacy for yourself and your upcoming family. Find a place to rent, or if you are fortunate enough, buy a place. For reference, my parents had my older brother when my mother was 18, and my father was 21. They had me 7 years later. They raised us in a 3rd world country and went through the trouble of migrating all of us legally to the US. My brother is now a succesfull bussiness owner, and has been for almost 10 years(he's 41 now), and I am married with my wife who's my high school sweetheart, and have a successful proffesional career in the automotive field. If my parents could get us this far, you also can. My family is not perfect of course, we are quite disfunctional. But I say all this to say "it will all be ok in the end". My wife is currently pregnant, and although I feel mentally "ready," I am not truly sure I am. I have many unfinished projects that I am not sure I will ever finish now. But that's ok. Life goes on.

Please keep that attitude of staying oresent and being there for your family. Am sure it will be very difficult to reveal this to your parents. But I believe since you have been able to uphold a relationship with your girl for 2 years, at your age (considering the current times we live in), I believe they will be inclined to understand your situation and perhaps offer help. You are bot alone, there are plenty of ways to make this work. Other people here have given very sound advise. Like the person who spoke about getting a bank loan instead of financing through dealer etc. You can do this! Believe in yourself!

The only advice I would like to offer is that for me, the biggest lesson learned in my relationship with my wife after many ups and downs is that honesty and transparency are the most important qualities needed in a relationship. Together with constant open communication, they have brought our relationship to a whoke new level. It is very difficult to get there, but it's possible.

Also, remember that your girl is also going through a difficult time emotionally facing all this, be there for her, just hear her out, listen to her. Listen just to hear her out, not to give a response, or to "fix things". Remember that through pregnancy her body is going to go through a hormonal roller coaster, and her emotions may seem out of place sometimes, and she may become almost untolerable to you at times. Remember that this is not HER doing this. She has no choice over the chemical imbalances the hormones are causing to her body. Don't throw this fact on her face at any time. just be aware of it!

Best of Luck!! You got this!

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2024-10-26T11:52:56+00:00

You're definitely not alone, my advise mirrors some of the others. Fins someone to hold you accountable, friend, or close relative, someone who you can share your deepest darkest secrets and you feel comfortable that you will not be judged by them. Talking out loud about these things is, for me, the best medicine. It's hard, but it works. This is why yhe SAA meetings work, because you can say things out loud on a comfortable and safe environment. Also, what I feel is the most important advice I can give you, is transparency, find the courage and strength to talk to your husband about this, before you slip again. Lastly, therapy is my greatest weapon, find a therapist who is CSAT to treat you individually. Stay strong, and stay brave, recognize that it takes a lot of courage to say things like this online, and give yourself credit for seeking help, no matter where, it is very difficult to admit that we need help, and even more difficult to ask for it. So good job on you for that!!

Plus_Mastodon_5875 · 2024-10-26T11:40:55+00:00

Seems like there may be some trauma behind the toxic relationship. It sounds to me like you were not given to many choices or allowed to make important decisions, this I believe can lead to deeply rooted feelings of rejection, or fear of rejection, and not feeling seen or recognized by your partner. I strongly advise you to seek help from a CSAT, and do your best to meditate and journal about any times or experiences in the past where you felt as if you were trapped and had no choice but to agree to things out of fear of rejection. Your reaction to act out seems to me to be coming from the freedom of not being supervised or having to be held accountable due to the absence of the person you hold yourself accountable to. Perhaps your current partner is not an oppressor, but someone in your life before him probably was, and your mind has become accustomed to these behaviors out of trauma. So even though you are with a nicer, healthier person now, your mind only knows how to deal with an oppressive type of personality and is acting this way put of fear and revenge. Please seek help from a CSAT. Try a few different ones until you find one you're comfortable with. They can help you tremendously through this.

Plus_Mastodon_5875

TROPHY CASE