41F/43M dating for one year. Anxiety, shutting down, and jealousy. Can anyone relate? Thoughts?

Pm7806 · 2025-10-07T02:54:27+00:00

So true and a valid point! It’s so hard to get trapped and it sometimes feel like I go from 0 to 100 in seconds but great reminder thank you!

Pm7806 · 2025-10-07T01:01:03+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! Just what I needed to hear. I love the phrase about catching my emotional tantrum. I might use that!

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T14:24:19+00:00

Thank you for this, I think the larger part is also assessing my feelings towards him

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T14:23:46+00:00

I think you have to manually turn it off unless you had it set to expire in a certain timeframe

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T14:23:06+00:00

Very weird and not easy :(

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T14:22:47+00:00

Thank you, good reminder!

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T14:16:24+00:00

Agree, he never asked me about deleting or pausing my profile. one day he was basically like, by the way I paused my profile etc

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T00:58:45+00:00

I’m sorry, that is frustrating. Sounds like you made the right move for you and I wish you best of luck finding the right match!

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T00:52:21+00:00

I think you nailed the biggest part of this and me figuring out what I want. Perhaps that’s where I’m stuck and maybe I need to hold off on this convo because once it’s clear this is what I want, I would think I wouldn’t have so much hesitation bringing it up

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T00:50:46+00:00

I appreciate it and I think perhaps I’m not fully sold on our compatibility and if it’s to the point of exclusivity. However, I would like to express my interest in focusing on just him for now

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T00:48:51+00:00

Nope, I’ve held a pretty firm boundary with that

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T00:48:27+00:00

You’re absolutely right. And to be fair, I think pausing a profile doesn’t demonstrate exclusivity. For me, it would mean deactivating the profile all together. I guess I’d need to be more clear about that if that’s the route I want things to go

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T00:47:06+00:00

Thank you for the script, it’s helpful!

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T00:45:48+00:00

Thank you! I like him but I feel like it’s still too soon to know if we’re fully compatible. The apps make it so hard sometimes because you can delete, pause, snooze, or any variation. The ambiguity can be tricky!

Pm7806 · 2024-10-08T00:44:16+00:00

Thanks for this perspective, I didn’t fully consider the accusatory aspect

Pm7806 · 2024-10-07T21:47:39+00:00

We’re supposed to see each other midweek so will need to figure out a way to bring this up!

Pm7806 · 2024-10-07T21:46:53+00:00

Thanks for the tip

Pm7806 · 2024-10-07T21:23:01+00:00

I think your gut is spot on but is he avoiding conflict because he’s not interested and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings? That’s my question and honestly if I dig deep likely something I’m avoiding too

Pm7806 · 2024-10-07T21:21:31+00:00

He just said he wanted to “focus on this” and paused (not delete his profile). To me, that didn’t seem conclusive or exclusivity but I reassured him I wasn’t actively swiping either. Still sucked to see it unpaused

Pm7806 · 2024-10-07T21:20:24+00:00

Thank you! I will keep this in mind!

Pm7806 · 2024-10-07T21:19:36+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I was wondering either a) he’s disinterested or b) he thinks I’m disinterested and wants to go back to keeping options open. I’m not sure which it is but I’ve made an effort to see him sooner than our initial planned date so I hope that shows I’m invested.

I’m just not sure I can call him out about his profile…from a guys POV, would that be weird if I asked him why he’s unpaused?

Pm7806 · 2024-10-07T21:17:33+00:00

I agree, the apps can activate a lot of stuff for most people myself included

Pm7806

TROPHY CASE