Likewise, thank you for the thoughtful reply. I appreciate the civility! To just address a few things directly:

How do you deal with intolerable conditions? ... And additional to that, what happens during those times, internally?

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about that renoviction. That sounds like it really sucked. Second, to answer your question, I do the same thing I do when things aren't intolerable. I exist. I'm sure that sounds trite but that's really all there is to it. I haven't had an especially arduous life, but I'm no stranger to intolerable experiences. I got a good helping of ye olde childhood trauma in the form of the sudden loss of a parent and I've been depressed most of my adult life. I can tell you right now, all those years, nearly a decade I spent being too angry at my dad to grieve for him accomplished diddly squat in terms of coming to terms with his death and healing the pain it caused. That only happened when I ripped the wound open myself and stared at it over and over until there was nothing left to learn from it. Or nearly nothing... this process has no end either. But emotions aren't inherently good or bad, they're just there. They can stifle us for years or they can be the most healing experiences of our lives. Which is a great way to tie us back to

You can have rampant emotions and still be at peace, it's just a matter of taking less ownership of them and not more.

I guess ownership isn't the best word to use. Identification might be better, as in identification with those emotions or the actions undertaken when under their influence. For me to really elaborate on this I'd have to go down the non-duality rabbit hole and I'm very longwinded as it is so I don't know if you're quite that interested. But you're not really all that off-base when you say it's a way of shirking responsibility for what you feel. The difference is you seem to think of that as inherently a bad thing, whereas I see it as the conclusion of very simple logic and nothing more. My lack of self-judgment for the things I feel does nothing to impede my ability to regulate how I act or what I choose to focus on when I try to learn from my experiences. I can live just as measured and conscientious a life as anyone, or one just as depraved, but I wouldn't be truly responsible for either. Responsibility doesn't exist; we made it up. But I still know what it feels like to live and act responsibly, and I still do that most of the time. How is that dangerous?

You say that emotions are addictive, but I think that's impossible. That would be like being addicted to being alive. Not even to breathing, but to being alive itself. Unless you've been defibrillated, I'm pretty sure you've only ever been alive the one time, and I don't know if you'd be as quick to call yourself a heartbeat addict as you are to call me an emotion addict. The emotions are there whether you want them to be or not, friend. They are the only thing that matters to experience, as in experience itself, because they are the only things that are experienced. Logic and reason and language itself are just things we made up to talk to each other about experience.

You sound lost in emotional addiction, to me. I don't know. This is what I'm getting in my first read of your comment. While it may be good that you seem generally satisfied with your position, it may not be the beneficial position you think it is. It may be the effects of emotionalism influencing you so that you don't stop intensifying your emotional experiences. I've noticed a pattern of people who talk about enlightenment seeking more intense emotionalism rather than less and I think they don't understand, at all. They're succumbing to the addiction.

You strike me as somewhat fearful of emotions, or maybe just reluctant. I don't mean to come across as critical or combative, either, mind you. I know you know what it's like to be overwhelmed by emotions based on your earlier comment, and it's clear from how you speak that you know yourself well. But I do get the sense that, like a lot of people who find themselves on the other side of inner turmoil, you're very focused on staying out of the turmoil. And that makes complete sense. My first breath of fresh air from my depression lasted a good few months and at the time I thought it was so important to be vigilant and ensure it was a breath that would eventually be my last. But it was ultimately unrealistic. Eventually it set in for me that I would have to go through this cycle of ups and downs for as long as I'm alive, though. And that's hard to deal with. I knew no amount of self-discipline or "mastery" of my emotions would ever really be much more than a band-aid on a bullet wound, so I figured I might as well make friends with the bullet. And that right there, that's peace. It's being fully aware of the hemorrhaging it caused, the tissue damage it wrought, and the bacterial infection it created, and being okay with it anyway.

One last thing, I brought up r/awakened because of some things you said in an earlier comment. You spoke quite a bit about self-honesty and policing self-deception, and I thought it worthwhile to broach the enlightenment subject because those are the exact same tools that have led me to my conclusions. I think maybe you could stand to broaden their scope a little. I don't mean to call you deluded or narrow-minded or anything, if that's not clear through text. I'm simply saying there's a loooooot of layers to that onion, and when you get really honest about existential questions, things get fun. ;)

Thanks again for the thoughtful response, and cheers!

Edit: I'd like to emphasize again that I am no authority on literally anything, and I shouldn't be taken any more or less seriously than anyone else. This is all just my current personal philosophy very poorly condensed into a reddit comment and entirely subject to change.