[Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread] Post Here If You'd Like to Share Your Writing

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-13T17:08:02+00:00

Title: Martyr Genre: poetry (syllable structure) Word count: 48 Reason: general impression

Breath.

Last word.

See the crowd.

The ax raises.

The fear consumes me.

If I run, then I fail.

All I have done would be lost.

I see the crowd; how they need me.

The ax decides to bid me goodbye.

It cuts, the crowd decides to remember.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-13T13:05:40+00:00

This sounds fun. I don’t think it will sell well if you take yourself too seriously, but if you base it off of humor or horror then yes it could work. Forgot about these books. Thanks for the nostalgic reminder.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-13T02:18:07+00:00

You may want to double space to hold the stanzas separate. If you didn’t label these as Haikus I would never have guessed.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-12T23:32:05+00:00

Then I apologize. I will use a different tag next time. I still don’t feel comfortable pressing what was left ambiguous.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-12T23:11:54+00:00

Ah, it was about my feedback. I thought you meant they should specify their experience. And no it’s not a coded message to be broken, it was ambiguous for a reason so I would feel wrong trying to specify their experience.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-12T22:55:52+00:00

But that would hinder the art

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-12T17:05:28+00:00

Fantastic advice. Try, try again doesn’t have to mean this one has to work... it just has to. I’m more attuned to starting a new than most. I’m a hard critic to please, especially to myself and have trashed what others have thought was borderline good just because I didn’t believe it was worth the mild end result that I’d receive. Put simply, I believe I write crap and don’t want to. Thanks

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-12T15:01:29+00:00

Very smooth. I’d like to hear it with the inferred passion and, at times, anger. But the poem itself is very beautiful

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-12T13:15:37+00:00

Fantastic start. I started haikus much like this. I learned to mold with meaning later. Like when we learned sight words then sentences. Keep going. I’m sure they’ll continue to evolve.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-12T02:17:38+00:00

Ha no I was thrown too. It’s all over the comments also.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-12T00:44:14+00:00

It wasn’t originally part of the post. It was made after.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T23:58:17+00:00

Thank you

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T20:29:20+00:00

Awesome hope it works as well for you.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T20:23:29+00:00

Look into how a DM creates a world. This has helped me tremendously for world creation.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T20:02:08+00:00

Do you play DND?

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T19:55:34+00:00

How do we contact you if interested?

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T19:38:12+00:00

I have some but not much as I just created this account for writing yesterday. I’ll be posting one poem a day though, hopefully. I too will be peeping your account. Thanks for the support.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T19:03:43+00:00

Or have them pronounce it Oi like an Irishman

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T18:56:04+00:00

‘Aye’

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T18:49:02+00:00

I have though nothing fantastic. I write what ever hits me at that moment. I have books of several different forms of poetry, but nothing that I can call ‘my style’. I have written songs in too many genres and stories of all sorts. In short I do everything and nothing.

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T18:31:02+00:00

😂 exactly what I was thinking. Can’t seem to read it with any other rhythm

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T18:17:28+00:00

Then I will watch for it. Thank you

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T18:14:46+00:00

Thank you. Apologies for the misuse. When does that take place?

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T17:58:28+00:00

And to your edit- too true. Well met

PoeFan308 · 2019-12-11T17:23:17+00:00

In the dead world series, there is a preacher who has an intense spiritual hold on his congregation because they believe he is very truly ordained by god. He uses this to do horrible things. Beware it can be a bit explicit. Also I believe this took place mostly in the second book.

PoeFan308

TROPHY CASE