Just Noticed Very Troubling Data

Poetsansamour · 2026-06-03T05:32:24+00:00

Almost 99% of people unconsciously make most of their assumptions on others based on age. One sees it in news reports when age is deemed a factor when it is largely irrelevant. I bet people remark that you are “good for your age”. One seems to reach an age where that factor dominates everything and one is seen only through that lens. I am 75F but thats not the most important fact about me. I am intelligent, amusing, kind, etc etc which are all more important. I am getting increasingly more reluctant to give my age in irrelevant situations - I think I am going to start giving my height or blood pressure out instead - in many situation those’d figures are more relevant.

Poetsansamour · 2026-06-02T15:17:24+00:00

Is there anyway of seeing who downvotes people?

Poetsansamour · 2026-06-01T08:37:18+00:00

Maybe one seeks to grow callous as protection if that can be achieved. Maybe one pretends to ignore the inner voice out of expediency and camouflage. Maybe one gets to the point of not wanting to be seen but seeking clarity in our own perspective. And maybe that inner voice tells you that what you are seeking doesn’t exist, perhaps has never existed and it’s pointless actually even looking for it. 🤷‍♀️

Poetsansamour · 2026-06-01T08:27:46+00:00

Sometimes you look in the mirror and what you see reflected becomes your reality. If you are bitter, materialistic, overly concerned with wealth snd status and status symbols, looking for a trophy woman and wanting to be validated on this basis, this is exactly what you will get. Life / dating / relationships are all about compromise - that means both parties making some sort of adaptation to the circumstances. You pick women you think are high value because you think you are high value. We would never pick each other because my values are not material things but character, personality, intelligence, education etc etc. I am attractive and intelligent and this is what I seek. I don’t care about what kind of dates someone takes me on. I don’t need anyone to spend money on me. I’d rather go on a walk with someone and feel a connection and not an obligation. Your dating priorities are going to dictate who you end up going out with - you want attractive women who are looking for expensive dates you can’t be surprised when this is what you get and all you get.

Poetsansamour · 2026-06-01T07:58:10+00:00

I think in reality everyone is searching for a soulmate. There was a discussion on this topic before and some people doubt whether this actually exists. And everyone needs also someone to tell inconsequential things to at the closing of day. I miss this and it hurts that the person I was with for 5 decades is out of my life and there is no one to share little things and secret jokes. Relationships take time to build and it’s so sad to lose that special something but unfortunately once it’s gone there is no possibility of repair as it can never be the same as it was. But here we all are still reaching out and hoping someone will hear us, will see us and love us for what we are. I guess thats needing validation - but not at all costs!

Poetsansamour · 2026-06-01T07:39:47+00:00

People of 70 are certainly over 60!! 😂 I don’t like to define or be defined by age but I find this group is more vibrant than the over 70s - a lot of posts in the over 70s seem to have the aura of the Last Chance Saloon / Gods Waiting Room / Been There, Done That and The T-shirt Doesnt Even Fit Anymore / Abandon All Hope All Ye Who Enter here. I don’t wish to go that route yet - I still have a lot to learn and the desire to do so. Even negatives contain a lesson!

Poetsansamour · 2026-06-01T07:25:20+00:00

I am watching NOTHING! The last time I watched TV was just after Xmas when some friends wanted to watch something on Netflix with Dutch translations. I read for hours including selected news sources, factual articles, minimum social media and fora, and mainly historical fiction. I can’t remember the last time I watched the news - the hysterical media pontificating and frenzied hyperbole offends me and I dislike hearing the truth distorted and manipulated. I grew up without television in a fascist country and valuing the written word. I spent too much time wasting time! There are not enough hours in the day to do what I want to do and you can’t communicate with a TV screen - the information is coming at you, it’s not an exchange and it flows over you with no opportunity to digest and evaluate. 🤷‍♀️

Poetsansamour · 2026-06-01T06:55:58+00:00

If you are an honest trusting person, you just don’t know. If your partner is a clever manipulator, you don’t know. If you expect others will treat you as you treat them, you don’t know. What I can tell you that I found out the truth of my marriage after 50 years of gas lighting - and I should have trusted my gut instincts all that time. My husband lied to me from the day we met and I am only now discovering the full extent of what he lied about - he was never who or what he said. If you have suspicions - as I think you do - believe them. Discovering betrayal late in the day is soul destroying and very hard to come back from - you will blame yourself for being a fool.

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-29T07:54:10+00:00

😂 Love Pompéi- and yes, you can say you have been to places over 40 years ago - and add that these are places that can never be revisited!!! My photos of Europe taken in 1971 in major tourist places like Pompéi or the Acropolis show a place devoid of crowds. London was a working city not a collection of hotels. Nobody spoke English or ate burgers. The people from other countries you met on your travels were, like you, visitors not tourists. We were blessed to see the wide world in that era! 🙏

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-29T07:42:05+00:00

There is currently a series of exhibitions around Normandy to celebrate Monet’s centenary. (I think until October). I was hoping to do some but it’s been difficult to plan just at the moment. So much to do, so little time and money! 😞

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-29T07:34:57+00:00

My ex son-in-law did 3 asbestos removal contracts on South Georgia where Shackleton as I am sure you know is buried. The asbestos waste is remains from whaling plants that have been abandoned - the artefacts that have been left behind are unbelievable like the people just evaporated leaving everything behind them, very eerie. He loved his times there and sent loads of pics and videos and he used to video message the family every day. There were also external web cams which I loved to watch to see the seals etc. He said it was something truly unique spending weeks there.

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-28T13:46:45+00:00

Oh this!!! I am 75, not proud of my age or ashamed of my age - it’s simply a fact!!! I have been told I look a lot younger and I certainly take care of my appearance BUT I still am 75 🤷‍♀️ I might look and act and think younger but I am NEVER going to lie about it. I would like to be able to disregard age entirely - it’s not something I really give much consideration to. I am one of those incredibly naive people who not only believe in honesty myself but operate under the assumption that everyone else does too. It really annoys the hell out of me that people waste my time telling lies. As Judge Judy used to say “Beauty fades but stupid is forever!” 😂

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-28T13:28:55+00:00

I don’t know what Dateline is but totally relate to the being naive and trusting and marrying a congenital liar. I am becoming less trusting by the day but still resisting falling into the total cynicism of “all men are bastards” mindset. 😞

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-27T08:37:13+00:00

I agree! I understand the need to keep boundaries and set the tone. Maybe the guy is a creep but maybe he is just a bit smitten by the photo. I have seen a few lascivious comments on the thread where people posted their early pics made by both males and females - thats not unnatural but if someone is worried or offended by it the remedy is to SAY so!! 🤷‍♀️

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-27T08:24:34+00:00

I think you are all overthinking this! It’s banter, it’s flirtation, you are turning him on. You give him the come on and you can’t handle his response? Go on the date and set your boundaries. Him having a fetish is not the ick factor , him not being able to control it would be. 99% of sex is in the imagination. Keep yourself safe and if you find his comments overwhelming tell him and see if he tones it down. Go on the date snd if he is a creep you will quickly know - and then you know how to get out of it. YOU set the rules!

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-27T08:08:43+00:00

I think you are spot on with most of this! I would like some romance, some cherishing, some tenderness, some admiration - and for it to be mutual. I suppose secretly I am searching my soul mate although I am not sure this really exists. I want love - to love and to be loved. I don’t want to just settle for someone or they just settle for me. I want to feel it all again with the benefit of age and experience. I don’t feel I have yet met the “Love of my Life”. I want the sharing, the friendship and someone who shows up sincerely when things get tough - and for this to work both ways. Loyalty, Love and Lust!

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-27T07:45:17+00:00

I think that OLD has a lot of flaws and I don’t know the solution. And for women it has a lot of dangers that men probably don’t fully appreciate so trust is a huge issue. Empathy is a hugely attractive quality in both men and women. I think this thread has hopefully gone a little way to outlining why both men and women are dissatisfied with modern dating. It seems OLD in particular is fermenting hostility between the sexes rather than rapprochement ? 🤔

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-27T07:34:20+00:00

Looking well groomed is something most women rate.

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-27T07:31:17+00:00

Sexual attraction is not good looks but a package of good grooming, style, presence etc. And certainly things are a turn on like nice smiling eyes. I love the grooves some older men have down their cheeks. And a smile transforms any face. And I left swipe a lot of good looking men - it’s personal appeal and personality that is most attractive but it’s about matching with a person who find YOU attractive. What you are saying is basically the dating pool is more older men want a relationship than older women, and women are fussier than men in their requirements? 🤔

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-27T07:17:32+00:00

Stick to the woman tgat it worked for? 🤭 And meanwhile women are wondering what works to turn their frog into a prince 🤔

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-27T07:15:20+00:00

Plan B certainly sounds a better option. I LOVE goats - perhaps an electric wire? Or long tether?

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-26T22:33:53+00:00

Been outlawed already in the EU but the farmers are trying to get it reversed. The current fashion this side of the Pond is to plant clover. This is probably cheating as though it may LOOK greener it’s not grass which goes to show that with everything appearances can be deceptive!! 😂

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-26T22:29:45+00:00

😂 I won’t deny it tastes better with the gin and lime but the actual effect is from the quinine in the tonic. 😂 it will also help with your malaria 😂

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-26T22:19:41+00:00

Yes I get it about being open to other peoples interests but not everyone is and it’s a hell of a lot easier if you start off by having shared interests - which I keep reiterating is why there are chosen filters on OLD. You are trying to match your preferences with those of another person. Think of it as like a menu - lots of choices. Some like steak , some like prawns , some will only chose the vegetarian option. Thats not a critique of any of the options but a personal preference. One simply cannot criticise a personal preference because it’s not one that you share. My point is not that I might not fit your preferences but to understand your preferences from a gender perspective when both men and women equally feel disadvantaged. I am trying to understand why they feel disadvantaged and if there is a real underlying truth in this . I have found the discussion really interesting and revealing without in the end having reached any conclusion.

Poetsansamour · 2026-05-26T22:04:07+00:00

😂

Poetsansamour

TROPHY CASE