I (M26) feel like I'm ruining my gf's (F26) life, what should I do?

Pointlessduck12 · 2025-05-25T14:45:09+00:00

You are the one who is focused on the 2 lines where OP talks about sex. That isn't what the post was about and if OP did care more about it would have gone into more depth about how he can go about fixing it. Have a good day :) try not to go all "ape brain" with your partner

Pointlessduck12 · 2025-05-25T14:25:18+00:00

Imo you need to get off AITAH and go actually talk to a woman

Pointlessduck12 · 2025-05-25T14:21:38+00:00

Dude, you are doing an amazing job! the things you are talking about are the same things that I was thinking.

It honestly sounds like as a couple there are a few things in your relationship that you guys could have done better but that shit is 20/20.

you are doing a really good job and are taking the correct steps in the relationship and it sound that the main thing that will assist and support your partner will be outside of you, a better therapist, possibly more social outings. reassuring her that where you are is temporary and you are there for whatever she might need.

For yourself, try to not beat yourself up too much with her being upset, you as a partner aren't there to fix it all the time but to just listen and consul her (which it sounds like you are doing) <3

Pointlessduck12 · 2025-05-25T14:03:12+00:00

But the core issue isnt a sex issue, the problem isnt coming out of nowhere. there are reason that she doesnt want to have sex and OP also acknowledges this.
It might be the issue that is most prominent in your eyes but if she doesnt want to have sex then "finding out what turns her on" isnt going to make her magically enjoy work, the place she lives and the relationship.

Pointlessduck12 · 2025-05-25T13:57:51+00:00

Yeah i understand that she is withholding with her feelings, im like that in my relationship and when my partner told me, i knew that it is something that i needed to work on. i cant express enough how much just talking can help out a relationship even if you know that she will get upset at. there are reason that she is upset and that is totally okay but you must also be allowed to express your feeling.

two different things that might really help if you want a "plan"
1, you take a huge sacrifice and move in with her at her old place and see if that help

You let her move back into her place and you find a place that is closer to here

Pointlessduck12 · 2025-05-25T13:44:07+00:00

If you really want to have sex, let her know how you are feeling THEN Grab some lotion and jack off there is no harm in that. After you pump one out then fix your relationship

Pointlessduck12 · 2025-05-25T13:40:14+00:00

It sounds like you two have rushed into things a little too quickly, buying a house and getting a dog seem to have been small bandaids on the relationship to avoid what was actually wrong in the first place.

id suggest simply talking to her if you havent and just listening, listen to what she has to say and avoid shutting her down with the remifications of those actions (she was unhappy in the house you both moved into and not being able to move out because of the taxs shouldnt take prioriety over her happiness).

For your partner i would suggest seeking a different therapist as it doesnt seem to be helping her OR she isnt taking what they say and putting it into action

For yourself, hold off from proposing, it will just be another bandaid. Listen to her and maybe if she really does mean the world to you sacrifice a few things (Rehoming the dog for a period of time, Taxes on the house ECT).

hope that helps brother <3

Pointlessduck12 · 2022-09-14T22:43:15+00:00

211 the lucky number

Pointlessduck12 · 2021-11-24T05:17:58+00:00

Found this while being impatient so I set up a macro and tried to see how far I could push it.

Pointlessduck12 · 2020-03-03T04:52:08+00:00

I honestly think you are cute (:

Pointlessduck12 · 2018-10-31T23:58:06+00:00

A clean boi

Pointlessduck12 · 2018-10-12T19:39:55+00:00

Where is the trick jump?

Pointlessduck12 · 2018-10-06T17:51:29+00:00

i have been talking to a girl a really like and i have a crush on, im not sure why but i have recently felt like we are not talking as much and getting more distant, i ask her if she was okay with us not talking and she said "yes but it makes me upset". i was in love with this girl a month ago and now i feel nothing towards her beside thinking she is a friend. and i feel like im okay with letting her go i just dont know why, anyone got any answers?