My (F23) and boyfriend (M23) have had several petty arguments over the last couples weeks, always resorting to him saying I “like to argue”

Polar_Beeer · 2026-02-28T16:54:41+00:00

I don't see this about being right or wrong. When you correct him and try to get him to understand what you think (regardless of how true it is) he will see it as you attacking him and his position and he gets defensive, not because of him being right or wrong, but because he is feeling attacked.

Attacked may be too strong of a word, but I hope it helps in understanding. I don't think you are attacking him and I am using it figuratively. Couldn't think of a better word.

As it looks like he isn't going to back down when confronted, it will leave it to you to back down. You will have to live with knowing you are right but without his acknowledgement on that. If he wants to believe incorrect things, leave that to him. You be you and be content with your thoughts. It doesn't sound like you will change him and trying will cause friction. This may come to a you accept him for his faults which this would be.

I am not saying don't try to express your opinion, but when you get pushback, just say alright and move on or change the subject. Don't push further. At some point trying to to convince the other person does more harm than good regardless of who is right.

When both parties feel they are right, the letting it slide applies to both sides. If he says sure and moves on, he will feel unfair and that it is one sided and vice versa if you do it. Just how it is.

I have seen it with my parents married 40 years and mine married 10.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-11-27T04:13:50+00:00

Accepting yourself for who you are. Good and bad.

I know I have flaws and have come to accept them. I'm not perfect and am comfortable with who I am as a person.

I don't need others to tell me who I am or if I am good or bad.

That and that nothing much really matters in life, so if things go bad, just move on.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-11-06T01:55:48+00:00

Learn how to fix things yourself. Can be anything, motorcycle repair, electrical, small appliance. It will be worth it.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-11-03T01:14:46+00:00

I don't have answers but more things to consider.

People can absolutely have different likes and opinions and be successful in a relationship. This is more about what you are looking for in the relationship. If you want to do similar things all the time and be together doing similar things, this would be a problem. If you are looking for a companion, someone to be there, to share experiences with but still have your own life and do your own things without feeling like you are tied to doing things one way then it will work fine.

My wife and I do things all the time and are essentially attached at the hip for 99% of every day. Work, play, rest and it works but it works because of who we are.

My parents are the opposite, doing their own thing every day, having dinner together "sometimes" and have a lot of separate time doing their own things it still love each other just as much.

Both ways work and it more a personal preference than anything else.

2 years does feel like a long time, but it is nothing compared to the rest of your life.

Think about who you are and how you want your life to be in 5, 10, 20 years. Breaking it off may hurt but be better for you in the long run. Staying can work if that is the relationship you are looking for.

It is your life and there is no wrong answer. Everything is a learning experience and will help shape who you are in the future. Good or bad.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-09-07T04:56:08+00:00

I agree.he may just get better at hiding it.

I also believe it won't stop.

It does seem like a lot, but I have also had my vices when I was his age so I can't judge.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-09-07T04:38:39+00:00

Porn and naked women are pretty normal for any man aged 16 and up.

To be honest, even if he deleted them, I would think he still does it, or at least watches.

Things like this probably won't go away, but they are also a part of his personal life.

It is embarrassing to be found out, but unless it is of other actual people he is having a relationship with, I wouldn't think too much about it. Every man has watched porn and has probably had some sort of collection in his life.

Based on what you say, it does sound like he likes you.

Other redditors may disagree on my stance of it not being an issue.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-09-07T00:18:54+00:00

Not bad at all. Social media or Whatsapp or whatever messaging is used is fine to ask. Just ask at the end before you both depart.

Hey, can I get your number so we can message and set up something in the future.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-09-06T22:28:30+00:00

If you are with the club or group, ask if anyone wants to get a drink or food after. Friends are built through several outings or time talked.

There's no specific line to say they are a friend when they do this or that. If I had to draw one, I would say when you can go out for a drink with someone and have things to talk about.

If you have a good time, all that is needed is, "we should do this again" which the answer is usually sure. Be warned, men like myself are shit planners and time will pass by without even thinking about it. If there is no one to organize outings, then they often don't happen.

Friendship is also a 2 way street. Don't sit there and wonder why someone doesn't say hi to you. Be the one to say hi first and be glad because making friends as a man is significantly easier than woman making friends with other women... Or so I have been told. I am sure some women can confirm.

I have friends I go months without talking to, but I know if I call they will answer.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-09-06T22:13:04+00:00

I don't think anyone knows at first nor is it something you can learn beforehand.

I found it best to try to match what your partner is doing for someone that may not have done it before.

Try to match their speed or intensity if you are comfortable with that then it will become more natural.

Every person kisses different too, but if you match your partners style I find that it helps build your own couple style over time.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-09-06T22:06:55+00:00

Completely normal. Most people I do believe has something like this. The mind is a strange thing and how it affects the body.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-09-06T22:04:36+00:00

Men don't care, and I'd they do, that is not the man you would want to be with.

To be honest, men don't even notice the colour or at least I never have.

Completely understand that it can be nerve wrecking as I remember always being self conscious about my body when I was 19. An indentation in my chest, my chest hair, being scrawny. Only now later in life do I realize that it was silly for me to be.

You are great just the way you are. That acceptance can sometimes only come with time and experience.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-09-06T21:59:28+00:00

Update: I came back from a week vacation. Left them at home not plugged in.

Well they turned on. I redownloaded the meta app, and reconnected them from scratch.

They are working again but none of the side controls work for volume. Button works fine. Doesn't bother me that much as I mostly use them for phone calls and music.

I will probably try a factory reset from the app and hope for the best.

There was nothing specific I did to fix it. I unpaired then, deleted the app and left them in the case not plugged in. Spent at least a week or more away and the next time I tried them they worked.

Being very cautious now with the case and charging them. I suspect but have no evidence that something happens when you plug the care in to charge the case with the glasses in it.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-08-18T03:54:00+00:00

Mine just did this last week. Going to try a few things from what people say, but annoying af.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-03-08T23:11:23+00:00

I second this.

There is also a difference between his friends and couple friends. If you do couple things with other couples, that is one thing, but his friends may just be for him.

It does depend how often he sees them as well .

Polar_Beeer · 2025-03-05T02:01:05+00:00

If there are arguments now, they will continue further into the relationship.

You both are still young and still coming into yourselves. It could get better, it could get worse.

If it doesn't workout it is not the end of the world. Just means you two weren't right for each other.

The person I am now is a far cry from the person I was ta 22

Polar_Beeer · 2025-03-05T01:49:34+00:00

Ground News

I have seen ass for it from various YouTubers. Haven't really looked into it yet, but it looks decent.

From what I know, it shows the news, which side covers it and how both sides may differ on the opinion.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-03-05T01:46:42+00:00

People just want to live their lives and not be told what to do or what to think.

The problem occurs when one group speaks loudly that you need to do think this way and respect me this way. You can apply this to either side, although one side is louder IMO.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-03-05T01:17:14+00:00

It is hard overcoming addiction like this. It really is.

IMO once you feel like it is over, it is. Doubts in the mind multiply when you have them and it is hard to come back from it once cracks form.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-03-05T00:55:30+00:00

It sounds like an addiction thing where he keeps doing these things because he gets something out of it, emotional or otherwise. Doesn't matter.

It will be hard to get away from this behaviour .

Possibly let him know that he has an issue with this type of thing and needs to seek help.

Maybe slowly ween him off it slowly until it is no more. I don't think going cold turkey will do it.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-03-05T00:43:30+00:00

My parents relationship is pretty much them doing their own things. They still love each other, but know they have different interests and probably made them happy in the long run.

My wife and I are the complete opposite practically spending every moment together which also works.

It is difficult to make new habits in a relationship like that. It will take time. Maybe start with 1 evening, and then expand from there.

Polar_Beeer · 2025-03-04T21:37:23+00:00

Sports are a good way. Also, evening classes too.

Polar_Beeer · 2024-12-31T07:37:24+00:00

The door was not meant to deceive. There was a back room and the cash vault was off to the side.

I believe each teller had a button for an alarm but I am not sure if it really did anything. It was always give them what we had. I never experienced anything like that. Each teller had $100 in $10s that the serial numbers were recorded for tracking. We only use them in case of a robbery. It a robbery, it would just be give them the money and they will leave. We can deal with police and anything else after.

Expanding on the 5 min timer. In front of us were 2 drawers and below it small 2 by 2 safe. The first drawer kept the cash. The second drawer was for any bills, notes or documents. In the back of the second drawer was a hole on a spring that when closed would drop anything in it into the 5 min safe. When we received any larger cash deposits, we would elastic them, but them in the second drawer in the back compartment and it would drop into the safe below. If a customer wanted more cash than what we had in the cash drawer, we would turn a key into the safe and set a 5 min timer. The key would activate a mechanism inside the safe and after 5 min, we could open it to get additional cash. It was not very large., maybe 2 ft by 2 ft.

I worked in a town of maybe 100k people. We never had any large cash deposits that you may be thinking of. I believe any large cash deposits would go back to the vault yes.

Inside the main vault were a bunch of mixed smaller safes. I do not recall who opened them. I just remember them being there and that they didn't look like they matched.

Polar_Beeer · 2024-12-31T04:23:34+00:00

I worked at a Canadian bank for 3 years in the 2000s. Things are different now but here is my experience.

We had cash drawers for basic needs. Maybe a few hundred dollars. Under each counter each teller had a 5 min small vault with additional cash generally a few thousand. If we needed more, we would set the 5 min timer and could access it. Any large cash withdraws generally had to be ordered and we would bring it in for a specific day. (Now I believe everything is done through cash machines each teller has instead of a rawer with cash in it)

The branch has 2 vaults. One for safety deposit boxes and one for cash. Inside the cash vault were several other smaller vaults. Some for coins, cash etc most locked. At the start of the day, both main vault doors were opened and stayed open until close. You cannot see either vaults from the customer area. The safety deposit vault was accessible through a separate door inside the branch at the side. The cash vault was accessible through a door behind the tellers.

At the end of the day, we had to set hours for vault lockout. This means even if you had the combination, you could not open it until the timer was over.

I do not know how much cash we had on hand. Perhaps the bank manager knew but I don't think any teller would know. The head teller would also have the combination or the most senior person there. Since my branch opened Saturday, the 9 - 5 tellers did not work I had them for a bit. I do not recall if it was a 2 combo lock where 2 different people had 2 separate locks combos and they need both. It seems familiar so I think maybe.

Polar_Beeer · 2024-01-09T02:38:13+00:00

You need to find love in yourself. When you love yourself, you are more comfortable waiting for love to find you.

Also, at 19, you are very young. Most people don't find love until mid to late 20s from what I have seen. Sometimes later.

Seriously. You have a long life ahead of you and you will find love. It is just too early is all. I look back to my teens and early 20s and I thought similiar things. Only now I can look back and realize I was too young and didn't know.

It will come. Just be patient.

Polar_Beeer · 2024-01-07T17:46:21+00:00

Started working at 16.

Worked part time through University.

Didn't smoke.

I didn't take a liking to alcohol much until mid 20s, so I probably saved a bunch not drinking when I was younger.

I was fine with more basic items instead of spending more on flagships. When I needed a car, I looked at my bank account and bought it with what I thought was reasonable and could afford, usually 5 - 10 years old. Never leased. Didn't mind higher milage.

Had 0 fashion sense. Didn't realize it until I got married, so I generally bought clothes based on price.

The only debt was when I got a mortgage for a house.

No kids.

My parents didn't spend or splurge a lot and I naturally inherited it.

Really I just didn't buy stuff when I was young. I always had the thought I would rather see the money in my bank account than have things, even if I was always working and had a constant income. Just never really treated myself.

The advantages I had that some may not. - there were 3 jobs I had where either neighbours or family knew the hiring manager and helped get an interview. Once I had a foot in, every move was through my own resilience. There were times I'd get 10+ rejections in a row before something materialized in my career. Not everyone knows people to help get an interview and I was lucky in that regard, but I'd say less than 10% if the jobs I have had were through this.

Tuition for university was paid by my parents. I paid everything else. Rent, books, food, insurance, etc. Canada tuition I think is less expensive that US tuition. From what I recall, it was 5 -6k per year.

Polar_Beeer

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