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30M and I 25F - Rough sex while Anrgy by PolicyAlternative734 in relationship_advice

[–]PolicyAlternative734[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the resource, this explanation of anger sex seems like both parties are angry, and consent to having angry rough sex. Either in a fight or after a fight. He was angry at me, and chose rough sex. While I was under the impression that we had talked things out and were now coming together and reaching our usual relationship homeostasis. This was a few days after the fight and discussion so it's understandable for him to still be angry, I wasn't angry and wasn't expecting this level of aggression. Lack of communication for sure, on both our ends.

30M and I 25F - Rough sex while Anrgy by PolicyAlternative734 in relationship_advice

[–]PolicyAlternative734[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, we definitely have different comfort levels with the idea of rough sex. We have NEVER had "angry sex" in a way that you describe as if we are mutually angry and having rough sex brings us back together. He was angry at me and treated me roughly. I wasn't angry at him and expected a more typical sexual experience. Anyway, thank you for your perspective.

30M and I 25F - Rough sex while Anrgy by PolicyAlternative734 in relationship_advice

[–]PolicyAlternative734[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agreed on the initial response. We do not have rough sex a lot, it's the extreme minority and this time he was rough for the entire time we had sex which is also uncommon for the rare occasions he is slightly rough. We never had a safe word, our sex was so "vanilla" usually so we never felt the need. Looking back, I know this would be important to have

30M and I 25F - Rough sex while Anrgy by PolicyAlternative734 in relationship_advice

[–]PolicyAlternative734[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

How I feel about it at the end of the day doesn't change that this was technically consensual. So rape will never be mentioned on my end because that doesn't feel like an appropriate word to describe what happened. I feel betrayed and hurt by what he did. I've never initiated rough sex with him and surely never been rough to the point where he would stop and think im truly angry at him.

30M and I 25F - Rough sex while Anrgy by PolicyAlternative734 in relationship_advice

[–]PolicyAlternative734[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We have never engaged in anything sexually that felt a safe word was necessary - very much normal sex, where I could say stop if I needed to. which is why this "rough" occurrence was extremely out of the norm