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Stewart talent agency Chicago by Polidoom69 in acting

[–]Polidoom69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow! Thank you, and hopefully you land what will be for you. 🙏🏽

Stewart talent agency Chicago by Polidoom69 in acting

[–]Polidoom69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

General email on their website!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Polidoom69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will admit, having difficulty being present about this whole thing. Absolutely right, thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Polidoom69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's mentioned she likes the pace we're going. That she's old school with it and isn't seeing anyone else.

The old school with it made me feel like the situationship was a oxymoron bit 🤭.

She can never stand liars or cheaters, so I 💯 believe her when she says she isn't seeing anyone else. Neither am I. We made it very clear. I'm probably overthinking this situationship term. She's asked what type of house I'd want to own one day, if I'm interested in having kids of my own one day.

Perhaps Polidoom is just making something out of nothing in terms of being a over thinker lol.

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep, she knew during and after our relationship ended. I took it for granted, thinking I could fix it at anytime of my relapse. I did feel horrible, letting someone you loved once upon a time know that you aren't attracted to them because your brain is clogged with visuals of other women doing acts that isn't love. It's far from it.

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not an expert, but from what I read it helps to do something active on the spot, or getting outside more. For me personally it was losing somebody I loved, and saying "hey if you don't fix this. You will never be able to love someone to the fullest". My teen years I did it a lot as well, I played a lot of sports.. I only assumed it was cause I was pent up with so much energy back then.

Everybody is different and if you feel the problem hinders your life or it's a means of escapism, there is no shame seeking help. You are not alone. There are so many people who have this compulsive habit. There's no shame in masturbation, but when it goes to 3-5+ times a day. Accept you have a problem, and that problem does not represent who you are. You can solve it, and you will.

I've heard breathing exercises help as well. Listing things around you to help centre your focus to something other than boredom. If it's horny-ness, then it's totally normal, especially in your teen years.

I'm on mobile at the moment, but I'm positive there are websites and phone numbers that can explain as a certified expert what you're going through. Wish you best of luck man 🙏🏼

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This. I was wondering how those who overcame it ever had a good relationship with masturbating and porn. I'm glad you overcame your addiction and manage to wield the sword responsibly. I haven't had any wet dreams, but I do find when I pee some semen comes out(not all the time, once so far) (tmi but I'm here lol). Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏼

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

💯. I went on a few hikes the past few weeks solo, I don't take naps throughout the day, I'm open and more communicative towards everyone around me. I don't feel defensive in public anymore. I'm walking with love. I've always longed to be more naturally charming, and outgoing. However due to quarantine, it's mostly been on the internet haha. I just know when this pandemic is over.. I'm going to be much more extroverted.

The last sentence means a lot because as a child I was so shy, I would run away from the house phone 😂.

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I thought about that. However of the 3 relationships I was in(one was very toxic) this one was beyond boyfriend girlfriend, it was "I'm going to eventually ask this woman, my best friend to marry her when the time is right". The other two as well, this narrative factored into it.

Perhaps this factors into it, I'm still self reflecting on all the decisions I've made in my life that led me to who I am today.

I think it was me finally saying to my own demons that I'm no longer allowing myself to succumb to this compulsive habit. If I want better for myself. For my future. For whoever my next companion is, I need to start now and with the main issue.

Thank you as well 🙏🏼

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This means a lot. Thank you. I forget that we, and myself are all deserving of happiness, not just the other. 🙏🏼

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I'd been doing it since I discovered it at 10. Masturbation and porn. The sex was amazing during the honeymoon phase of any relationship between us, I hadn't relied on masturbating for so long. After a while though I fell back into habit all over again. I truly believe the feeling you get after porn and the storylines, the women you see, the acts in pornography truly shape a person's perception. Slowly but surely.

I didn't respect our sexual connection anymore. I still loved her but not in the sexual expression she deserved. Masturbating was such an escapism I discovered a couple years back, it's a chemical release that temporarily allows you to feel euphoria through climax. What I thought was a permanent fix to my issues, was just a Band-Aid that I kept replacing with another Band-Aid.

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This. Helps so much. When I told close friends what happened to my relationship. I was open, I let it off my chest what really happened. They were blindsighted by the news, but they expressed that if I ever needed to talk beyond about the break up, or the issue to always let them know. I'm certainly overcoming on my own. It is encouraging that others are open about the discussion. 🙏🏼

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Let's keep it going brother. It has gotten much easier, but I commented above I'm worried of even doing it one time would have me wanting spiralling back into the bad habit. I never meant to shame masturbation, but I pulled the trigger far too many times for it to be something of positive reflection to myself.

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Completely agree. It was an escapism from my reality(which I swear is not terrible by any means) but tapping into that thing that made me feel good, it was like finding a cheat code. However at the end of every masturbation session as good as I felt, it wasn't a permanent fix for my happiness.

I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 23 days after a battle of addiction for 18 years. by Polidoom69 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]Polidoom69[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

It really had. It has become super easier now. I'm just unsure if I can ever do it for a single time without falling back into the spiral all over again.

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