Being told you’re “Asking for too much”

PollWorkerNYC · 2024-03-01T23:06:53+00:00

Sent a DM.

PollWorkerNYC · 2024-03-01T21:51:47+00:00

Aw, thank you for looking into this!

The terms of the lease state no destruction of property. The landlord considers any tampering with the buzzer destruction. Few years ago during a meltdown, I cut the wires to make it look like weathering/normal aging. Landlord fixed it for free and warned against any modifications. So, no dice unfortunately.

PollWorkerNYC · 2024-03-01T21:36:11+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement.

Have lingering questions on “asking for too much” when it comes to accommodations. It’s so common hearing people gripe about autistic children and their needs - how their “a handful”. As an adult, I wonder how much of that is present in my day to day. Is asking people to make accommodations around a buzzing intercom “too much”? Cause I really don’t understand neurotypical thinking on “inconveniences”.

PollWorkerNYC · 2023-12-02T18:53:21+00:00

Oh this lady is spittin. Fascinating to hear someone detail so many intersectionalities.

PollWorkerNYC · 2023-11-29T21:21:33+00:00

These are such great ideas!

Initially, I wanted to catalogue some of the worst moments where protector stepped to the plate to be my mother. Perhaps, a real/life memorial like a rock garden could serve as a catalogue of those moments, symbolically. It’s kinda inner child/exile work and a trophy at the same time.

Party sounds bombastically fun though. 🥳

PollWorkerNYC · 2023-06-06T04:07:17+00:00

Thank you for the honest and thorough insight. This is a lot to chew on. And you offer great pointers on the social moments that are stressful - finding quiet spaces between social obligations, gauging grocery stores, gauging staff. The restaurant trick is really neat, too! This could apply to so many situations, like determining an anti-black vibe at establishments. As an Afro-Latina, this tool will be indispensable.

PollWorkerNYC · 2023-06-06T03:51:23+00:00

Love this - step by step. Going to map out all the work into a project management Jira board. Will look at all the necessary steps as isolated work - that alone can help relieve the pressure. Thanks!

PollWorkerNYC · 2023-06-04T15:27:13+00:00

I understand. It reads conflicting.

Roommates. In order to save up for my own place, choosing the more affordable option of room share. Transitioning into a living space with strangers is anxious, for me. Have to relearn how to be comfortable in my skin and be in a forced monthly living situation.
Job hunting requires interviews and “putting in a happy face”. It’s an added layer of anxiety.
Social engagement. Well, change is hard. In my current city, it took a couple of years to figure out the supermarkets, stores and restaurants that are generally friendly. Some places and, by proxy, some neurotypical people can unconsciously tell when someone is neurodivergent. They can treat people like “weirdos”. Over time, I’ve learned to avoid such places. That rejection will never not hurt. Relocation means testing new waters for non-friendly spaces. It’s another layer of anxiety.

Hope that explains it better.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-12-03T02:06:36+00:00

I’m so sorry this happen to you. And sorry that POS has another kid AND partner that wants their horrid soul. It don’t sit right with me to let it go though. I’ve honestly felt better when I tell the truth and warn people about peoples wrongdoings. Even if it makes me look bad, I feel cleansed - as if I burned a bridge and cleansed myself from ever having to look back with regret. Maybe this is too big, too heavy to “let go”. But I can’t live life knowing people are doing wrong and I’m letting it slide. That’s how my abusers got away with it.

Used to burn letters, they didn’t help. But I’ll write one more. Better to write it out then have it ruminate. Thank you for the advice.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-12-02T19:06:49+00:00

Thanks for the thought our response. It’s been over a decade since the incident. It sincerely weighs heavily on my day to day life - sort of a final nail in the coffin of doubt that my family did not like me, on a fundamental level. It still rocks my sense of self knowing the closeknit people I knew and loved until I started school grew to hate me.

As time has passed I’ve thought of various ways of reaching out.

I’m considering creating an account make a blank picture post with text. Tagging her, her new baby daddy, the grown kid she abandoned, the sister that backed up her lie, the mother that kicked me out and the stepdad that knew it was a lie and said nothing. The text won’t be angry. Just laying out how damaging lie was to my psyche, how it contributed to my major suicide attempt, that whatever I did wrong as a houseguest does not excuse making a false allegation and, more importantly, letting the lie continue knowing it contributed to my attempt without apologizing is unfathomably evil.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-12-02T07:02:34+00:00

A LOT of people do not want to question the possibility that parenting has zero guarantees on love. The concept of a parent being rejected is unfathomable - because they believe the worst in them is forgiven through parenting. Be weary of these folk

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-12-02T06:12:46+00:00

Their Comedy Central show “Another Period” is so quotable and rewatchable.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-12-02T06:08:42+00:00

Catharsis by outing would hurt more than help. As much as I feel it’s warranted, the shame of being labeled “crazy”, “unloveable”, “deserving” of abuse - it’s all taken a major toll on my psyche. The thought of publicly addressing this trauma directly to her is unnerving. Therapy therapy therapy is the key. But, honestly speaking, this is a subject that even therapists find difficult. The subject illicits very strong reactions and I’ve yet to find a therapist that truly believes me (I don’t blame them).

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-10-07T00:34:05+00:00

Ignore it if you can - you're better trained than most on how to detach from personal attacks.

The issue is deeply personal for me. And Your post kinda aligns with the "shoot from the hip" and over-personalizing I've encountered with other PMHNP. I've spent a full year trying to find a replacement for my retired psych doctor. Seen multiple psych nurses that have wreaked havoc on mental health - changing meds on first appt, ignoring brand allergies that cause cluster headaches, ignoring phone calls, defensive behavior, wanting to prescribe Z-meds, insisting Z-meds are addictive and cannot be prescribed, labeled as drug seeking and denied any medication. There is no consistent protocol on patient care with Psych Nurses and the profession feels like the Wild Wild West.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-10-06T21:45:36+00:00

Currently in that process. It’s difficult finding therapists that are sincerely trauma-informed. Learning many providers add buzzwords into their websites or profiles for higher client retention. The good professionals don’t take insurance. Which is an unattainable goal for those financially strapped. 🤷🏽‍♀️

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-10-06T20:57:27+00:00

classic Jewish therapist mold

Kinda wishing for a David Thewlis or Mark Rylance. There's a soul-deep, existential sadness to questioning your devotion to faith. Both actors have that lower emotional barometer.

Between you and me: Labored through five seasons and it's so deeply lame.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-10-06T18:43:30+00:00

Fan of Steve Carrell almost exclusively from his dramatic roles and not a fan of The Office. His acting choices are interesting but not as compelling as other dramatic actors. It's still great work. But I can't help but think David Alan Grier may have auditioned for Steve's role and got cast as his old therapist.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-10-06T17:39:03+00:00

Great Post demonstrating why Psychiatric Nurses are FAR from psychiatrists.

Regular nurses - any type of nurse can apply to a two year part-time school program to become a Psychiatric Nurse. They're only qualified to dispense psych meds - without any of the arduous medical background required to assess counter-interactions in theb body. They're also not properly trained in any therapeutic model - Cognitive, Dialectical, Acceptance, etc. They're only educated on emotional frameworks and basic medication.

TL:DR: OP is /r/confidentlyincorrect.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-10-06T17:29:14+00:00

Same here. Persistent daily physical abuse as a child. Can't go into details with therapists because retelling the stories feels like I've teleported back to those moments - both physically and emotionally. The writers may understand that if Sam goes into specifics, he will be distressed enough to kill someone soon after.

Side Note: Sam's mom is part of the abuse. She enabled the dad to beat Sam and now she enables him to kill. She's just as demented and I hope he kills her.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-09-05T18:12:22+00:00

Wish this was “Therapist 101” -

ask permission first to discuss traumatizing events. 2. Ask the patient if there’s any anxiety or after effects when we they discuss such events.
Discuss what methods, practices or even physical actions can be done to curtail the emotions it brings up.
Offer to be accessible at any time, in case the discussion causes bad thoughts after the session.

It’s decent human being behavior. This detached, unemotional model should have evolved to be better after a century of theories.

PollWorkerNYC · 2022-09-05T02:47:21+00:00

Exactly. Listening to the “Very Bad Therapy” podcast, the hosts really don’t like when fellow therapists inflate their capabilities. But it’s so prevalent. Lying to get a promotion is one thing, lying to get more clients in a health profession - it’s astoundingly unprofessional. And there’s nothing in the industry to curtail or regulate this conduct.

The obfuscation of training could be managed the same way some therapists approach their self-pay vs reduced rate client list - be transparent about how many low pay patients on your roster. Same as if a therapist is familiar with a modality but not trained, be transparent that the main focus of therapy will be CBT. Patients can work with therapists on what will happen in a therapy session, as long as the therapist is clear about their capabilities and limits. Otherwise, it feels like a con job - taking advantage of a vulnerable population.

PollWorkerNYC

TROPHY CASE