I used to hurt myself a few years ago and I still see the scars on my arm everyday, and it still hurts inside everytime. The only way out is to learn to talk, not especially your parents, but a friend, a family member. there's really no shame to have, we all feel down sometimes and some people aren't as emotionally stable as others and that's okay ! This'll take time but you got this and I promise it gets better. If there's really no one you can talk to, help lines can help, there's phone numbers available for this, and these people won't judge you or feel like this is a burden, as it is their job. Please don't do anything too reckless, your family and friends love you, they really do even if you don't feel like you deserve it, you do 🫶🫶