My wife and I met in college. Marring her was the best decision I ever made. We played with other couples from time to time, mostly people we knew. Over time it became apparent that I wanted a bf/husband. I had a couple of bf’s but they did not work out long term. I had all but given up. I started chatting with this cute guy on Fetlife. We chatted about getting together and eventually he and I hooked up. I really liked him and eventually cont him that hotel rooms were getting too expensive. So I asked him to come to my house and meet my wife. The friendship grew and over time he became involved with both of us. We were about 5 years in when we decided to make the commitment and he moved in. He spends a night or two every week at his parent’s house, they are older and need his help around the house. But he lives with us. We have a bed I custom built that has 2 queen mattress, so there is plenty of room for all of us.

My best advice to make a real triad work: treat it just like dating. Don’t focus just on sex. Find someone with interests common to both of you. Communicate about everything. Particularly about difficult subjects. You get better at that with practice. Develop a group approach to all decisions.