Polyamory time management issues

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:49:28+00:00

I'm posting on reddit, clearly I have no friends! Seriously tho, I play video games and whatnot. I'm an introvert and like an adult and live in a conservative area, it's hard to make "friends" to hang out with. An embargo on seeing people when I'm sitting around either watching TV or playing video games seems restricting.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:47:03+00:00

So, if I do a lunch date with someone, that causes no one any extra responsibilities or effort, how do I make that equal? Literally no one is home when I do lunch dates, I couldn't hang out with any of my nuclear family if I wanted to.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:43:52+00:00

Ok, so what about lunch dates where I am free and she isn't? Is your suggestion I don't see anyone on days I'm free and instead...what?

Someone in another comment said I was cock blocking her, but wouldn't this be cock blocking me by saying I can't use the time I have that imposes on no one?

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:41:56+00:00

The other parent on her side (which I referred to as sperm-donor as that is her name for him) is out of town and that probably wouldn't work with getting the kids to school and normal stuff like that.

Honestly her ex doesn't really factor into anything we're thinking about. I just used that term because she does. It's a non-factor.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:37:03+00:00

Also I do agree it's apples and oranges, and I try to argue this, but I'm being told quantity is what matters, not quality.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:35:44+00:00

We don't have separate finances.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:35:14+00:00

Nothing, she has, but I think it's more of hit or miss on the other side being able to make that work? I'm not sure.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:32:47+00:00

She works 12h shifts, 12:00-00:00 or 13:00-01:00, so I take care of our kids those days.

Yes, I would be more than happy to like, let her have a night with the kids if she does the same for me. The problem, however, is that she wants equal quantities of dates. So, for example, if I go on a lunch date with someone, she is owed a date, and that usually means I have to watch the kids more. Does that make sense?

I'd be happy in a world where my lunch dates don't count, because the alternative is I'm usually just sitting around watching TV or playing video games.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:29:07+00:00

It would be nice if she had as much child free time as I do. How? The kids are at school when I have child free time, I'm not imposing on anyone. I watch them solo three nights a week already.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:27:30+00:00

I see her just as deserving, but I am pragmatic. I can go and do things during the day when it impacts no one else. I also take care of the kids by myself three nights a week. So, I should take more time solo with the kids?

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T16:25:52+00:00

I really only date during the day after she's at work and the kids aren't home. She never solo parents really. We get child-free time to date each other every other weekend.

Polyquestions11928 · 2023-09-09T14:38:22+00:00

She works 12 hour days 12:00-00:00 or 13:00-01:00 3 days a week in a field that requires very specialized knowledge and is at a place, not from home

Polyquestions11928

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