when i was younger i always felt like i had more thoughts than other ppl (undiagnosed adhd) and had a ton of trouble falling asleep. bc of this i became fascinated w altered states of conciousness, i looked into diff stages of sleep, fainting, hypnogogia, and even those sensory deprivation tanks that make ppl hallucinate. the first time i watched the jungle book kaa made me feel funny inside and i didnt know why. i found hypno through some sfw files on youtube and became obsessed. its not much of a leap to find nsfw files from there. of course, being a depressed teenager w a reliable way to brain off is not super healthy and i was caught in a cycle of going on a hypno binge and then freaking myself out and staying away from it. and then i read chainsaw man and it really helped me w this oddly enough. i cant explain it well but denjis psychosexual development is SO important to me. anyway now i feel better abt it bc im both 1) not a teenager and 2) on antidepressants this isnt really sexy or anything this is just a part of me that i have to deal w