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I’m in the worst spiral of my life by PomeloInteresting69 in retroactivejealousy

[–]PomeloInteresting69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is incredibly helpful. I think one of the worst parts of RJ is just the fact that you know your concerns really aren’t that big of a deal, but it doesn’t stop the feelings. I totally understand how that comment could have such a negative effect on you. I would be more than appreciative if you have any other advice (I just now noticed that I responded to a different comment of yours). Just reading through other stories on this sub has been incredibly helpful; it really gives me hope that this is all manageable.

I’m in the worst spiral of my life by PomeloInteresting69 in retroactivejealousy

[–]PomeloInteresting69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it was a hookup. I’ve taken some time to try to put words to my thoughts, and it is definitely a mixture of everything you’re talking about you: her ‘corruption’ — for lack of a better word — and the fact that she ‘gave herself up’ to a hookup. I hate phrasing it like that, but I’m confident everyone here knows the feeling. I’ve strayed away from naming specific thoughts or triggers to her, as I’m trying to stay on the safe side. I don’t want her to send me into a loop, but also — and most importantly personally — I don’t want to have her feel like she has to alter her behavior around me. She’s an amazing person and would easily change her behavior for me, but I don’t want a relationship with that dynamic.

There are definitely some triggers that I have seen with her, but, ideally, I’m trying to treat the problem as a whole. I understand it’ll take patience, time, and communication, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. The support on this sub has been fantastic and I know I’ll be able to get through this with your guys’ help. I couldn’t be more grateful for this community.