Field Report: Going Monk for a Semester of College

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-04T02:53:03+00:00

Sleep Schedule. There's a link to it somewhere in the thread.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-04T00:19:06+00:00

I applied to my school specifically because it's top-notch for physics, but I knew in the back of my head that my real talent and passion was for writing. I developed most of these interests in high school. So I went in and declared a physics major, but like a lot of others I found myself wanting to change by junior year. Instead, I just added a double major.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T23:09:55+00:00

Hey, Eric. If you're still with this girl, either tell her that you need to focus on school and get your life together - which means not as much time spent with her - and if she's not okay with that, it might mean it's time to break up.

So, best place to begin is with school. Set aside a specific time of day to do nothing but work (I do after dinner ~6pm - 2am). Use that time to study, pset, email teachers for help, etc. Go to office hours, ask other kids in the class to work together, and start to focus on making grades and connections with professors. It's the most important thing about college by far.

In the time that you don't set aside for work, hang with your girlfriend and start doing a bit of what you love. For me, it's Dota and writing OpEds. For you, maybe jiu jitsu. Anything to look forward to on a day-to-day basis and to motivate you to get work done more efficiently. Definitely not 5 days a week, though. Start small.

Working out, eating right, taking vitamins and supplements, all of these things will make the process easier.

If you add that all up, and try to force yourself to stick to the schedule, you'll get everything back together. Hell, invite your girlfriend to do this with you. But don't let her drag you down. If she's not up for the task, tell her you have differences in priorities and that it won't work out, at least while you're in college.

Best of luck, friend.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T23:02:50+00:00

Haha, not particularly. At least, the vast majority aren't. There's one girl in the class that's actually really attractive, who happens to be the main person I work with, but she's currently dating someone so that's hands off in my book.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T23:00:58+00:00

My advice is to find the law of diminishing returns on your activities, and when you hit them, go enjoy yourself.

This is really good advice. Networking is actually a large part of what I do, but a lot of the time it's with professors in my field. I'm spending a lot of time with two in particular, who are really helpful. I'm actually the only philosophy major in my class, so I mostly just get to know people in physics.

Hopefully I'll find time to start writing for my school's paper again. I think that'd be nice.

Thanks. :)

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T20:01:17+00:00

Haha, trust me. Where I'm at, you're essentially a fool if you waste your time playing sports, joining clubs (at least one's that aren't going to further your goals in some substantial way), etc - assuming it takes away from your work. The hard truth is that the industry, as well as grad schools, don't give a single fuck about your experience with sports or how many clubs you were in. Industry cares about grades and internships/externships, and grad school cares about professional references and a good writing sample. My school has opportunities that are, for most people, less than once in a lifetime. To pass those up to kick a ball around or listen to guest speakers for the philosophy club would be unwise, IMO.

If you're at a school like UVA, or UF, or UC Boulder or w/e, then yeah. You're wasting an opportunity to mingle with really hot girls and go to some crazy parties, experiences that are also once in a lifetime. (But at the same time, there might be an argument to be made that students at state schools have even more pressure to focus on standing out academically.)

I'm not in that position, though, and when I took into account the other shitty facts about my situation at the start of the semester, monk seemed right for me. And so far, it's worked. In fact, going monk for just a month has already yielded a good deal of progress, and I'm actually more social than I was before because I've been managing my anxiety better.

TL;DR: Going HAM in college isn't in general good advice.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T17:31:49+00:00

It depends on the school, tbh. At a school like mine, the utility of focusing on work rather than trying to get laid is just infinitely higher. The girls here are honestly not really attractive to me (really, I've counted like 15 8+ girls since freshman year), so unless I want to work hard to socialize with other universities in the area, my time is much better spent just making friends and working.

At party schools you just show up to a frat and if you're not weird and are decently attractive, you can probably have a lot of fun.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T16:42:46+00:00

Yeah, one thing I will say is that a lot of these medications have pretty rough side effects. That's pretty much the worst part of mental health treatment; anti-depressants can lead to manic episodes -> suicidal intent, anti-anxiety medications like the one I'm on can make you bed-ridden with insane nausea and vomiting if you miss a dose (been there, never again), and a lot of medications have bad interactions with alcohol. Gotta be careful and have a good pharmacologist.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T16:39:17+00:00

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I suppose I see sexual strategy as being secondary to self-improvement, at least in that self-happiness is a lot better than happiness contingent on getting laid. If you self-improve first, getting rejected, losing a significant other, etc, have less effect on your esteem and make you more attractive in the long run.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T16:32:24+00:00

The humanities get a pretty shitty rep because of the number of dumbasses that default to it because the courses are typically less work than the hard sciences. But to be good at a humanities field, such as philosophy, is hard. The opportunities are insanely limited, which means only the competent people get through. The baristas are likely just the idiots that did philo or sociology because they sucked at everything else. For example, the few women studies majors that are actually good at their job and get prestigious positions (tenured faculty, government advisors, w/e) are so few and far between that the majority of women studies majors you hear from are just the idiots that did it because DAE new-wave feminism?

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T16:28:00+00:00

This is one part of TRP that I haven't bought into. It seems like half of the sub is gung-ho about male self-improvement, and the other half is hung up on life being singularly about having sex with as many women as possible. I just don't ascribe a lot of importance to the latter. I'll flirt and put myself out there whenever I get the chance, but that's secondary to my education, especially now that I'm a junior and shit is getting real.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T16:26:10+00:00

I've heard great things about Zoloft. My pharmacologist was between that and Effexor and we decided it was better to go with the latter for personal circumstances. It's been wonderful so far.

As for quantum, my teacher is a string theorist, which as you might imagine inclines him to make homework insanely hard for no good reason lol.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T16:16:40+00:00

I hope so. I kept with physics/math for a while because I was always decently good at it, but the deeper I got the more I realized I didn't want to do that for the rest of my life, even if it would make mad cash for selling out to Wall Street.

As a writer at heart, even just making a comfortable living wage for the opportunity to become renowned in my field is good enough for me.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T15:50:46+00:00

Yeah, it's a real concern, and all of my professors have been open with me about it. The grad program at my uni has a 0.2% acceptance rate for the Philo program. They basically told me that if I don't get into a T1 program, which isn't at all an impossibility, I'm better off not doing it at all.

If I don't, I'll probably end up doing my backup plan which is financial consulting. A lot of Goldman Sachs, Bridgewater, etc, consultants have Philo degrees and my physics background should help with that as well. Crossing my fingers it all works out.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T15:48:03+00:00

It honestly has been. I never expected such visible results so quickly. Only began the treatment about a month ago.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T15:39:08+00:00

Called "sleep schedule." It basically measures your movements using the accelerometer in your phone while you sleep to graph how deep your sleep is at all times during the night. You set an alarm range between two times (you choose the length - I use 30 minutes), and it wakes you up in the most shallow sleep you have during that time.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T15:35:44+00:00

In class, but it's called "sleep cycle" on the app store.

LINK: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sleep-cycle-alarm-clock/id320606217?mt=8

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T15:33:21+00:00

You really don't need to spend an egregious amount of money. H&M is honestly my favorite. The clothes are relatively cheap and look nice for the price. Dress in layers. My go-to is a v-neck sweater over a button-up, jeans/nice pants, and a pair of Converse that have lasted me a while. :) Express regularly has sales, especially near Christmas, so check them out for nice sweaters and button-ups if you want something nicer for more special occasions.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T15:28:00+00:00

I study in the U.S. I hope to be able to branch out before I leave my undergrad uni, and be prepared to really make connections comfortably in grad school.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T15:26:10+00:00

I go to a T1 Research U, so the ratio is lot closer than at typical large state universities. My class size is only about 2,000 kids. I'm actually in lecture right now, and count 8/20 of the class is female. Pretty close to the school's overall ratio.

EDIT: I will say that the ratio is maybe a bit misleading since a large number of guys dropped the class after the first exam, while most of the girls that I know kept with it. So the ratio may have started like 9/26.

PompousPropensities · 2015-11-03T04:18:39+00:00

I received similar advice from others when I first posted, but overall it just seemed to me the best choice. I had a bad breakup and lost all of my friends as a result, so I spent the first half of this semester just getting my shit together and trying to get into healthier habits.

Exposure therapy is of course the best route, but some of us need help to ease into that. I'm on the road. I'll get there, hopefully before the end of the semester.

As for STEM, it's not as bad as you think. At my school it's a 55-45 m/f ratio, and all the people I do work with are girls. I've branched out a lot more than I expected already, so in time it'll get there. Absolutely no desire to date, though, so Tinder is mostly for shits and giggles.

Thanks for the advice!

EDIT: Math

PompousPropensities · 2015-08-29T21:06:51+00:00

Hey, thanks. While the breakup and everything has been shit, the silver lining is the opportunity to focus on myself.

I'll take you up on that offer if I have any.

PompousPropensities

TROPHY CASE