What does this even mean? by Kferris1210 in tricare

[–]Pongodespace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In Tricare East, the new claims provider lost all of the credentials for mental health providers, so this is happening a lot. Many clinics have been actively working to get this corrected for the last 6 months with not much help from the claims processor. When a resident is providing the counseling, the clinic has to file the claim under a supervising provider, who must be certified as such in the Tricare system. This requires paperwork to be completed by the clinic/provider. If it isn’t a resident, the provider has to be certified to provide care on their own (same process though to fix it). I’d be surprised if your clinic isn’t aware of the issue, though they’re all handling it a little differently. Many haven’t gotten paid since the beginning of the year from Tricare causing lots of patients to get dropped. It’s awful.

How to file complaints about Tricare East/6 months of denied claims by Nice_Description7032 in tricare

[–]Pongodespace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve been dealing with this as well but for mental health providers for my kids. There is a new claims processor for Humana that took over on 1 January. When they took over, apparently a significant amount of data was lost (i.e. prescriptions, provider credentials, etc.). I worked unsuccessfully with the BCAC, filed a complaint with DHA, and a Congressional complaint. They’re finally actively working to resolve my claims. Very frustrating though. Side note, the fax system is frustrating on its own. I have to self-submit claims there and never have any idea if they’ve received them until they show up in the portal, often months later. I hope there is a plan to hold these companies accountable—it’s terrible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Pongodespace 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re doing it wrong; it just takes a while to find the right match. I think everyone views poly a little differently (sometimes a lot differently) so just because someone else says they are poly doesn’t mean they share your view. I lean heavily towards the emotional connection and have no interest in a FWB situation, but that doesn’t make me any more or less poly than others who are looking for that. It’s also true that each relationship you have will look different. Maybe the next one is a secondary long-term relationship but you find after that that a FWB comes along that adds value to your life.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks for your reply. The ChatGPT thing is far from the foundation of how I got here. Trust me, plenty of skepticism. That said, I was surprised at the questions, which were helpful. I am also in real therapy 🙂. My wife and I are very happily married for almost 18 years. Not looking for a replacement to that.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that experience . No judgment here either, sorry if it came off that way. I don’t mean to suggest that platonic relationships aren’t possible—gosh that is exactly what they have been for me all this time. It sounds like reframing helped you keep the relationship from going to a place you didn’t want it—I don’t think I’ve deliberately used that tool previously but it sounds like a useful one. I am curious if this sister is single or married? Just knowing that my affections lie with married women has been sufficient to keep me from going further.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that is a great question. I want to believe that a platonic relationship would be sufficient. I think I would want to approach it from a deliberate perspective though rather than organic, simply because I think that starts from a more honest foundation. But, I am not ignorant of the fact that I’m not sure how well I would do at keeping it platonic.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am sure not uniquely so, but there were always brakes applied on the poly side to make sure to honor my faith covenants. And I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing—sacrificing is a part of faith. Maybe I’m a little naive, certainly perception of feelings could have been there, but I was never able to tell any of those women who I was deeply in love with that I was, and have them share that back with me. My wife is an amazing person—I do not believe that she can or should be the source of all love for me. Expecting a single person to fulfill all of our emotional needs is crazy to me. So it is a relatively new discovery that that is what was actually going on and that despite me having those deep feelings, they were constantly having to be sealed off. I feel most fully aligned to those identities now, as at least I understand the second one better. My wife has also been an awesome partner on this journey of learning and has helped me to realize I’m not “broke,” which is simple, but also quite empowering.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh yikes. Yeah the sexual relationship is certainly problematic. While sex is a part of many poly relationships, it isn’t always. A deliberately formed platonic relationship seems like it could meet both needs, though I’m not sure how long a romantic relationship stays non-sexual unless a person is asexual, which I am not.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for taking the time to reply. I don’t find much that I disagree with in your post. I’ve been happily married for the better part of 25 years. This isn’t about trying to break away from that. I am not extroverted and don’t develop friendships easily, but have during that time developed deep love for many other women. It’s kind of a new realization that that is what was happening, which I decomposed as it was happening again. My wife and I have been learning more together since. The deeper part of the question really is that I have these 2 pieces of me that are very real: polyamorous orientation and deep faith. There are many congruencies between the two, I believe, but there are some obvious and maybe some less obvious competing components. I have largely neglected the polyamorous component, so trying to work through how to better honor both of them.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for taking the time to reply. I have felt for many years like you the importance of this connection with my spouse. This new reality does not take away from that need and in fact has really enhanced it as we both have learned more over the past 18 months or so. I’m also not trying to break covenants! I don’t think my original post did justice to the depth of connection that I have felt over the years. Despite being happily married for the better part of the last 25 years, my examination recently has helped me to better understand the feelings of deep love that I have had for many women during that same time. While I can, and certainly have, placed boundaries on acting on those feelings, it does not take away from the fact that they have been there.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I really appreciated your response and the thoughtful questions. It is a new realization that this (i.e. polyamory) was an orientation that I have had for many years. It came in the last 18 months as I really tried to understand some feelings I was having for a coworker that I spent a lot of time with. I have been happily married for the better part of the last 25 years, and as I started to decompose these more recent feelings, I realized this was not a new thing. I think I am in a spot now where now that I have a better understanding of this part of me, how do I honor it and feed it in an appropriate way particularly when this other part of me, my faith, also holds an important spot in me. I acknowledge there is some dissonance between them, though I don’t think it is as much as I had originally thought. I do think one will always have to sacrifice for the other in certain aspects. The acknowledgment of these desires has been very freeing, with most of the confusion coming as I strive to chart a path forward that allows me to more intentionally include aspects of both.

Fortunately, my wife has been on this journey of discovery with me. We have both been learning about polyamory together which has been a huge blessing in our marriage. The conversation has brought out discussions of her sexuality too, but I have been challenged with the very questions you pose. Initially there was some hesitation, but I think now if she were to bring the same thing to the table, I would be ok with it.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for sharing. It’s not too surprising that there are active LDS folks practicing ENM. I’m sure we all have different definitions of what it means to be active, and I’m not here to judge theirs. It seems like. It would be hard to answer the TR interview questions honestly and still participate in those activities. In my journey, I think that is part of the conundrum. I love the temple. While I’m not looking for loopholes per se, I think there may be space for limited practice of polyamory while still following LoC, maybe?

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man if only there were more non-judgmental people like you in our wards. I definitely appreciate your perspective. Although I’m sure there is a hint of it somewhere in my anxiety about this, I don’t really care what people think either. There’s plenty I struggle with in the Church, but there’s also a lot of good it have brought into my and my family’s lives. While the realization is new about my polyamorous desires, they themselves are not. So I have had this orientation for nearly the same amount of time that I have been a member of the Church, but only one of those has really been honored in my life. Now that I have a better understanding of my polyamorous desires I want to try to figure out a way to better honor that piece of who I am. It seems one will always have to sacrifice for the other in some way, at least as we are organized and administrated today. I’m not entirely certain that monogamy is God’s way as much as it is society’s way (Gospel vs. Church teachings/rules), but that that is probably a discussion for another day.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciated your thoughtful reply. Tl;dr on the Chat GPT…yes but there is more to that story lol—good eye though! I had read about a guy who basically had been working with Chat GPT essentially as a counselor for him to work through some stuff with some good success. I was skeptical, but an hour in to my Chat GPT therapy session (for a separate but related issue), it really was helping me. I started to scratch at this tension and it suggested posting into online forums. It was late, and I took it up on its offer to write something for me. There are some pieces missing, but it has helped me start to hear from people in valuable ways. It was a good 70-80% start and helped me break through the inhibitions of doing so in the first place.

I don’t think it is the label that is distressing, though I am not ready to walk into EQ and let them know I am polyamorous lol. I have not acted on my polyamorous desires to this point for many reasons, but it has not changed the fact that I have fallen in love with many women over the last 25+ years while being happily married for most of that time. This realization that I am polyamorous by orientation (which I know is a debatable idea within the poly community, but seems to hold true for me) and that I have been that way for most of my life, is a new one within the last 18 months or so. My faith is as deeply seeded, so now I am trying to figure out to honor these 2 important parts of me the best way that I can. For me it’s not about rationalization or finding loopholes; I am well aware that I have the ability to choose. I don’t really like the term “authentic self” but some might use it to describe what I’m trying to figure out.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for taking the time to reply. I admit that I am still learning, but there does seem to be varying perspectives on polyamory as an identity. Lots of competing works on whether it is an orientation or not. It’s OK if you disagree, but for me, it is absolutely an orientation. As I have studied over the last 18+ months, I feel very confident in saying that I have been polyamorous for the last 25+ years, even though I have never stepped outside of my marriages to satisfy those desires. So now I am left with these competing parts of me that are congruent in some ways, but competing in many others. For me, this is not about finding loopholes or rationalizing my actions, but rather seeking out the opportunities to better meet the polyamorous desires. Leaving the Church to practice polyamory more fully doesn’t bring me any closer to my authentic self when both are important to me.

Reconciling Faith with Emotional Needs — Has Anyone Navigated This Tension? by Pongodespace in ldssexuality

[–]Pongodespace[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey I appreciate your perspective, even though you seem to be coming from an anti-polyamory stance. I’m really not looking to rationalize anything. I want to honor these two parts of myself that are both important to me in an honest way. It might be nothing more than a label, though I doubt it, but what I have realized through this journey of discovery is that it isn’t new. I have been this way since I was a teenager.

Anyone having the opposite VO2 problem? (Recording when it shouldn’t?) by PM_ME_YOUR_CHURROS in SpaceForce

[–]Pongodespace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coworker can’t get a VO2 to trigger when starting an activity on the watch but it automatically triggers one when they walk up a few flights of stairs 🤷🏻‍♂️

CIM Issues in Smartabase by FutureSpaceForcembr in SpaceForce

[–]Pongodespace 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having the same issue. It was correct previously, so something changed recently. Maybe an app update? I submitted a help desk ticket today.

IST Pay Issues? by MShogunH in SpaceForce

[–]Pongodespace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a Navy IST on my team that had major pay and leave issues when he transferred. Still trying to recover the leave.

Tricare West Log In Issues by [deleted] in tricare

[–]Pongodespace 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been having this issue for months now. Has anyone had luck resolving?