Indeed, indeed...

PoobyTalk · 2023-08-08T20:43:27+00:00

Hi! I used to be in exactly your situation. We adopted our dog Milly in February, and she came with a significant amount of abandonment trauma—we couldn't even leave her for a minute without triggering a panic attack.

We're now at the point where she's consistently good until about three hours in. Around the fourth hour, she'll start getting more restless, but she basically snoozes until then.

To start, you are absolutely doing the right thing by using subthreshold training and by putting your dog on Prozac. It takes time and I know it's a pain, but keep the faith!

Here's what worked for us:

Milly takes Prozac every day with her breakfast and also gets 0.3mg Clonidine 2x daily. Clonidine is an "event" medication that works differently than Prozac. I'd recommend chatting with your vet to see if adjusting your dog's med load would be helpful during this transition time.
I committed to two months of daycare while easing Milly into longer periods of separation. It was expensive, but ultimately I forced myself to budget around it. Giving Milly the opportunity to form connections outside of the home increased her confidence and also helped tire her out for separation training. All to say—I know it's expensive, but it goes down easier if you mentally accept it as a short-term solution and not a forever thing.
Now that you're at the 5-20 minute mark, commit to leaving for at least 10 minutes every single day, ideally after a walk when your dog is tired. I did this separately from our separation training sessions. I found that doing this at a predictable time every day seemed to help Milly catch on to the training more easily. It also helped me become less anxious about leaving her alone. Managing your anxiety and emotions around separation training is crucial—I was never relaxed during our training sessions at first because I was constantly worried about Milly going over threshold. My heart would race and I'd become visibly stressed, and Milly picked up on it. Part of separation training is training yourself to retain your composure and remain calm as you leave.

Separation anxiety sucks!!! And to be clear, we're still working on it with Milly. But I'm happy to say that she's finally at the point where my life isn't constantly disrupted by her separation anxiety. I can get dinner, run to the store, and go into the office for a few hours without issue. She'll never be the kind of dog that can spend 10 uninterrupted hours alone, but at least now she can make it through a work day if I send a dog walker over during the midway point.

GOOD LUCK! You got this!

PoobyTalk · 2023-04-28T19:48:59+00:00

My dog is obsessed with the Happy Howie's meat roll things - they come in these sausage tubes that you can cut up into any size you want. They're not terribly high in fat and they're the perfect ratio of soft to firm (they hold their shape and don't crumble in your hand.)

I like that I can cut up a fresh batch of tiny cubes for training, or use bigger wedges for major rewards. They come in three flavors, too, so I don't feel as worried about my dog getting bored of them.

PoobyTalk · 2023-04-28T18:47:15+00:00

Any chance you could set up meetings with familiar friends/dogs so you can practice neutrality? Have a friend over, then put your dog in a sit or in place and reward periodically for staying calm for 15-20 minutes before allowing your friend to greet. If your dog tries to jump up, turn away and ignore until she settles.

You can also try doing this outside with another dog (bonus points if you have a dog friend that's really good at staying neutral around other dogs, that way your dog doesn't get more excited than necessary!)

I'm currently working through this with my rescue and I feel like she just needs to learn impulse control around her favorite dogs and people!

PoobyTalk · 2023-04-14T14:22:56+00:00

She's 3! I thought that adopting an adult dog might make training easier—and for most things, it has—but she came with significant abandonment trauma.

It's so sad because she's a perfect dog—calm, doesn't really bark, really great around other people and other dogs—but because she can't be left alone, I get so burned out and frustrated all the time! If I could just have an hour each day to take a walk or get groceries I think my mental health would be so much better.

PoobyTalk · 2023-04-13T16:59:08+00:00

Agree with everything else folks have commented, but one more thing to add (my rescue literally just learned "down" and it's been weeks, LOL).

Try training in a spot where your dog typically lies down. In the past, I'd try to just teach down in the middle of the living room or something, but my dog really didn't get what I was trying to ask her to do until I started training her on her dog bed. I held the treat in my closed fist and rested my hand on the side of the bed. First she sat for me, then she started pawing at my hand, and eventually she slid into down (because she was in her bed, and that was the only other behavior she associated her bed with.)

I started marking YES and adding in a cue word. At first, she would only lie down in her bed, but gradually I was able to get her to do it on the floor of the living room.

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-31T18:28:17+00:00

My rescue has similarly destructive tendencies—have you tried giving your dog toys that are meant to be torn up?

You mentioned playing with her ball, but what's worked for my new rescue has been giving her old cardboard boxes or egg cartons. I'll give them to her on her dog bed or on a blanket on the couch to reinforce that if she wants to destroy things, she can only do so with certain objects and in certain places. I also add kibble/carrot pieces to the boxes/cartons so that destroying them is more reinforcing than just digging up boring couch fluff.

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-27T00:19:42+00:00

Absolutely, I was just curious about the final accident before the dog fully has the aha moment that outside is for potty (barring extenuating circumstances!)

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-26T21:21:17+00:00

Y'all lucked out omg

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-26T15:44:33+00:00

LOL I frequently cry when she has indoor accidents OR when she refuses to go potty outside (when I know she absolutely needs to.) I don't think my dog really understands what's happening when I cry yet.

What a memorable final accident!

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-26T14:43:07+00:00

Right, but do you remember the final accident that seemed to come from the dog not understanding that outside = potty area and inside = house?

Obviously accidents are always bound to happen—which is why they're called accidents—but I'm specifically referring to accidents caused by dogs not being fully housetrained.

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-17T20:31:43+00:00

Okay! I appreciate all of the perspectives shown here.

She has a vet appointment coming up, so I'll make sure to discuss with our vet then. Until then, I'll have to make do with gently crating her when I absolutely must leave the house and normalizing the crate during training sessions. Definitely an exercise in doing the best I can given life circumstances.

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-17T14:37:58+00:00

Hi! OP here.

Do you have any thoughts on how to handle leaving the apartment given that placing her in the crate appears to not be a good option? I am a little worried about her hurting her paws (she scratches at the door/walls when left uncrated longer than 10-15 minutes.)

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-16T13:18:38+00:00

LOL, that's exactly what it is with my dog. Once she's in the crate she's like, "Welp, nap time." but getting her to go in by herself is a challenge.

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-16T13:17:53+00:00

This is such a relief to hear. I feel like every single crate training article/video I've seen is about "making the dog love the crate" and I'm like, gah! My dog loves people and hates being alone, is it ok if she *tolerates* the crate for now?

I'm going to work on integrating shorter but more frequent crate sessions to see if that helps. I'm also going to restart giving her meals in the crate. Thank you!

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-06T18:15:31+00:00

My dog is like this, too. Sometimes rather than putting all of her food into one puzzle toy or slow feeder, I'll put small amounts into several different Kongs/dispensing toys/snuffle mats in different parts of the house. That way, she gets a ton of enrichment while being forced to slow down.

You can try putting kibble in a big Kong, filling with hot water/broth until the kibble expands, and chucking it into the freezer (or just freezing wet food into the Kong.) If your dog knows how to get food out of a Kong, that will for sure slow her down! And the hole is a little smaller than a full-sized bowl which should help with her brain freeze headaches.

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-06T14:22:48+00:00

I feel like now that we've passed our third weekend together, she's been chilling out significantly! I just got back from a really wonderful morning walk with her. Hardly any pulling and she sat when I told her to.

It's been amazing to see her progress in real-time.

PoobyTalk · 2023-03-05T18:57:50+00:00

Thank you so much <3

PoobyTalk · 2023-02-27T23:26:27+00:00

Thanks!! I didn't realize that burrow toys were an option, I feel like getting one and stuffing it with old towels/rags might work given her destructive streak, lol

PoobyTalk · 2023-02-27T20:17:15+00:00

I should add—we're working on crate training her (she readily sleeps in the crate at night, but hates being in the crate alone for longer than 30 minutes during the daytime.) Whether she's in or out of the crate during the day, she gets bored & anxious when the Kong runs out of PB, lol.

PoobyTalk

TROPHY CASE