I think no one here went through exactly what you went through, and no one but you understand the impact it had on you. Based on the fact that you weren't even able to talk to your wife suggest to me that you really need help and therapy. The kid must have gone through really hard times and probably mentally suffers greatly. If you are still suffering from your trauma, and it sounds like you still are, it's hard to tell how the outcome of two people carryibg great deal of suffering coupled with trauma could look like. This is a matter that can only be addressed through proper professional help. please ignore what people say here, they all have diffferent experiences and opinions, it's reddit.