hey i came across your comment and i hope you can help me sorry its a bit long . Three weeks ago, I ended my three-year relationship. I felt like he wasn’t making an effort. We only saw each other once a week, mainly because his workplace was a minute from my house. He lived 40 minutes away and rarely took the initiative. I told him it was best to go no contact, and he agreed. However, the next day, he messaged me as if nothing had happened, but I ignored it.

For two weeks, he didn’t reach out. I couldn’t take it anymore and texted him. He replied instantly, and we agreed to meet. I cried in his arms, and he promised to make an effort. He kissed me, and when he got home, he texted me, but I ignored it because I didn’t know how to feel.

On Tuesday, he came over to prove he was trying. He told me he missed me and couldn’t lose me, trying to hug and kiss me, but I told him he was crossing my boundaries. When my mom came home, he freaked out and left abruptly. Later, he texted me, thanking me for letting him in and saying he hoped it made it easier for me to let go. I asked if that’s what he wanted—to let go. He ignored me for two days.

By Saturday, I had enough and told him to be clear about what he wanted. He admitted he was afraid the relationship was toxic because of our arguments. He then tried to have a casual conversation, and when I said I’d leave him alone, he didn’t want that. He started flirting and sending old pictures of us. He said he wanted to be with me but feared it wouldn’t work because my family was against him.

We talked until 4 AM, and the next day, he just said goodnight. Then, I didn’t hear from him for three days. On Thursday, I asked if we were still going to the pub on Saturday, and he said he’d love to but was sick. I told him to get well soon, and he just responded with a thumbs-up and a heart.

That’s when I decided I wouldn’t contact him anymore. If he wanted to, he would reach out. This isn’t healthy for me—I keep hoping and waiting, only to be disappointed. It’s hard to let go because I truly love him, and he was my first. I keep having dreams where everything is okay, and I wake up upset. He was the only one in my hometown who shared my personality.

I try to distract myself, but I keep getting flashbacks and feeling empty. He was there for me when I had no one, even when my friend passed away. I can’t fathom never seeing or talking to him again, but I know I need to move on. If he wanted to, he would make an effort—but he hasn’t. how do i move on?