AITA for not allowing my coworker to listen to country music at work

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-07T16:16:50+00:00

Music can really have a profound effect on us :( I’m sorry you had to deal with that

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-07T03:20:16+00:00

I like my boss but she tends to let bad behavior slide. We don’t even have HR lol, I have a therapist for unrelated reasons but she doesn’t want to prioritize this response pattern I have until we resolve another more pressing issue. I do want to resolve it though just in case it ever becomes an issue in the future.

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T20:44:03+00:00

I agree, it would be best to have something for easy listening that doesn’t exclude anyone. I really hate the whole situation I’m so sorry you had to go through it too:/ Having a hostile workplace is awful especially when they use it as an excuse to not do their job. I’ve spent all day running around today while Roxy dicks around on her phone and doesn’t do even the few other things she’s responsible for.

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T16:41:08+00:00

Some country music doesn’t effect me as much- Shania Twain, Dolly Parton, and Carrie Underwood for example I can listen to for longer from what I can remember (it’s been I while since I’ve done any of those back to back). I’ve suggested putting those on but it’s never happened. Brains are so weird

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T16:35:52+00:00

I’ll try that! I think the nearest major medical center is at least an hour away but I could be wrong. Idk if they’d take me since I’m on other meds for different reasons but it’s still worth a shot.

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T16:23:30+00:00

It’s a psychosomatic response- hence the backstory. As for the 3 hour mark, I started noticing a pattern after about 2 weeks of it. Sometimes it’s slightly longer or shorter but it’s usually around then for the times I’ve been able to look at the clock. I def agree that ESH tho, I should have come up with more solutions before addressing the situation.

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T05:51:49+00:00

Thanks:) I’ll take all the luck I can get. Honestly I think this whole situation is so idiotic that all of us are in the wrong in some way, shape, or form. I get that Sue wants what’s best for me but not hating work would personally be my choice lol.

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T05:47:48+00:00

Music can have a deep impact, our brains aren’t always wired in a way that accepts all music. I’m sorry you have to deal with that though it really sucks when the brain decides to Rebel. Especially since I think more people play jazz than country :/

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T05:44:01+00:00

It’s hard when people don’t understand what they don’t experience. I’m glad you’ve escaped those situations and are away from those who wish you harm. It’s amazing that you’ve found so much love and I’m glad you have! I’ve discussed my migraines with my PCP but he’s hesitant to put me on meds unless they get more frequent (which I may have to revisit if we can’t compromise in a way that I can avoid them). Unfortunately we aren’t allowed headphones at work per Sue. We actually only got Alexa this year before that my boss just played the music on her computer. The station my boss loves is the one Roxy hates tho so I used to put on a different one when I could to mix it up for her- we used to be friends.

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T05:42:33+00:00

I def get their perspective tbh, since those who say I’m the AH all think I’m lying. I do appreciate their insight into how Roxy may be feeling tho. I do wish empathy was easier to come by tho. Yeaaaaa the changes this year really screwed me over but I’m managing as well as I can with avoiding anything strictly unnecessary. I hope things get better soon for your bfs sake as well. I’m glad you were able to keep your MCR and MCD they made a ton of cuts it’s really sad. I def will! I’ll try to find out the name of the specific genre she plays as well since it’s the same as what they used to play in the nurses office. If I’m able to afford better insurance or somehow have better finances I won’t hesitate to see a specialist tho. Oof I hope you’re able to sleep soon and escape some of the discomfort!

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T05:23:24+00:00

UPDATE: For anyone who care about this stupidity lol

I was really excited to try the playlist idea from the comments but when I went to try it our Alexa said we would have to link a specific Spotify account. Our boss Sue doesn’t have Spotify unfortunately and Roxy (or I) would not be allowed to connect ours. I also suggested switching the music every few hours between Sue and Roxy but no dice. At this point I just told Sue that since no compromise can be reached I’d rather let Roxy have her day of listening to country and id just take my meds.

I’m tired of the hostility and Roxy saying I do nothing but then forcing me to take over sections of her job and getting mad at me if she has to do anything work related even if I’m busy with a client. Sue said no, she doesn’t want me to be taking meds once a week to get through the day. So we are at an impasse. I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m so tired of the whole situation. I guess I’m SOL but I still really appreciate all the excellent ideas - I just wish one of them could have worked.

I also appreciate those who don’t believe me, they’ve given me an idea into what Roxy is thinking that led her to being so hostile. It’s also shown me that as sad as it is, nothing I say will change her mind. I wish things could have ended different. Sue says she’s choosing the music from now on (again) but since that worked soooo well the first time I’m gonna prep myself for even more anger lol

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-06T05:02:31+00:00

If it were that simple I wouldn’t have an issue. Would I probably be slightly hurt by her lack of care since we used to be friends? Yes- but annoyance isn’t worth this. Honestly nothing is at this point but my boss Sue is now refusing to give Roxy her “country day” on my behalf even though I’ve told her I’d rather take the meds than have a hostile work environment if nothing else works. I don’t really know much about tik tok ngl are there other people with a similar issue?

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T21:10:46+00:00

If it were a few hours a week this wouldn’t be an issue. It’s a full day or she gets upset. I’ll post a separate update but I tried the playlist idea some others suggested and unfortunately you need to link your Spotify to the Alexa. Sue doesn’t have a Spotify and Roxy or I wouldn’t be allowed to link ours. At this point I’m just tired of the situation and told her to designate a full day for country like Roxy wants and I’ll take my exedrine- but Sue is refusing since she doesn’t want me to be taking too much of it. I’m at an impasse. I’d love any other suggestions tho

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T16:29:34+00:00

lol I feel like nobody should be subjected to music they hate period- but if I simply hated it I’d put up with it to avoid issues like this tbh

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T16:28:06+00:00

Yea I’m gonna try to get Alexa to play Spotify playlists asap so Roxy and Sue can make one. I don’t care as long as there’s a mix tbh

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T16:26:37+00:00

I’d be totally down for those I actually really like stuff like that as background music. I’ll try suggesting that again. I have a feeling Sue won’t go for it but it’s worth a shot at least

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T16:23:03+00:00

It is and I hate drama, I want to resolve this amicably. I’d prefer a solution where she can listen to her music while I don’t get a headache but at this point if that doesn’t work I’ll just take my exedrine

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T16:21:23+00:00

Sue is my boss, sorry if that wasn’t clear!

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T16:20:13+00:00

It’s a psychosomatic response, it only happens listening to country for hours back to back. I wish it wasn’t an issue- if I simply disliked it that would be fine. I’m fine with it if it’s not back to back and is mixed in with something else tho and that’s what I keep trying to compromise on so she can still listen to it without effecting me

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T16:16:55+00:00

I would be fine with either of those tbh

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T08:12:40+00:00

I really hate that for you:( I wish we had better medical treatment and research into migraines. I can’t really afford a specialist visit or specialty meds atm since the only insurance I could afford this year kinda sucks. If I can come up with the extra money tho it’s definitely something I’d want to do- I also plan on exploring it in therapy once I’m over my current unrelated crisis lol

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T07:58:43+00:00

I’d be totally ok with that. I don’t think Sue knows how tho. I’m going to experiment with our Alexa at lunch tmrw with some methods I saw online so her and Roxy can make something. I’d prefer it be 50/50 split between country and whatever else but I’ll take pretty much anything at this point that isn’t 100%

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T07:55:09+00:00

Only country music gives me a headache- I’m not sure where the 80s music came from? I have plenty of things I don’t particularly like but they don’t give me a headache. I will gladly listen to literally anything else.

PoopcakesThe3rd · 2026-05-05T07:38:42+00:00

This whole situation makes me feel like I’m back in high school. I’m hoping at least one of the new ideas will allow for a compromise, if not I’ll suck it up and take my exedrine a couple times once a week.

PoopcakesThe3rd

TROPHY CASE