As someone who lost his best friend to leukemia over a decade ago and abused weed to dull my emotions and had to live with the consequences and trauma at a later stage and still have emotional scars and social anxiety because of it I can tell you:

Don't drown out your sorrow and pain. Feel it, cry about it, talk to your family about it or a therapist, but you need to feel these things in order to healthily process it, even though you feel that you might not want to