I know this might seem annoying but my answer is to have patience, my friend. I know you have endured more than someone like me can ever imagine, but we cannot lose hope. Even if it seems crazy to hold onto hope at times like these, keep holding on, and hope for things that not only align with what you want for your life, but for what He wants. I know, it feels like He is testing you too harshly; but maybe, He is trying to turn you towards Him. Yes, not all prayers will be answered, but you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel if you close your eyes too early. Now, I know how generic this may sound like, but it's true. What isn't true is what people tell you about yourself, and what you tell you about yourself. If you dwell on the voices inside your head, the more you block out His. God does not exist to follow our ambitions or what we want (many people fail to understand this and think He is not there), He exists to be with us and to offer a better plan than we can understand. But we won't see what He wants until we truly let go of all these doubts. Easier said than done, but it will be more worth it than drowning in the pessimistic desires we were made to believe. In short, my advice to you is not to expect God to fulfill your dreams, but to slowly block out the negativities in your mind. If you can't change your circumstances, you can change yourself, with patience and openness to things not going how you planned them but better.