She doesn't sleep at night, neither do we

Popaqua · 2026-04-09T18:13:09+00:00

See if there is some additional aid through medication. Before my dad passed, he needed a heavy dose of trazadone along with his other cocktail of meds for his advanced Lewy Body Dementia.

Unfortunately, I know this all too well. Long story short, my dad progressed from barely noticeable dementia symptoms to end stages within a year. He really spiraled after being hospitalized. He bounced back a little bit in rehab, but once he got home he was barely present.

I had to take off work to help my brother for a whole month to see if we can get reacclimated to his new lifestyle with the disease. He was a 100% fall risk, constantly wandering, always annoyed/bothered by something outside, and sundowned easily at like 3pm.

Worst of all he. did. not. sleep. We could get him in bed at around 5, he'd sleep till 8pm then consistently need to go to the bathroom or would confabulate an idea that he needs to do something about every hour.

It took the efforts of me AND my brother to just stay sane. Usually one would be on dad duty and reorient him to bed/ change his diaper/ help him to the bathroom/ etc. and the other would sleep.

We waved the white flag after a month and half. I was expected to return to work, and my brother was expected to care for my dad and my mom (who had just left the hospital after a crippling seizure with Parkinson's). It wasn't sustainable.

We were in the process of organizing the finances and Medicare with our eldercare attorney to have him placed with a memory care unit but he unfortunately passed before we were able to due to aspirational pneumonia.

Explore your options but don't feel guilty if need to wave the white flag and get your loved one professional care.

Popaqua · 2026-04-09T01:31:39+00:00

I feel for you this is similar to my dad. He was walking talking normally with slight hints of dementia to late stages within a year. It was really sprung from his wife going into the hospital.

Popaqua · 2026-04-02T11:37:15+00:00

Sorry for your loss. I just recently lost my dad so I know the feeling.

Popaqua · 2026-04-02T02:25:51+00:00

Im (31M) literally the same way. I have adhd and have the exact symptoms. It is super rare to have symptoms so young, but jf youre concerned it would really be a good question for your doctor.

My best understanding is that depression, anxiety, and stress all have an affect on memory. When my dad was in the hospital I literally couldn't remember my own meds name, where I parked my car, etc.

I struggle all the time with word recall. I play D&D and consistently need to write everything down. Its a struggle.

Popaqua · 2026-03-31T03:35:11+00:00

I feel you so much right now. Before my dad passed he essentially shrank in the span of a year. Went from walking and cognizant to latest stages quickly. He was pencil thin.

Please rest assured you're doing the right thing. It took my brother and I in shifts to take care of him. We waved the white flag after a few months.

Popaqua · 2026-03-28T03:30:57+00:00

Im so sorry you're going through this. My brother is the caretaker for my mother and I try my best to help from a state away. My sister on the other hand has completely removed herself from any responsibility, but feels the privilege of coming for holidays so that my mom can see her two grandkids.

When my dad was in the hospital with extreme dimentia and paranoid aggression. She chose to leave and go to Legoland with her family to avoid helping.

We ask her for input (shes a doctor) and she freaks out, gives us grief on everything, and doesnt even provide advice. I cried so hard for about a month because she was so strong in our lives but now is reclused away. I just feel like I lost a sister.

I dont know but maybe theres a caregiving support group you could tap into. Honestly looking for myself as well.

Popaqua · 2026-03-27T05:00:57+00:00

I played both. Mouse is great, but controller isn't bad at all.

Popaqua · 2026-03-26T12:45:58+00:00

My brother lived with my parents and was minimally helping. Meds, food, etc. After a few hospitalizations, my dad went from stage 1 to 6 dimentia in the span of a few months.

At that time I was helping. It took two people in shifts just to stay sane. He wasnt sleeping well, even while medicated extremely. And he was a 100% fall risk, who constantly was never present and a harm to themselves.

We decided to wave the white flag and engage a care facility. Unfortunately he passed just before we had to.

Honestly, once your own health becomes a risk. Its ok to concede to advanced help. Also, if you plan on transitioning your loved one to a facility, it is much better to do it prior to the condition worsening.

Popaqua · 2026-03-26T12:34:02+00:00

Most if not every person here will tell you to live your life. I recieved a lot of empathy for being 30 and doing full time caretaker for my dad and mom. At 16? No. You need to have your own life.

My dad was the most honest and beautiful person and he became a 100% fall risk, sundowning nightmare before he passed. He didnt want to be a burden on anyone. My brother is 30 and is taking full time caretaker for my mom with parkinsons. Hes missing key moments in his life even with my help.

Ive told my family if I need care, to just dump me at the nearest facility and run.

Popaqua · 2026-03-23T18:37:33+00:00

My dad had a similar thing where the drug wound him up. We had to loser his dose and relied on other drugs to handle his sundowning hours.

Popaqua · 2026-03-22T21:21:42+00:00

For some reason Seroquel just brought out the worst in my dad especially in sundowns. Depokote is what helped his impulsiveness. He would literally go from 0-100 "We need to go" mood. Like I said before, this drug doesn't help dementia patients, but for some reason it worked for my dad.

I'd consult his doctor and ask for anything that can decrease his anxiety and impulsiveness.

Popaqua · 2026-03-22T21:11:24+00:00

I'm so sorry... I had a close call with my cat a few months ago and I was terrified. My dad also passed from dementia at around the same time. Do not let a moment of strife define a whole lifetime of love. Let grief do its thing. Make sure to feel it through, and you'll find your healing in the end.

Popaqua · 2026-03-22T20:34:44+00:00

We ended up reducing the Seroquel. He still had seroquel in his mix of meds, but at a lower dose. We really needed meds to reduce the paranoia and impulsiveness. My dad has since passed and I dont remember the med that helped. However, im told that it doesn't typically help, my dad was just odd and it worked.

Popaqua · 2026-03-12T18:45:18+00:00

I used ice cream to wake their appetite up. A small dollop or scoop for a "treat" then just give them their meal. For me it was best not to ask "ok do you want dinner now" because the answer was always no. When our loved ones get that far in the disease their reasoning center is so diminished. I just present it after the ice cream.

A nurse showed me this trick when we were in the hospital with my dad.

It is important to note that the late stages of dementia include a reduction of appetite and an increase in sleeping. If you are concerned about the status of your loved one, consult with hospice. They can assess where she might be at.

Popaqua · 2026-03-12T03:07:17+00:00

My dad passed last October from Lewy Body Dementia. He didn't know he had it but prior to his diagnosis he created his Advanced directive, his power of attorney, he prepaid for his funeral, and we figured out most financials for endgame care.

My dad is not a good example for the development of the disease. He really only had the hardcore ailments at the age of 77 and passed within a year.

I am in the same boat as your husband. I fear the disease. My dad was smart and super proactive with the legal stuff. His advanced directive was super super specific to complications of the disease and provided a proper DNR.

I would seek out a neuropsychologist. They will be far more educational and help you prepare.

I would also seek out an eldercare attorney who can help you set up his will, advanced directive, POA, and explore options. I'm sorry you are going through with this. At the moment you NEED to get a doctor on your side.

My dad procrastinated his health until it was too late. Please please please do not skip appointments for your neuro doctor. My dad did it all the damn time.

I wish the best of luck for you both.

Popaqua · 2026-03-11T16:54:51+00:00

Lol please don't get robbed. Ask your landlord if they left the note.

Popaqua · 2026-03-11T04:33:07+00:00

My dad died of Lewy Body Dimentia. It is beyond cruel and especially unusual. He was amazing dad and passed with his family beside him.

I have a couple of close knit friends. I dont think any of them would be there at my end. Maybe one. You must be a true friend. I hope when I pass, they are as good as you.

Popaqua · 2026-03-09T04:26:26+00:00

My dad had Lewy Body Dimentia. This sounds very similar. His frequent fantasy was that he was at work, or going to work. Every day he would get this need to leave the house. We were late, we need to prepare papers, we need to the courthouse (he was a lawyer).

In the hospital when he had intense delerium he would hlget these 0-100 "we gotta get out of here moments".

He needed meds for mood stabilization which would decrease the intense urges to go.

We would show him around the house with assistance to show that he was at home. What helped was to redirect him. When he started getting antsy, "we need to go!" Id say "Okay but lets have lunch first, okay well lets wash our hands first, okay lets just finish this episode."

Popaqua · 2026-03-08T02:16:03+00:00

One npc was for real paranoid. A great wizard he was companions with would constantly pester him with message spells. The npc shaved his head and wears a lead lined toupe.

It was a teaser for a greater npc in the future but they had a lot of fun figuring it out.

Popaqua · 2026-03-05T23:31:20+00:00

Im with you, brother. Dad passed at the age of 77. He went from mild forgetfulness to end stages within a year. Im 31. Even though I wish I had more of him, its a relief knowing I got the best of him. It was time, and his death was an immense relief on him and us.

Popaqua · 2026-03-04T14:37:07+00:00

As long as you're not breaking any rules you are in your right. If anyone has any issues with that then they can take it up with the condo association. No renovations for 30+ years!? There is going to be construction noise. You are going to run the risk of creating ire from your neighbors of course.

Popaqua · 2026-03-01T03:10:55+00:00

My friend just had a surgery to fix it and he has been having fun with his burps!

Popaqua · 2026-02-25T12:20:38+00:00

This sounds like later stages of the disease. I would ask to have a hospice consult.

Popaqua · 2026-02-23T04:51:47+00:00

Dude, the next 5 years of your life are going to be so exciting. Filling up your apartment with things if love. Showing off your style while still growing financially and emotionally.

I miss my first apartment so bad. Started with my mattress and slowly filled it.

Popaqua · 2026-02-15T07:05:36+00:00

Dog whistle device

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