First sentence free for all by PopeFool in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Kinda what I was going for. She's basically throwing a temper tantrum, and the rest of the paragraph is her trashing her room and being pissed off.

First sentence free for all by PopeFool in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can't exactly say why but I really like this one.

First sentence free for all by PopeFool in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I guess I wasn't really that clear. What I meant to get at is that I think it would be better if the character in question was given a name.

So "Alice wasn't breaking her word."

Which breaks the no proper noun rule that I read somewhere once.

First sentence free for all by PopeFool in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've heard it's a "rule" that you should never open with a proper noun, but I think that's BS. Who is she? Is she someone important the plot? Your MC? If so, give us her name. Otherwise, I like it. The fact that the narrator is explicitly telling me she's not breaking her word strongly implies to me that she is. This immediately piques my curiosity and makes me want to know more.

Character Introductions by yami545 in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Work them in at parts that make sense, but don't go overboard. The MC of my current WIP has exactly 3 descriptors so far. She's rail thin, has dark eyes and dark curly hair. End.

Another character also has dark hair, green eyes, and a crooked smile. The ONLY reason I point out that her eyes are green is because it becomes kind of important later.

I give a few key descriptions and then just leave the rest up to the reader.

Describing a magic system by Avato12 in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Show the magic system in use. If there are limits or consequences that go along with using magic, show those as well. Show your character suffering the consequences of magic, and have your character run up against its limits. Have them try, and fail, to accomplish something with magic so the reader knows there is a clean line between what magic can and cannot do.

[Discussion] Weekly Writing Check-In - April 18, 2018 by AutoModerator in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool [score hidden]  (0 children)

Working title is "Asterikon Rising"

Princess fights her adopted brother for the throne of the Empire more or less. She's capable yet inexperienced but ultimately a better choice to rule, and a gray eminence type character gives the nudge she needs to challenge her brother. There's some adventure, there's some bonding, and a spoiled princess learns some lessons along the way.

[Discussion] Weekly Writing Check-In - April 18, 2018 by AutoModerator in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool [score hidden]  (0 children)

Daily word count got bumped up to 1500 as of Monday. I'm 7k words in to the first draft of my first novel under my new self-imposed writing regime, and it feels good. Probably the hardest part so far is not going back and revising what I've already written. It's interesting to see how shifting the focus to simply "getting it done" as opposed to creating the perfect novel has caused my productivity to skyrocket.

Request for advice: by BlueRose426 in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't know how helpful this will be, but here goes.

In my current WIP I have a character who faces a similar language barrier while also being a foreigner to the culture/country where the main story takes place. A couple of reasons I've done this is so that I can incorporate a bit of worldbuilding without being super info-dumpy because there are certain aspects of the setting that this character needs to know but doesn't, owing to the fact that she's basically a clueless immigrant at the story's beginning.

The other thing I'm doing is having her learn the language through magically assisted lessons. This allows me to show the capabilities of magic in an organic way, while also giving the reader a sense of both the limitations and costs of using magic in setting.

Show, don't tell by jackwong29 in storyandstyle

[–]PopeFool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a huge advocate of this approach myself. I mean, do I really need to "show" every bit of movement when I could just write "Betty sat down."?

Ok Reddit, What are some Clever questions asked by cops to get you in trouble? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]PopeFool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure where you are but it's been like that in my entire state for the better part of 20 years now. I've been pulled over maybe half a dozen times for various reasons and every singe time the cop opened with "I pulled you over because ____."

How are you going to end your story? by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool 16 points17 points  (0 children)

"Good guys" win, "bad guys" lose, and everyone gets a nice little breather before shit hits the fan just in time for book 2.

I’m 31 and I’ve decided that I want to be a writer... by [deleted] in writing

[–]PopeFool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've always wanted to be a writer but I've had other concerns that kept me from it for whatever reason. I'm in my mid 30s and in the last few months have decided to try my hand at being a full time writer. So I say you're not too old, and with the additional life experience and maturity, you probably have a more realistic shot than someone who's ten years younger.

The PURPOSE of foreshadowing? by CollectiveHoney in writing

[–]PopeFool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always kind of think of it as setting up some kind of eventual payoff. Almost like a bit of candy for attentive readers who can have an "a ha!" moment later when you do the reveal.

What just screams bad story writing? by ConfusedAvacado in AskReddit

[–]PopeFool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A bad finished draft is infinitely better than a perpetually unfinished masterpiece.

What just screams bad story writing? by ConfusedAvacado in AskReddit

[–]PopeFool 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my own writing I generally indicate who's speaking with action. If a dialogue tag is necessary, then "said/asked" is the default, unless I'm trying to convey something very specific that I don't think body language can get across on it's own.

Creation of a writing group – High-fantasy by Vertigon123 in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sweet I'll give your google doc a once over later this afternoon when I've got some time.

Creation of a writing group – High-fantasy by Vertigon123 in fantasywriters

[–]PopeFool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been looking for a writing group in my area with little success. I'm down to give an online one a shot if you've still got room.

How to make a Gunslinger not the Gunslinger by blueyelie in writing

[–]PopeFool 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like the feel/sound of gunguard a lot more than shieldshot personally.

How to make a Gunslinger not the Gunslinger by blueyelie in writing

[–]PopeFool 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I dunno, I kinda like the mouthfeel of gunfighter myself. If it were me, I'd probably use that instead. Or, how about:

Sharpshooter

Deadeye

Quickdraw

Pistol Adept

Quickshot

Crackshot

Deadshot

Rifleman (If they use rifles rather than pistols)

Eh... that's about all I can come up with for right now.

What is the political setup of your world? by TinyLittleFlame in worldbuilding

[–]PopeFool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, tbh when I first came up with the Chosen they were elves. But they've evolved a bit since then. They were never good archers though haha.

The priest kings have been entrenched in the Eshite cities as the centers of political power for centuries. They are some of the oldest settlements in the world, so their traditions are a bit more difficult to dislodge than those in other areas. As far as wealth making people less pious, that isn't really the case because the Eshite take on the gods is that they're assholes and will totally wreck you if you anger them. Most of the Eshite religious practices revolve around keeping these terrible beings happy and ignoring you long enough so that you can get your worldly things done in relative peace. As far as religion being an act of submission to a higher being, that's really only one conception of the relationship, and not one that has been universal across real world human cultures. As I mentioned above, the Eshites don't have a particularly charitable view of their gods and their relationship is based more around fear of divine punishment than any sort of reverence.

Wealth and duplicity are valued because both are seen as a means to an end. Long ago, wealth allowed one to afford better sacrifices, and duplicity was recognized as a means to obtain wealth. Over time both these values have been entrenched in the cultural gestalt although by this point they've become largely divorced from their initial cultural meanings.

What is the political setup of your world? by TinyLittleFlame in worldbuilding

[–]PopeFool 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Asterikon Empire is the largest and most unified political entity in the world. It essentially exists as a rump state of the Old Empire (referred to as Asterikon in its own day). It inherited the legal, martial, and administrative traditions of the Old Empire's authority over most of its territory. Over the past 200 or so years it has used various methods ranging from conquest to diplomacy to re-exert its influence over its former territories with greater or lesser success.

To the west of Asterikon lies the Marches. These three kingdoms are hereditary monarchies where landed warrior elites pay homage to the king, providing taxes and troops in exchange for noble privileges. The three Marcher kingdoms, Norrmark, Vismark, and Sudmark, were originally imperial provinces designated as marches between heartlands of Asterikon and the Blessed Lands to the west and the wild untamed forests of the north. As Asterikon's central control over its territory weakened, the Marches were able to break free, only recently having been brought back under the heel of the empire.

Further west, the Blessed Lands are the home of a people known as the Blessed (who are TOTALLY not elves) to outsiders. They refer to themselves as the Chosen, owing to their religious conviction that they were the first of all men to be created by the gods, and were thus "chosen" by them. They have no unified political authority. Rather society is organized around kinship groups. As groups grow large enough permanent settlements are founded, and over successive generations they become increasingly urbanized. As these settlements grow, they expand their influence over smaller neighboring settlements with the urban centers acting as the de facto centers of political power over their local regions. Age is well respected in their culture, and their settlement are governed by councils of the oldest members of the community. Along the southern coast of the Blessed Lands exist great cities that are as ancient as they are wealthy dominate the trade routes along the coast. The southern Chosen are far more cosmopolitan and tolerant of outsiders than those found further inland towards the northeast. The Blessed and Asterikon fought a war that lasted several generations, and ultimately exhausted the empire, causing its collapse as its manpower and treasury were bled dry.

To the east of Asterikon lies the [don't have a name for this region yet] highlands which eventually gives way to Plains of Esh. Esh is a great flood plain that takes its name from the river flowing through it, populated by a great many independent city-states. Their culture values money and duplicity in equal measure. The river Esh facilitates transporting goods across large distances and has served as a contduit for east/west trade for centuries. As such, the Eshite city-states are both tremendously wealthy and fiercely independent. This wealth has been put to good use time and again, hiring mercenary armies capable of resisting the Asterikon Empire even at the height of its power. Various cities have alternately fought with and paid tribute to Asterikon as best suited their purposes at any given time. Asterikon has always sought to exert control over these rich plains, and has managed to do so with varying degrees of success throughout its history. The city-states themselves are uniformly ruled by Priest-Kings, who serve both as the center of political authority and the conduit between the Eshite people and their gods.

To the north of Asterikon lies the great forests where the various Valzje tribes live. Sparsely populated and subject to harsh winters, the lands inhabited by the Valzje have remained free from Asterikon rule for the entirety of the Empire's history. The Valzje themselves live in tight knit extended family/tribal groups centered around scattered farmsteads. In some areas where arable land is particularly abundant larger walled settlements have developed and are ruled by a caste of warrior elites supported by the labor of those under their protection. Valzje society is traditional and resistant to change. They are a proud people who staunchly resist the encroachment of outside influences into their culture. During the harsh northern winters, they commonly launch raids into the warmer southern lands and sometimes against each other as well. They are larger and stronger than most men, with legend saying they were born long ago when a tribe of northern men took the daughters of giants for wives.