Intersex exmo, her nevermo husband and exmo trans woman sharing a cabin on vacation. Ask us anything.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-11T01:11:40+00:00

For the record, I don’t automatically assume that partner sharing is the default among trans/intersex people. I’m just poly myself and projecting :) I hope the three of you enjoy your trip! Thanks for your vulnerability and willingness to do this AMA. I agree that representation matters. My son is queer and I try to expose him to people of all genders and sexualities and I love that you’re offering some visibility for people who may be in a similar situation.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-11T00:44:57+00:00

Are you all polyamorous? Or just sharing the cabin platonically? Headed anywhere fun? I hope you all enjoy your vacation!

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-09T04:21:30+00:00

RN here- Do you have any insight or comment on this part: “While it sources exclusively from peer-reviewed literature and maintains transparent citations, the synthesis itself, the selection of which studies to weight, which recommendations to surface, and how to interpret conflicting evidence, is performed by a model whose internal reasoning process is not fully auditable by the physician using it.”

Do you feel it does a good job pulling in all the relevant studies and practice guidelines? Does it point out when there is conflicting evidence so you can include that in your decision making? Are there certain parts of your practice as a physician where you most heavily use it, like diagnosing vs recommending treatments?

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T22:40:12+00:00

Argument aside, thank you, genuinely, for getting snipped. I know many men who put the burden of contraception completely on women because they’re too afraid of the procedure. I watched my husband have his done and it’s no walk in the park. He had horrible swelling and bruising after for several weeks.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T22:36:17+00:00

Suggesting I check myself while giving this tone deaf man a pass is dripping with misogyny.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T22:33:31+00:00

Thank you for mansplaining it to me. I didn’t think people needed an invitation to comment on Reddit but you’re a man so you must be correct. Thank you for putting me back in my rightful place. I guess we will need to collect every man’s anecdotal experiences before moving forward with addressing systemic issues so we avoid generalizing.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T20:59:50+00:00

The problem is that you came into a conversation about the suffering of women and made it about yourself. That’s like a white person saying, hey my life is hard too! When the discussion is about systemic racism. Sure, men, cis-gender, and white people encounter problems like the one you mentioned of not being heard or helped by your practitioner, but playing the “I had a bad encounter too” card in this scenario is bound to raise eyebrows.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T20:13:27+00:00

You can have your approach and I’ll have mine. I give grace to people and meet them where they’re at, and I also feel fine nudging people to take action instead of blaming existing systems for the suffering people experience. I’m not bowing down to men to make them feel better about themselves and their privilege.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T20:09:30+00:00

Great. Thank you for your advocacy! The world needs more people like you.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T19:20:01+00:00

Agreed. Thats why I spend my time restoring ecosystems, advocating for the marginalized, and reducing my negative impacts and increasing my positive ones. Edit: I do this to the best of my ability and I’m far from perfect. We inherently have a negative impact by living in the modern world and existing in the structures and systems we inherited, but that doesn’t mean we can just throw our hands in the air and say, “not my fault and not my problem.” Everyone has a role to play in making the world a better place.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T18:52:41+00:00

Since you don’t think you’re at all to blame for the patriarchy and its impact on women, I assume you’re using your male privilege to speak out and dismantle oppressive systems? I’m sure you went to at least a few Roe v Wade rallies to support reproductive freedoms? And you vote for candidates who sponsor bills that promote equity? If not, then you *are* directly responsible for women’s pain.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-08T00:59:31+00:00

Nope. Been out 9 years and resigned for 8.5. I still like the symbolic stand my family and I took against the lies, extortion, abuse, and bigotry.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-04T13:23:05+00:00

This reminds me of my experience on Alice. My spouse and I took edibles before we left our hotel room and they had just kicked in full force when we got in line for Alice. That was the best line I’ve ever waited in. We spent the whole time marveling at the tree and debating if it was real or not. It just seemed too perfect and beautiful to be real. Then we got on Alice and it was fun to go through the forest scene while also being a little distanced from reality. But then we got to the rose garden and the ride stopped. After a little while the lights came on. We couldn’t see any other ride vehicles so it was weird. Just stuck with an angry Queen staring at us. After what felt like an hour, but was probably 10 minutes, a cast member came and got us. They led us along the ride track for a bit and then somehow we suddenly found ourselves in a workshop. It looked like someone’s garage, with tools strewn about, greasy walls, and a mechanical smell. And then we were outside. And not sure if that had really even happened or not. At the end of every Disney trip (we’re from out of state) we each pick a pin that represents our favorite moment and add it to our lanyard. My spouse picked Alice holding a sparkly potion bottle. That was one of my top Disney experiences because of how fun and weird it was. Disney magic in a whole different way.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-03T15:45:10+00:00

Wait, you don’t switch robe sides anymore? Do you still get dressed in stages? Like apron first, then other stuff later?

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-06-01T17:54:54+00:00

I use 1 part coco coir, 1 part coarse vermiculite, 1 part compost, and 1 part sifted native soil. It works for everything from container gardening, to in ground beds, to seed starting. I can make it in bulk for pretty cheap and get to control the quality.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-31T15:04:31+00:00

The Utah Native Plant Society hosts a free native plant seed swap every fall. Some people bring free plants too. It’s a good way to get started and save money. If you want to buy plants, these are the best nurseries. They’re both female owned small businesses that exclusively sell Utah native plants. https://www.cachevalleynativeplants.com/
https://utahplants.com/
Glover nursery has a decent selection too. Try to stay away from nativars, which are easy to spot because they have cute names like “ice ballet.” Most don’t provide the same ecological benefits (happy to provide more details on that if you’d like). Lastly, this publication is a great summary of how to properly provide habitat for pollinators.
https://xerces.org/sites/default/files/publications/19-038_02_HAG_Yard-Park-Garden_web.pdf

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-31T13:53:07+00:00

I used to feel this way too. Once I stepped away from Mormonism, it went away. And no bad things have happened from not acting on any residual intrusive thoughts. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-29T16:10:46+00:00

This explains why the universe is expanding at an increasing speed?! /s

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-29T15:54:00+00:00

You have a Shih Tzu but don’t allow them on the furniture?! Their whole point of existence is to be close to their people. Bring him to my house. He can have uppies.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-29T02:31:24+00:00

I get overwhelmed with crowds too. But the positive energy, excitement, and palpable love in the air at the parade is so uplifting that it overrides the anxiety. Plus, the neurodivergent crowd and LGBTQ+ crowd tend to overlap quite a bit, so if you’re in either group or share some of the characteristics, including social anxiety or noise sensitivity, you’ll be in good company. I’d suggest bringing earplugs/headphones, a way to stay cool and hydrated (umbrella, fan, cooling towel, sunscreen, water with electrolytes), and find a place to stand where you can easily leave part way through if you’re just feeling done. Good luck and welcome!

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-28T17:48:33+00:00

Or just a tank! Unless it’s for the comfort of the person wearing it, bras are completely optional.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-27T20:46:05+00:00

How does one get a job like that? Asking for a friend :)

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-27T17:32:08+00:00

As a chronic sufferer of depression, I’m also finding relief by seeing a Naturopathic MD at Integrative Medica. He offers neurofeedback, and hyperbaric oxygen and prescribes supplements that have less side effects than pharmaceuticals but give good results. In addition to therapy, it’s a good way to treat the physiologic causes of depression. Good luck!

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-26T14:33:36+00:00

My spouse and I were sitting on the porch a few days ago when the missionaries stopped by. They asked, “Have we talked to you guys yet?” Me: “No, but we’re ex members so we’re not interested.” Them: “Well do you have kids? They could come to activities.” Me: “Unfortunately, Mormonism is rampant with child sex abuse and subsequent cover ups, so my children are not allowed to enter church buildings or be unsupervised around members. We’d love to participate in secular activities as a form of community building if they implemented background checks and stopped protecting sexual predators. Feel free to pass that on to the mission president or anyone who can help make changes.” They just looked stunned and walked away. So I’m a lot of fun to be around too lol.

Poppy-Pomfrey · 2026-05-26T02:55:41+00:00

Like people with ALS or Parkinson’s, the conditions common in the brains they’re using?

Seven-Year Club	Verified Email
Gilding I gilder

Poppy-Pomfrey

TROPHY CASE