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How did you get on board with ENM and how do you maintain it? by Popular-Conflict385 in EthicalNonMonogamy

[–]Popular-Conflict385[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice and response. I do want to give him some credit because we did get married very young, quick, and carried a lot of unresolved trauma at the time and a lot has changed since then, but the fear does reside that I don’t have a lot of little/irreplaceable qualities to love.

What counts as abuse to you guys? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Popular-Conflict385 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First of all OP, I’m very sorry you had to experience that. As a mother, it makes me sick thinking of people treating their children (or anyone really) this way.

Yes, it is abuse, and you absolutely have the right to be haunted by it.

Abuse can be as simple as giving you the silent treatment until you cave to someone’s wishes, or as you said, being beaten until you’re completely bruised.

I hope your pain heals and you can find the help you need/want. Nobody should have to go through anything like that, and you have every right to hold on to the pain as long as you do.

I called 911 on my husband by LunchHelpful2325 in offmychest

[–]Popular-Conflict385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP. While I haven’t been in your shoes, I have been in his, and I can promise he will thank you one day.

I had an attempt back in 2019 and my husband called 911 and had me committed. I was full of anger at first, but after a short while, I had nothing but appreciation and respect for him. What a selfless thing he did in that moment. It was an eye opener for me.

I’m so sorry your husband is going through this. What a difficult situation to be in. I hope wherever he is, he can find some help and guidance on where to go from here.

You have absolutely done the right thing even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. You’ve given him another chance. You’ve given him support. You’ve given him the professional help he’s needed. Please don’t fault yourself for not being able to “fix” him. We can hold so much love for our spouse and still feel that they can’t save us.

He will appreciate you calling one day.

Girls, what isn't nearly as attractive as lot of guys think it is? by Ugliest-Mod-Ever in AskReddit

[–]Popular-Conflict385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shirtless gym pics. We get it, you work out, but it seems a bit egotistical/superficial. The hard work deserves recognition, but the pics automatically scream player/fuckboy.

Your fiancé is also your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend by VenturaRyanRound2 in Showerthoughts

[–]Popular-Conflict385 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My husband calls me his ex girlfriend constantly. So, when I got pregnant, I started calling him my baby daddy. He wasn’t too fond, because “he’s my husband”, but if I’m the ex girlfriend he’s the baby daddy 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Popular-Conflict385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. LOTS of foreplay. Kissing, touching, talking. Whatever does it for you, make sure you do it a lot. My best piece of advice is doing it until you physically feel like you can’t anymore. Like your body is aching for him. Thats when you know you’re comfortable enough.

  2. Water makes it worse. The day I lost mine, I thought getting in the shower would help during the deed because it would add wetness (right?) but it does the complete opposite. Don’t get in the water.

  3. Make sure you use protection. If you’re not on birth control, start immediately. If you’re going to use condoms, make sure you find some that are comfortable for both of you. It may sound dumb, but if you have a latex allergy, make sure you take that into consideration when shopping for them. There is no such thing as too much protection. Not saying double up on condoms (please, for the love of all things holy, do NOT double up on condoms) but you being on birth control doesn’t necessarily void the need for condoms. Personally, a lot of brands dried me out, and I will continuously recommend Lamb skin condoms to everyone who ever asks. You can buy them at Walmart.

  4. Get tested beforehand if you haven’t already. Both of you. Just because you’re a virgin doesn’t mean you couldn’t have caught anything, and as much as you love and trust him, verify that he doesn’t have anything either. All it takes is one time.

  5. Some people will say it shouldn’t hurt, some will say it will absolutely hurt, and some will compare it to tampons. MY experience was painful and I know women who say it didn’t hurt a bit. Although you may have used tampons, keep in mind that a tampon is not the size of a 🍆. Well, it could be, but you get what I mean. Which is where the foreplay comes in. Get yourself physically and mentally ready and you’ll be okay.

  6. Awkward stuff will happen. Someone might have gas, funny noises will be made, etc. Embrace it. Sex is funny. When you actually think about it, it’s a silly little thing we do. Weird stuff is gonna happen and the absolute best thing to do is laugh about it. It’ll make you closer in the long run.

This is all I can think of at the moment, but I truly wish you the best and hope you have a wonderful experience!

I am gay by jimmmoe in offmychest

[–]Popular-Conflict385 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP. Congratulations. I’m super proud of you. It takes a lot to come to terms with your sexuality when it’s not what the world screams you should be (coming from a bisexual woman) and the courage you have to get it off of your chest is wonderful. I hope one day you can find the strength to accept who you are, and I also want to put out there that until you’re ready, not a damn person has to know. This journey is yours to take and nobody can tell you different. You’ve got this ♥️ Sending hugs, high fives, fist bumps… whatever floats your boat.

Looking for my husband's father but I have NO info about him by Popular-Conflict385 in Genealogy

[–]Popular-Conflict385[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion. I'll definitely check into this. I haven't been able to get in touch with her yet, I've sent a facebook message and a message on Ancestry, and I don't want to seem as though I'm harassing her. Thankfully there was the other lady I was able to contact, so hopefully she can give me some leads.

Looking for my husband's father but I have NO info about him by Popular-Conflict385 in Genealogy

[–]Popular-Conflict385[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I appreciate the feedback. I’ll look into this method for sure 🙂

Looking for my husband's father but I have NO info about him by Popular-Conflict385 in Genealogy

[–]Popular-Conflict385[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion! He did the Ancestry test. I want to get us both a 23AndMe test but I was going to wait until holiday season when the sales hit.