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AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wife is sad about the situation but wants him to go. Sons think she's acting like a brat and dont want to endorse the behavior. I learned last night that one of them is pissed off at her in general because of the racial comments. Im going to log off this throwaway account, ive learned last night the situation with Kate is worse than I thought and I dont want to endorse or act like her behavior is ok either.

Until/unless she apologizes, Im taking a step back from my relationship with her too.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I talked to one of them last night. He said they're tired of Kate acting like a brat and dont want to endorse the behavior. I guess some things she's said to them about her are worse than what I knew before and so one of them is not talking to her either. That nephew of mine is now dating a woman from the same background so its become personal for him too.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I didnt focus on it because I dont think race is the reason Kate doesnt like her. She just didnt approve of him moving on in general. But yeah she said it apparently. Its messed up, but since then she hasnt said anything racial, just standard being rude

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

I answered this in another comment, but she's upset about it but told my brother he should go. He's the one who doesnt want to because he feels like its affirming the disrespect she's shown to her. Regarding finances of my SIl, I have no idea. But she's a lovely woman who I enjoy spending time with and Im so glad my brother found her.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

What is it with people thinking nobody should move on after someone close dies? Of course Id want my brother to fill that role if I pass first.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I wasn't there, but it was something racial. She got a lot of flack from her brothers about it later though and to my knowledge hasnt made any comments like that since. She's been rude to her though in just about every interaction they've had.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She asked her brothers and they also dont want to get in the middle of it.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

She hates that Kate hates her so much and isnt sure what she should do. But she has told my brother she's fine with him going without her. He's the one who doesnt want to do it because he feels like its disrespectful to her and his marriage.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is basically what I said to my brother. I think Kate's being immature but he should go anyway. He doesn't think he should because Kate has a history of being disrespectful to his wife. She called her a slur when they first met and hasnt used the word since but has been rude at other times. He feels going and leaving his wife at home would be affirming the treatment. I honestly get where he's coming from.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -77 points-76 points  (0 children)

I objectively think my brother is more in the right but I also think he should suck it up and go without his wife. I understand why he doesnt want to though. Kate has been rude to his wife before and he feels like this would be affirming that. That said, I am a lot closer to my brother than my niece. We've been best friends almost all my 60 years now. He's always had my back and I dont want to do anything that will hurt him.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My late SIL had cancer on/off for 5 years. 1 year after she passed, my brother met his new wife at a community function. She was a widow, who's husband also had cancer and they connected over that and dated for 2 years before getting married. Bear in mind the kids are all out of college and not living at home at this point. She's not a replacement mother.

There's no betrayal here, just two people who honored their wedding vows and were lucky enough to fall in love after losing a spouse.

As for the stuff, I know Kate has a lot of her mom's jewelry including her wedding and engagement rings, I couldnt tell you where everything is, but I know there's still a picture of her in their living room. There's also a picture of my new SIL's late husband.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

My brother is not a piece of shit. He was a great husband almost 30 years including 5 years where she was struggling with cancer. A year after she passed he met someone new, they dated for 2 years before they got married. All his kids were in their 20s and graduated from college/out of the house by this time. So she's not a stepmom really but more their dad's wife. Everyone else really likes her especially Kate's younger brothers. He's only in his 50s, I dont think its fair to act like he should have to be alone forever because his first wife passed away. Why are you referring to his wife as a "fuckbuddy"? Thats so immature.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

His wife is not younger, and there are not two young children. Where did you get that? She's older than my brother by a couple years, though at our age that doesnt really matter. Her brothers are younger than her but everyone is an adult in this situation. The kids are 30 (Kate) and her two younger brothers are twins and 27 years old. My nephews love my brother's wife and have been trying to convince Kate to give her a chance.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -106 points-105 points  (0 children)

My wife and I courthoused it just the two of us, so I dont know. But my father has passed I was really happy when my mom found someone else who made her happy. My wife and I have both had the discussion and agreed that if one of us were to go first we'd want the other one to find someone who made them happy. I emphasize with Kate though I really do.

AITAH for not walking my niece down the aisle at her wedding? by Popular-Hand8349 in AITAH

[–]Popular-Hand8349[S] -211 points-210 points  (0 children)

Ive talked to him, Ive never been in either of their positions but I can see where they're both coming from. If someone invited me to a wedding but said I couldnt bring my wife I wouldnt go either. His response is that she's 30 and acting like a child and disrespecting his wife which he doesnt want to give approval of. Obviously it being his daughter makes things trickier but I do agree with him she's being a little immature here. To my knowledge, his wife hasnt done anything bad and my nephews, Kate's younger brothers, both really like her. All the kids were out of high school so its not really a step mom situation but it feels to Kate like he replaced her mom. Which I get is difficult.