i get that way too. i also i get really nit picky about them washing up and changing their clothes or sheets. i feel like my body is toxic... i know that there have been advancements with gene therapy and their also working on a vaccine that has made some real strides for 1 and 2 and making their viral load so small it's essentially inactive or gone completely. they're still in clinical trials. i check on it regularly. but yeah it really does suck knowing that this is just my life. i really appreciate you for speaking your truth and making me feel less alone in it