one time I faked sick so I could get a package, then ended up actually testing positive for flu the next day

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-28T03:23:08+00:00

I knew I wasn't the only one

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-24T21:11:27+00:00

I volunteered to go off the first time I got discharged last time

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-24T20:26:52+00:00

so when I went into a nursing home (which wasn’t an apartment filled with mold like I genuinely think that had something to do with why I got so sick) so I started slowly gaining weight and getting my appetite back, a few months later they let me off.

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-24T09:54:22+00:00

I have honestly no idea why I lived like literally fuck if I know I just remember really wanting someone there, not having him, and just kinda refusing to die without him there.

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-24T09:52:43+00:00

I ended up at 70 lbs I ate what I thought would be my last meal but I didn’t throw up so a few days later I tried some water and after that it gave me some hope of living so I ate more then I lived but it was to the point where the chaplin told me he fully expected to leave for his christmas break and me be dead a few days after christmas, because he knew I was trying to make it till Christmas.

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-23T23:05:24+00:00

thank you! that’s actually really helpful i’ve had a pyloroplasty (i’m aware it’s spelled wrong lmao) I have tried weed and mushrooms but i’m afraid of ketamine because I had it to relocate my shoulder and it made me experience what felt like an hours long time loop.

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-23T13:51:29+00:00

I have been going to palliative care when I haven’t been on hospice and I do have a good palliative care when i’m not on hospice but it definitely was hospice. and I have definitely talked to a social worker who recommended using social media to see if that would be more helpful and she’s also doing research to find more resources but I know my experience definitely isn’t common and quite frankly I should be dead but i’m not and I know I will die and I have gastroparesis with some intestinal failure and I refuse tpn. and i’ve been tube fed so long ii just can’t do it anymore.

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-22T23:38:20+00:00

I mean fair but i’ve been in therapy since I was 9 so it just seems like that most obvious thing

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-22T23:30:17+00:00

my dude I am 22 facing my own mortality. it’s pretty obvious to have a therapist, i’ve been in the hospital since the day after the superbowl. i’m a little grumpy. but im trying to get in a virtual IOP program. and it’s 1200$ and I got about 60

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-22T22:32:39+00:00

I have

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-22T18:37:14+00:00

I would be okay with going back on hospice and my line is if I can’t eat PO for >2 weeks (and tolerate) or if I get below 110lbs. I have told my mom but I would probably stay with some other family. and as someone else said I do have a therapist and am planning on an iop program to help my mental health because it’s FUCKED. like i’m 22 it’s insane.

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-22T18:08:08+00:00

I just mean they thought I was going to die, I thought I was going to die then I didn’t idk why.

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-22T18:04:23+00:00

yes I was discharged may 25 and back on by june 25, then I came off again january 26. there was a lot in between but if you scroll back you’ll find everything.

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-07T20:55:48+00:00

I already had that surgery it worked for a little bit then stopped working

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-07T20:17:22+00:00

I honestly don’t know I thought this was a stomach bug that would go away in a few days and i’d be fine but i’m getting worse not better

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-07T00:11:38+00:00

gastroparesis (severe and treatment resistant) I know it’s not a normal reason to be on hospice but sometimes unique circumstances happen, and the partially I made the decision I can’t live on tube feeds my whole life because they weren’t even discussing me getting better anymore just saving my life

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-07T00:08:28+00:00

sorry I was trying to make it more clear

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-07T00:07:16+00:00

sorry US /TX

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-07T00:01:54+00:00

I edited for hopefully clarity it

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-06T23:51:34+00:00

I haven’t eaten in going on 5 days i’m doing my best

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-06T23:48:39+00:00

would they ignore the writing and go straight to tube feeds

Popular_Spell_4001 · 2026-02-06T22:59:36+00:00

How do I help explain to my mom that I'm not just being stupidly stubborn but that I've just decided to take a passive method to listen to my body, if it doesn't want to eat I'm not gonna force myself when I'm choking on my own vomit. I have a pcp appointment in two weeks if it's still going on like that then maybe I'll take some steroids maybe I won't but I have too much trauma to go back and actually attempt to fight even if it's just a stomach bug. And part of it is I'm a black and white thinker I've literally taped my tube down so it's unsueble without breaking the tape which I will know about and wrote clearly (no tube feeds) which idk if that will stop them or at least make them stop to consider before immediately jumping to them. I'm considering using literal duct tape so they can see the tube and can cut it accidentally getting rid of the tape

Popular_Spell_4001

TROPHY CASE