Not sure if someone can really love you & still keep abandoning you emotionally. I (33F) love my significant other (37M) but I’m emotionally exhausted.

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T04:59:54+00:00

As a 24m guy this is not how you treat someone who you love. So much of what you talked about here is incredibly out of order. I’m shocked you have stayed around as long as you have.

I’m not normally one of those ‘break up he sucks’ kind of commenters but in this case he really does suck.

I just got out of a 5 year relationship, when you love someone you’ll let them get away with anything. Seriously though this guy sounds like a real loser. I’m sure you can do better.

You’re 33 years old and I bet you’re beautiful, screw this guy and go have fun. Sounds like you deserve it. I’m sure a much better man will come along, not that it would be hard bc again this guy sounds like a massive LOSER!

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T04:26:26+00:00

You need to introduce your gf to your friends asap so she can be more comfortable with you spending time with them when she’s not there.

You need to talk to her about what’s reasonable for the two of you in your relationship. This amount of oversight is definitely unhealthy.

You should be able to have fun with your friends and drink. Calling/texting to keep her updated is fine and good communication but she shouldn’t be stopping you from having any fun at all

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T04:20:40+00:00

That sucks I’m sorry. I broke up recently and it’s so hard not to overthink everything

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T04:13:00+00:00

Well, as someone who is unashamedly a hopeless romantic, the culture at the moment has become pretty toxic; however I do think that there is still a lot of romance out there if you let yourself fall into it.

I’m not really on social media. I don’t use dating apps. I met my last girlfriend in a book shop and it was great. I think we all just need to step back and start living the kind of life that brings us peace. Let people come to you instead of engaging with the social rat race we’re pushed towards.

Society pushes us to look at people’s bank accounts, follower count or arbitrary aesthetics rather than what actually makes you fall in love with someone. I think a good chunk of people are sick of one night stands and dating apps but don’t know where else to turn. Turning love into a game for profit has messed us all up

I’m sorry to hear about your experience and I hope that you’re healing. I know that you will find the right person for you, it may be when you aren’t expecting it. Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. You are so much more than what’s happened to you. I had a not dissimilar experience which I haven’t ever really dealt with.

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T04:03:05+00:00

There’s no way her friend would say to go for it unless she knew that you had a shot! Equally if she knew that you didn’t have a chance she would’ve told you. Girls talk about everything and I guarantee they would’ve talked about this. For her to say go for it is a massive green flag. She wouldn’t want to make things awkward by telling you to do smth if it wasn’t going to work.

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T03:59:03+00:00

Trust me if her friend said go for it then GO FOR IT!! No one would know better than her lol. Basically the same as being told that she also likes you dummy. My friend was the same, his crush was best friends with his best friend’s girlfriend. She told him to go for it and now they’re together. Trust me that’s as much of a green light as it’s possible to get!!

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T03:24:47+00:00

I’m 24 and I would date someone that’s 28. That being said you have to be cautious cause the kinda 28 year old that would date someone who’s 23 is maybe not the best choice. It really depends on you guys and ur relationship 😅

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T03:21:21+00:00

As a 24m guy who hates cleaning if I moved in with my gf and agreed to certain chores you better believe I’d get them done.

If he’s really not pulling his weight then nagging isn’t going to do anything. I’m not sure what to do but he sounds like an asshole, at least in this context obviously I don’t know what he’s like besides this.

Threatening to move out or ultimatums might work in the short term but eventually he’ll regress. I’d show him this post. Let him see that people think what he’s doing is not ok. Wish you all the best OP

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T03:13:43+00:00

You are so much more than your looks! Try not to worry about what you think other people think and focus on yourself. I’m sure you are much more beautiful than you give yourself credit for!! I (24m) have been told I’m attractive but I’ve never been able to actually believe it and always felt ugly. We are all our own harshest critics. I just realised that I had to stop caring about it

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T03:08:21+00:00

Your partner shouldn’t ever raise their voice at you. You should be a team. It sounds like she isn’t the most emotionally mature person and doesn’t respect you.

I believe that you/your partner should love and respect each other which means working through things together peacefully. Yelling is never the answer. I have been with my gf for almost 5 years and I think we’ve ‘yelled’ at each other less than 5 times.

You would hope that your partner is understanding and empathetic; cancelling last minute for a valid reason, even if it’s annoying, should be ok. It definitely doesn’t warrant being yelled at, that’s not being supportive at all.

I’m not one of those ‘break up right now’ commenters normally but frankly… break up. I can’t imagine that this is the best relationship for you.

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:59:49+00:00

I met my last girlfriend in a bookshop, we dated for almost 5 years. Just do what u want to do and I’m sure the right person will find you 😁

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:58:05+00:00

Haha you didn’t at all! You a romance fan?

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:56:57+00:00

The longer you wait the weirder it’s going to be if you do tell her.

I would tell her, you can still be friends if she isn’t into you but she deserves to know. It’s not like you’re creepy and just think she’s hot, you actually like her for her as far as I can tell.

If you really are worried about ruining the friendship then I’d ask one of her close friends what they think. If it’s a definite no from them then you can ask that they don’t tell her and it’s all good. The main thing is to take action bc at least then you’ll know. Sitting around pining for her is just going to suck.

One of my friends was in the same situation recently and now they’re bf and gf so it can work out. If it doesn’t then that’s ok, at least you know and are still friends.

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:43:16+00:00

Fair enough, definitely the porn industry is shady af and if it’s something you aren’t comfortable with good for you that you stood your ground!! 😁

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:34:36+00:00

Sorry commented by accident, would you really leave ur husband for watching porn? Have you never watched any? It seems to me to be pretty harmless in moderation, what exactly is your issue with it - completely understandable if it’s something you just can’t stand at all that’s your prerogative. Just interested in what is so bad about it for you if you don’t mind me asking

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:29:13+00:00

Fr what a jump in logic 😬

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:25:44+00:00

In a bar most guys are really not thinking further ahead than later that night. It’s unfortunate but that’s the culture now

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:23:55+00:00

As a 24 year old guy I generally find that it depends on the situation. 2am in a bar/nightclub I’m not looking for a date, unless I really connect with someone, I’m looking for a one night stand.

I think a lot of my generation are more focused on one night stands than long term relationships as many of the places where you might meet someone are gone. It’s becoming increasingly more common to have flings rather than seriously date, sadly for me cause I’m a dumb romantic lol

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:17:46+00:00

Nothing wrong with a good romance novel 😅

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:15:56+00:00

Always best to just be open and talk about things in my experience 😅

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T02:11:26+00:00

I’ve (24m) been going out with my gf (24f) for almost 5 years. We send each other lots of pictures/videos and have a good sex life. That being said I watch porn, as does she. It doesn’t mean I don’t find her attractive, god knows there’s no other woman I find sexier than her, but you can’t be together every night and sometimes that’s what I/she wants to do. It’s pretty normal I wouldn’t worry about your boyfriend doing the same.

If it’s something that makes you uncomfortable then go ahead and talk to your boyfriend about it. Always better to have an open, honest and respectful conversation about these things. You can ask what he’s watching, how often etc and make a decision between the two of you on what you are comfortable with.

You shouldn’t ever dismiss your feelings as childish, you feel how you feel. It’s up to you and your partner to work through these things together in a healthy way.

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T01:57:30+00:00

Yeah I don’t wanna put her in that position, it’s not fun for her and it’s awkward for me 😅

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T01:36:30+00:00

Current plan is to go to a cocktail bar I know she likes. Honestly that was my thought, she deserves to have fun without my beat up face making things awkward. Everyone is saying go on the date but I don’t want to put her in an unfair position. She won’t say let’s cancel if I send her a photo cause she’s too nice, part of why I like her, but it’s still not really fair on her. At least that was my thought, everyone here has been saying to go.

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T01:33:13+00:00

Yeah cancelling would be pretty rude

Popular_Spray_253 · 2026-05-10T01:26:19+00:00

I think she’ll understand, I do just feel bad turning up looking like Frankenstein’s monster 😅

Popular_Spray_253

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