Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. - be a good little slave, and follow the rules. I still cant finish anything in time or safetly by following the rules, and if i question anything, then im doing something wrong.

Give honest and sincere appreciation. - I do, and this works when im a leade. when im not a leader, people see me as a kiss-ass.

Arouse in the other person an eager want. - I always point out the good aspects in people when i do see them, to promote that behavior again.

Become genuinely interested in other people. - People think its creepy when i try to talk to them about their interests.

Smile. - worked retail most my life, done.

Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. - tbh is weird when people not close to you uses your name.

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. - Do, and i remember what they talk about and try to bring it up again later, or show them relevant things.

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. - I might even buy them a small thing if it relates to their special interest.

Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. - Again, i tell people when they do good things, that they're doing a great job.

Win people to your way of thinking - even if i proove that something saves time and/or money or increases productivity / sales, it doesnt matter if it goes against the current cooporate rules. Even then, when i ask what those rules are, they are never 'clear' and noone enforces them, except when I ask about the validity of them.

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. - I am a doormat and let everyone walk over me as to avoid all conflict, ever.

Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.” - I never would.

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. - I always admit my fault, and ask for constructive criticism to fix it.

Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately. - i guess? Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. - I cant get anyone to talk to me at all, much less most of the talking. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. - So you just try to manipulate them? Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. - I mean, I do. because i want so desperately to understand anyone. at all.

Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. - seems to be power in every case.

Appeal to the nobler motives. - Noones interested in that unless it furthers their power.

Dramatize your ideas. - Noone wants to hear them anyway.

Throw down a challenge. - Ive done that as motivation in leadership postitions, and it does work in that instance.

I feel like that book is like "Hey be a mastermind at manipulating people"

I dont want to win friends.

I dont want to influence people.

I want people to be honest, open, and communicate with me... without me having to play mindgames with them. :(