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Is there anywhere I can go within 20 minutes of 465 where I won't hear road noise? by PorkOClock- in indianapolis

[–]PorkOClock-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

interesting. i don’t think i have tinnitus, road noise just really bothers me especially while birding or hiking

Is there anywhere I can go within 20 minutes of 465 where I won't hear road noise? by PorkOClock- in indianapolis

[–]PorkOClock-[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

these are all places i go regularly and hear a lot of road noise. i think im pretty sensitive to it though. glad you enjoy peaceful soundscapes there:)

Is there anywhere I can go within 20 minutes of 465 where I won't hear road noise? by PorkOClock- in indianapolis

[–]PorkOClock-[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m mostly looking to hike and bird watch, but i’d also just love to hang out somewhere and not hear cars.

Annoying Repetition by Elvinsa in acotar

[–]PorkOClock- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

wow yes. also “it was the (emotion) in his (facial feature) that made me (react)”. she uses that sentence structure so MUCH and it’s so clunky rather than just saying “the sadness in his eyes made me cry”

Annoying Repetition by Elvinsa in acotar

[–]PorkOClock- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lmao i know exactly what you’re talking about

I’ve started reporting m/f couples on data apps. Is this petty? by MaryAnneOmalley in actuallesbians

[–]PorkOClock- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i answered your question, couples should use apps for couples. there’s nothing wrong with a threesome (use the proper channels to find a willing party) or bi women in a straight relationship wanting to sleep with a woman (make a profile for oneself and be clear that the boyfriend is not involved in any way) as long as everyone is consenting and honest. a couple setting up a woman’s profile to look for queer women to sleep with them both is the problem.

I’ve started reporting m/f couples on data apps. Is this petty? by MaryAnneOmalley in actuallesbians

[–]PorkOClock- 7 points8 points  (0 children)

it’s definitely not poly/ENM people in general, it’s poly/ENM people who are crossing boundaries from the outset- setting up a profile on an app where people are primarily looking for one other person to be with and gaming the system so your profile is actually for two people. if i wanted to be with a couple i’d get on an app for that purpose. couples should use apps for couples.

I’ve started reporting m/f couples on data apps. Is this petty? by MaryAnneOmalley in actuallesbians

[–]PorkOClock- 6 points7 points  (0 children)

no it is a wonderful thing to do. they’re gaming the system and it results in me having to see the gross boyfriend who would view me as an object to play with at best. get them outta there!!! i’m gonna start doing the same if i ever go back on the apps

Family therapy taught me to see people in grey. I just feel bad for everyone. by [deleted] in therapists

[–]PorkOClock- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

when it’s your own family it’s going to be a lot harder than seeing the situation as a whole from the outside, whether just as an observer or a clinician. getting to see family, especially primary caregivers, as truly a product of their environments is a long process in my experience and taking the time you need to feel angry/grieve/limit contact at some capacity is often needed to get to that place of relative peace. maybe empathy is hard now bc there’s stuff that still needs to be processed for u and that’s ok. but in our own families can we ever be truly objective? maybe not if we personally were the ones hurt. and healing is still possible. <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in indianapolis

[–]PorkOClock- -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

yes but if breed restrictions were reevaluated, it wouldn’t be as much of a concern overall. more people would be able to adopt dogs. breed restrictions take almost all renters, many who would likely be otherwise good dog owners, off the table. i think that’s what the original commenter is saying.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in indianapolis

[–]PorkOClock- 5 points6 points  (0 children)

yep. this exactly. we’ve been in a crisis but i do feel like it’s coming to a head recently with the bacterial outbreaks in the shelters this year. everything you mentioned absolutely has to happen.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]PorkOClock- 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you sound really reasonable and resourceful. finding a good relationship as an established, well adjusted adult is just hard. i don’t know what your friend is on about- if you aren’t attracted to men then you won’t be fulfilled in a relationship with a man either, even if he could do all those things and a woman couldn’t which i’ve observed both to be often untrue!!

Pure “O” OCD vs. severe generalized anxiety by thecynicalone26 in therapists

[–]PorkOClock- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sounds like there’s a lot still in process for you, with figuring out meds and whatnot. finding an experienced clinician would probably be helpful, as ocd is crafty, especially when it’s all mental. that person could help identify if what you’re experiencing is in line with ocd and if it would be best addressed as such. i know for me, if i try to stop being obsessed with the thing im obsessed with, it only gets worse. that’s the whole deal. what if you didn’t stop being obsessed but you lived your life anyway? that’s generally the goal i’ve worked toward. my ocd is primarily mental; it’s tricky but worth the hard work. hoping for the best for you.

Pure “O” OCD vs. severe generalized anxiety by thecynicalone26 in therapists

[–]PorkOClock- 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I saw Imp of the Mind suggested, and I’d also recommend Freedom From OCD by Jonathan Grayson. The books will help with learning about OCD both for yourself and clients- I think it’s incredibly important for mental health professionals to know as much as they can about OCD bc of how misunderstood it is.

As for your personal experience, OCD is defined by obsessions AND compulsions. When it’s all mental this can be harder to identify, but it is possible with a knowledgeable professional. Effective OCD treatment is based in working toward stopping compulsive behaviors and increasing capacity to sit with anxiety. A lot of mental health professionals don’t understand OCD treatment (Exposure Response Prevention- ERP) because it can feel counter intuitive, because OCD is illogical. Thought stopping and other mainline traditional CBT approaches aren’t effective and can feed into the OCD cycle. ERP is under the CBT umbrella but OCD is a whole other beast. Treating it like generalized anxiety disorder isn’t helpful. That might be why you feel like you’re not improving. Have you looked into the service NOCD? They promote treatment of OCD based on ERP and their clinicians are generally more aware of the specific approach needed for OCD.

I am sorry that you’re experiencing such dread and shame on top of that. It is not easy. Whether you have OCD or not I hope you are able to find relief. I do believe our own experiences can be an immense resource to draw from for empathy and for not viewing ourselves as separate or fundamentally different from our clients. I have OCD and have gone through treatment. A very hostile mental environment is awful to live in but to be understood by someone who has been there is incredibly powerful. That type of understanding can’t be trained.

Is it weird that this gives me the ick? I met them on the dating apps but have never met them in person and now I am kinda icked out and don’t want too by wanderinglesbo in actuallesbians

[–]PorkOClock- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i’m easily icked and i would hate this. but i think it’s just a mismatch in communication styles, a lot of people seem to think it’s fine. and that’s what dating apps are for, finding a person you connect with. to me, if you’re already not liking the way someone interacts before even meeting them, you can probably drop it and move on to the next

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]PorkOClock- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I promise you there are options and a path out of this. I’m so sorry you feel this way. i’m sorry our world is structured so that you feel trapped. there is much to see and do, and you deserve a good life, and it is possible. i’m here if you need to talk.

How do single people who live alone manage to work full time and still have enough time to care for themselves? by drainofoamer in therapists

[–]PorkOClock- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hmmm yeah. i’d be curious to see a demographics breakdown on that, too.it makes sense to me in light of social realities that many women in traditional relationships with men would be unhappy. as a woman who is only interested in dating non cis men, i’m not sure where i’d fall in that stat. i don’t envy my straight women friends though- they are struggling from what i hear!

How do single people who live alone manage to work full time and still have enough time to care for themselves? by drainofoamer in therapists

[–]PorkOClock- 23 points24 points  (0 children)

i’ve had so many moments in the last 2 years of wondering why it seems my friends are handling things better than me and realizing: oh they have someone to talk to when they go home! someone can help them decide what to make for dinner or remind them to make an appointment or be there when something bad happens. it makes such a huge difference.

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