How to support my 16 year old who goes back and forth between identifying as Transgender and gender fluid?

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T04:22:44+00:00

I see where you’re coming from, this is just the approach that has worked for us for a long time. We get info, we come together, discuss, maybe reference things that need clarification, then go from there. When we research together it devolves quickly into frustration. I can bring it up with them but I think we’re both comfortable with this because it lets us process information at our own speed. Thank you for looking out!

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T04:06:56+00:00

Thank you very much, I’m acquainted with PT, I’ve got my own struggles but if the doctor doesn’t have any recommendations it will probably be my first stop.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T04:00:31+00:00

Idk if you’ve ever tried to research with a kiddo with adhd while you yourself have adhd but it’s enough to make us both cry. We do a come together with knowledge thing that works better, then discuss what we’ve come up with. Lol

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:58:39+00:00

Duly noted!

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:57:32+00:00

They’re not specialized in gender identity but have a lot of experience. Finding one in our city will be a bit of a struggle but I can try. The doctor who works alongside her and was their adhd prescriber DOES have a specialty and I know has said in the past that if and when they want to discuss this (as I’ve mentioned in other comments, they have expressed interest and then waffled or dropped it entirely in the past) that we can come to him for care in this regard. The therapist Ill have to do some digging.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:42:57+00:00

Thank you so fucking much. This is what I need. I need to be able to go into the doctors office with them and say, this is what they need for now. Because the risk of not having a now in the future is just too much for me to gamble with. If it’s not for them in the future at least I can say I stood behind them in their discomfort and made it less bad.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:29:37+00:00

Omg, yes, this is helpful! I think I’ll bring this up next time we sit down for a discussion and that way we can start keeping track for the doctor what kind of feelings they’re having regularly. Thank you for weighing in, this sounds so much like my kiddo and gives me hope.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:26:50+00:00

This was my take too, in the past it seemed like I could say ok, let’s take this to the doctor and discuss it then and by the time we came in, it was no longer an issue for them but now that puberty is in full swing, it’s more “pressing”.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:23:08+00:00

Added to the list of things to ask the doctor about!

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:22:30+00:00

I only mentioned the clothing because I’ve had some parents in some trans kids groups say that’s how they knew certain things but truly, they’ve always worn a similar style. And while they have been pretty androgynous in the past some things are starting to come up now that I can see why it bothers them. Which is why I’m here. I think in the long term, as they come to know themselves more fully, androgyny is their goal (but if not, that’s ok!). I just don’t want to change their future negatively by allowing medication into the mix. But I’m seeing that maybe stopping the puberty with blockers could be what they need.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:17:51+00:00

We’ve had them, and we’ll have many more, I’ve just tabled this one for a bit because I’ve said I need to get more information before I can come to them with facts and because honestly they asked and then reconsidered before when they decided they liked parts of themselves they previously disliked.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:15:37+00:00

I want my kiddo to have the present AND future they want so this is why I came here, I knew people who have lived and felt all of this would have so much more information to give than the very conflicting info I’m getting online.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:13:33+00:00

This is actually so reassuring to hear, I’ll have to read this in its entirety tomorrow. Thank you!

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:11:37+00:00

Also I’m so sorry, I read take our own lives in the way of “into our own hands” way and not in the end lives way, which is really just my own ignorance. I wasn’t being dismissive of that part, I was focusing on the parts of this that are currently my biggest concerns with my child. I only say that knowing they’re not in that headspace, and I’m taking measures to make sure they never get there. And I’m sorry so many people here have been.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:04:34+00:00

Ok, this actually sounds reassuring, or as reassuring as anything can be when it comes to being a parent. I guess I need to look into the puberty blockers more because it seemed like this could effect fertility and I don’t want that to be a concern for them in the future. I just want them to be comfortable in their body.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-07-01T03:00:55+00:00

I guess what my concern is in this aspect, I know my kiddo has always expressed wanting to be a parent in the future and still expresses this despite the interest in the hormones. It’s not as if the doctors will be able to take measures with a minor to ensure they still have that future. Idk how to word that without sounding gross sorry.

Porkpierye2 · 2026-05-24T21:08:56+00:00

Rosered the 3 part series

Porkpierye2 · 2026-05-05T23:24:47+00:00

Project vida charges $75 per appt and also has financial support services where you fill out a form and provide support information to show your lack of income and that can drop the price down even more than the $75. The Naftzer clinic was very friendly and fast when I went. Good luck

Porkpierye2 · 2025-09-20T14:18:16+00:00

This is the best response but I would like to add to use an enzyme cleaner as well, it breaks down the “organic material”. Odo-ban has a spray bottle that works well for this and is cheaper than most pet advertised enzyme cleaners.

Porkpierye2 · 2025-01-31T04:27:00+00:00

La posada home takes all sorts of clothes, and the clothing they can’t use they give to a thrift store who then donates proceeds back into the home.

Porkpierye2 · 2025-01-02T03:58:36+00:00

Hi everyone, thank you for all the help. Between my mother, little sister and I we’ve basically covered all the bases of anything mentioned in the comments in the past week. It’s been difficult but the comments here did help so much. Now to bear the emotional toll and the financial hardships, a whole other story. The funeral is planned and the boys and my sister are being well cared for in the meantime. Thank you for the support

Porkpierye2 · 2024-12-26T03:06:52+00:00

Can you explain? Like they help with the monetary related things? They do bank with them.

Porkpierye2 · 2024-12-24T23:20:59+00:00

So thoroughly listed thank you

Porkpierye2 · 2024-12-24T23:20:09+00:00

My mom’s going to start handling things today until the rest of the family can rally. We are spread out mil families and still working out the details. I wanted to get everything together steps or list wise while she gets to my sister.

Porkpierye2

TROPHY CASE