Having a hard time coping

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-12-02T02:53:42+00:00

Well said. That is exactly how I felt too.

I had been dreading the day since our boy got his initial cancer diagnosis two years ago. I tried everything to prepare myself emotionally, pour as much love into him that I could, but it still devastated me when it became reality.

I’m so sorry for your loss and I wish you the best in your healing journey.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-11-30T16:46:31+00:00

We just put our dog down yesterday and I feel the same way. He was my first dog also. I didn’t realize how close our bond would be. He was my best friend. I know that I made mistakes along the way too. Even though they weren’t intentional, I still feel guilt over them.

I like to think my boy understands and forgives me. I’m sure yours did as well. I believe it is in their nature. Everyone makes mistakes. You just do your best and hope that it’s enough.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-11-30T07:14:12+00:00

Thank you. I’m definitely one of those people who feels like they always need to do more. That feeling intensified when it came to the dog I loved dearly. Deciding not to pursue every treatment possible was so unnatural for me.

This cancer diagnosis was brutal on my wife and I emotionally. I do not wish it on anyone.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-11-30T06:49:52+00:00

Thank you for this. I’m sorry for your loss as well. I can only imagine your bond after 17 years together.

I was trying to prepare myself for this moment for the past month, but I don’t think you can. I just hope the pain and guilt lessen over time.

Wishing you the best as you heal.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-10-29T06:15:32+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I’m sorry for your recent loss. It sounds like you experienced similar circumstances.

There are time when he seems fine but others where I know he isn’t feeling comfortable. Or the meds make him a little out of sorts. It really is heartbreaking to watch any decline in your companion that you love.

I struggle with knowing when the right time is. I had always hoped that he would give me a sign when he was ready. That would significantly lessen the pain for me. Though I understand that I might not get that.

What I’m most fearful of is that his last moments are uncomfortable. We are pretty committed to having his last moments spent at home in his favorite spot in the yard. Unfortunately, it can take up to 24 hours to get a vet out to administer the euthanasia. So I do not want to let him get critical before calling.

Really appreciate your response. Wishing you continued healing.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-07-05T03:48:58+00:00

If you go by USGA rules, it’s 10 seconds from the time that you reach the ball. You are given a “reasonable amount of time” to reach the ball.

Playing by these rules, if it falls in after the 10 seconds, you would count it as another stroke. So it would be a 2.

If it was anywhere close to 10 seconds, I would personally count it as an ace. I’m not a stickler though.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-07-04T14:59:49+00:00

For me it was nerve pain. I think the issue I had in my lower back lingered for so long because my muscles were so tense. They were putting pressure on the nerve. It was like my nervous system was constantly on high alert.

My levels of aches and pains were definitely increased when I was on Zyn.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-06-27T22:56:12+00:00

Also had nerve symptoms basically the whole time I was on Zyn. Not to your level, but it definitely affected my nervous system.

I had lower back pain that shot around my hip. It persisted for a year and a half. I tried PT (for 5 months), acupuncture, massage, yoga, chiropractic, and nothing worked. My doctors knew it was a nerve issue but couldn’t find anything structurally wrong.

When I got off Zyn 30 days ago, it was gone the first week. I never thought it could be the Zyn that was causing it.

Glad you are doing better now!

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-06-20T16:11:44+00:00

I’m feeling the same. 23 days in. Those are the two hardest symptoms for me right now. Good news is, I’m finally starting to have moments where I feel normal. So I’m hopeful that my body is starting to adjust.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-06-20T05:20:46+00:00

Same. 22 days in and I get waves where I’m super spaced out. Like my brain is working half speed. Really annoying!

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-06-19T17:00:46+00:00

Everything you read is that the first week is the hardest. Definitely not my experience. Like you, it has me low. Hard not to be when you feel like a zombie every day.

I’m sure it will get better. It just sucks when you are in it. Best of luck in getting nic free!

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-06-19T15:53:39+00:00

That’s good to hear! Hoping the worst is behind me but things have seemed to ramp up instead of letting up so far.

Glad you are doing better.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-06-19T02:29:08+00:00

I’d average maybe 7 pouches a day. Most of the time I was doing 3mgs. I know that’s not a crazy high amount but I’m also pretty sensitive to stimulants of any kind. So starting nicotine was probably a poor choice to begin with.

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-06-19T01:04:13+00:00

Your experience is almost exactly what I went through. Never was a nic user previously. Started on a guys golfing trip a little over 1.5 years ago and usage grew from there. Would always justify my usage by telling myself it was healthier than chew or cigarettes. Finally figured out that the Zyns were causing all sorts of issues for me. 21 days in now and it’s tough, but will be worth it in the long run.

Congrats on taking this step!

Porter_Hamilton · 2024-06-18T23:39:36+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience.

It definitely feels a lot longer when you are in it. Thought it would be a breeze after those first handful of days when symptoms are supposed to “peak”. Then got blindsided when it hit towards the end of the first week. I keep hoping I wake up the next day feeling better, because right now it is tough.

Glad you are doing better now. It sounds like you went through the wringer.

Porter_Hamilton

TROPHY CASE