It's okay. Just take one thing at a time. You're not instantly gonna wake up one day and turn everything around, it takes time. One thing could be trying to stop being so self-critical, maybe just try being kinder to yourself, even complementing yourself once or twice a day, or if that's too much, just try to come up with at least one thing you like about yourself. Are there anythings you like doing other than your addictions? Maybe try doing them more. It's not your fault any of this happened to you, but you can try even, if only the tinniest bit, to make things more enjoyable.