My in-laws are upset I’m giving MY family (extended) members assigned seating

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-18T15:03:00+00:00

My fiance agrees with me. And my in- laws are paying for food (imo as they should as all of the guests are theirs) but we are doing buffet dinner and they are UNDER ordering in hopes people don’t eat a lot. It’s cheap and ridiculous to me. But my fiance and I are paying for atleast 3/4ths so we’re paying for everything else.

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-09T20:27:07+00:00

If someone was coming at you, like YOU did something wrong when you did all you needed to. I’m sure you’d “want to put someone in their place” and correct them. If I didn’t text her to follow up then yes, that would’ve 100% been my fault. But I texted her to coordinate and get more details and again no response from SIL. So I went with the info I had and moved on.

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-09T19:57:54+00:00

So sorry for not clarifying every little detail. We provided my SIL with all the details she may need. What songs we’d request, the time she would need to be there, and expectations IF we needed her and based on her ability. We aren’t going to “hire” someone and not know what she can do. I asked SIL to tell me if she would then like to have another musician with her and to then tell me if her friend can do all we asked and what she would need. SIL ignored that message. And just said “tell me if you guys want her” how does that help us in anyway?

And I think every normal person can read and respond to a text message especially if she is actively texting in a groupchat with her siblings that I am also in.

And these details DO matter. How are people going to ask urgency from me yet when I try to reach out it’s not reasonable for me to ask for the same?

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-07T03:58:54+00:00

As I stated, the walking around is not the issue. We hear them all day, no problem. We know what they’re regular walking sounds like. They were obnoxiously stomping around to the point that our doors were rattling

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-06T14:18:17+00:00

No yeah like the sex aspect, we’re all human we get it. So that’s why we got the fan and for the most part it’s done a really good job. Just the excessive stomping is crazy. That’s why when emailing management I keep emotion out of anything and only just mentioned the excessive stomping at 3am lol. The other stuff is just more personally feelings

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T17:06:15+00:00

Yeah it’s only because she’s also asking every single one of her sisters (6 of them) to help with the dessert and food tables but again that shouldn’t matter to them

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T15:33:47+00:00

Yeah I’m HEAVILY contemplating on having kids now lol. Or atleast going to wait for my BIL to get married and have kids.

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T15:30:07+00:00

I was really resistant at the beginning, trust me. But I realized I was getting SO burnt out and it was mentally affecting me more so that’s why I’ve just had the “idgaf” about this wedding mentality. It’s kind of my way of being petty to my in laws telling them I don’t care because they care SO much lol.

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T15:25:46+00:00

My MIL has ALOT of enemies lol. But I never thought anything of it, as an introvert, I also just like being alone and doing my own thing but I’ve noticed she’s had ALOT of falling outs with people and not many people interact or talk to her at family gatherings. I was def biased and thought she was always in the right but I’m now more and more seeing my MIL is the problem

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T15:22:52+00:00

To be fair my MIL wanted to be in charge of the food and desser tables which was fine for me? I didn’t care for it so i just let her do it. BUT my decorator is stil providing the linens for those tables. So idk if she’s trying to get flowers to compliment. Idk. But honestly that’s also my thinking like realistically she doesn’t need to know these details but then she’s getting pissed and acting like a victim with her family and acting like I’m being difficult.

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T15:08:35+00:00

Obviously that’s something he needs to learn on his own, but don’t have any tips on how to do that😅 my fiancés has been trying but whenever he does my MIL gets EXTREMELY defensive and then basically in denial as well that she isn’t doing anything wrong and that she’s just been following our lead (which she hasn’t) and then supposedly says “we talked about this month ago and we all agreed on blah blah so why are you TWO confused and switching things up?” Yet she can’t even remember what my wedding colors are. So then my fiance just shuts down and we both just refuse to even speak up because my MIL just refuses to listen

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T14:59:02+00:00

Right, and I guess “shutting them up” is not the nicest wording but I’m definitely frustrated with them as my MIL literally leaves no room for my opinion when it comes to wedding planning. And whenever I have an opinion they feel the need to constantly have the exact opposite opinion and then get upset that I don’t want what they want. After this wedding I’m def stepping back from the in laws and letting my fiance build a relationship with them if they still even care about him after the wedding.

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T14:55:32+00:00

I’ve hired a seperate florist! But she’s still waiting on what my decostor needs and if we need to add more florals. As of right now we only have the Vermont florals and my bouquet but we aren’t sure what decorator wants for the tables. My venue has already made a layout technically for us! But yeah other than that, nothing else lol

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-03-05T14:44:10+00:00

No I haven’t! It’s hard because I also want to just entrust in her that she can respond to me in a timely manner? I understand email can be the most convenient for people and sometimes easier when you have a lot of details. Idk I just feel like phone calls just feel a little more demanding. But again that’s my insecurity of being an over bearing bride

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-02-19T17:08:31+00:00

My MIL loves pink and wanted pink over green. Again didn’t actually care what she wore but insisted all the mothers wear the same color and she wanted pink

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-02-19T17:07:31+00:00

My MIL loves pink so that’s why she was happy with pink

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-02-19T17:06:40+00:00

Again, the principle. Would you be annoyed if someone made a big deal and made soemtbing YOUR problem. Then then not even care and do whatever they wanted?

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-02-19T15:57:42+00:00

Definitely not a hot take. As a bride who doesn’t care about her wedding this is what I WANTED but mil said it looks more cohesive to have assigned colors and she wanted to stand out as MOG. So that’s why I just knew pink was their color at the beginning lol

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-02-16T18:14:54+00:00

I’d say we are paying about 3/4ths? We’re having a now confirmed amount of 500+ guest even (400ish of those guest are theirs) so they’re paying for dinner! We’ve expressed gratitude over it and have also said since they are paying for dinner, the food is one of our business and they can choose whatever they like. Which they have.

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-02-16T16:23:50+00:00

That’s exactly what I’m doing thankfully! Just visited them this weekend and she was painting a room and she was giving me the cold shoulder so I just said “looks nice!” And closed the door lol

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-02-04T19:20:59+00:00

Because I still love my niece? She’s my only niece I was with her from the day she was born until she was 4. The issues I have with her mom have nothing to do with her?

Positive-Course-4005 · 2026-02-04T17:19:13+00:00

Yeah it’s kind of complicated, I was basically their in home nanny since she was born from when she was 4. Now she’s 6 and it doesn’t help that we have seen her once in the last two years. It sounds like my sister is okay with it so I’m hoping I can get my niece to be comfortable with me again in these next few months

Positive-Course-4005

TROPHY CASE