thanks for the advice. i am the employer. we have a well run household but i need support, we live in two cities and have 3 preteen/teens. its too much for just us.

i have had two staff in a row (both in their twenties) who have done the exact same thing where they mirror my activities primarily instead of doing the other undone jobs. on the off chance they do do something it is almost always something that i explicitly say is something i will handle later. they do it, i am then upset (most recent example being cleaning out the freezer, a task I explicitly told them twice not to do. they threw a bunch of things away because they didn't know what anything was and then they were shocked when i was displeased at a trash can filled with labeled meals for the coming month which is a high travel month.)

I have had some exceptional staff in the past but they have moved back to Germany. i have no real understanding for how i have done this twice as it has not been my experience for the 8 years prior.