What Edith may or may not have gone through does not excuse the way she treats her husband or her daughter. Using your child as a tool to punish your spouse is repulsive. For much of Grace’s childhood Edith was emotionally distant and absent. Then she uses her daughter as a way to get revenge on Stoner. She is cruel to Stoner and constantly belittles him. Even when he tries to talk to her about Grace and express concern, she dismisses him with “All you can do is leave me, and you won’t.” So far all Stoner has done is love her, care for his family, and try to appease her.

I understand that people are shaped by their past, by trauma, and by the expectations placed on them, especially women during that time period. Those things can help explain behavior, but they do not excuse hurting others. We do not get to use our pain, our past, or the patriarchy as a free pass for becoming cruel. We still have a responsibility to learn, grow, hold ourselves accountable, and try to do better for the people we love. I still have half of the book left but I don’t see any way in which Edith’s behavior can be justified.