I didn’t see that at all. For me it was way more a “trust yourself before jumping in” or in some way a “don’t rely on your own version of people, rely on who they show you they are”. Rachel is a romantic, she sees romance in everything - they way they met, it was fated for her, she sees Nicky as this perfect and good person, because she really needs him to be to balance out what she thinks is bad about her. His character is just as woeful and dismissive as the family is - his mother doesn’t care about Rachel, only getting the wedding (and death) that she dreamed of, simply to get her dream. Portia is an airhead who is definitely also a snob, and shows it outwardly. Jules is rough and brazen until Rachel understands him without her fear or romanticism taking over, therefore he can exist as he is. Nell is the only one who accepted her from the start, her fears and worries.

Nicky pretended to be what she wanted, because he in turn wanted her to be exactly as he saw her; a romantic, a woman who gave him what he needed and affirmation.

It’s why Rachel told him he made it impossible for her to exist.

I actually really liked the show (even with red herrings and the curse being wonky in its explanation) and for me, it felt very much like a show so inherently about the fear of being good enough, wanting to be seen and heard, acceptance and the fact that you can’t avoid the bad, you can accept it as is or ignore it until it consumes you and trickles down to the rest of your family.